Hulse Double Sinks Sky Blues – Old One-Eye Sinks Double in Pub.

 

Old One-Eye's Match Report
6 November 2009, Pride Park Stadium
Derby County 2 Coventry City 1
Hulse (49, 62)     Best (4)

Derby County:

Stephen Bywater (5); Fredrik Stoor (6); Shaun Barker (7); Dean Leacock (7) (Miles Addison 78 mins); Dean Moxey (7); Gary Teale (7); Robbie Savage (7); Paul Green (6) (Jake Livermore, 88); Stephen Pearson (7); Paul Dickov (9) (Lee Croft, 80 mins); Rob Hulse (8)

Subs: Ross Atkins; Jay McEveley; Paul Connolly; Bryan Hughes

Coventry City:

Dimitrios Konstantopoulos; Patrick Van Aanholt (Chris Hussey, 68); Leon Barnett; Elliott Ward; Jordan Clarke; Isaac Osbourne; Aron Gunnarsson; Jack Cork (Michael McIndoe, 68); Leon Best; Freddy Eastwood (David Bell, 77); Clinton Morrison

Subs: Daniel Ireland; Jermaine Grandison; Gary Madine; Sean Jeffers

Attendance: 26511 (681 Sky Blues)

Referee: Phil Crossley (Kent)

Match Report:

Rams fans had a win to celebrate tonight as two second-half Rob Hulse strikes finally put paid to a spirited Coventry City. Earlier, Leon Best had given the visitors the lead against the run of play.

The dreadful injury crisis that has been blamed by many for blighting Derby's season so far took a few turns for the better with Rob Hulse, Dean Leacock and Paul Green returning to first-team action following spells out with The Galloping Trots, Mumps and Green Parrot Disease respectively.

For the first time in ages too, a full compliment of substitutes was named, so the danger of the bench tipping up suddenly and causing injury if a replacement stood up unexpectedly had also been removed. One worry though was the presence of young keeper Ross Atkins replacing the injured (who'd of guessed it?) Saul Deeney.

A further word about Derby's bench – for the first time in football history, a side had named six humans and one Zombie – Jay McEveley – who, it was recently revealed, had actually 'Flat lined' on the operating table when he was receiving surgery on his damaged cheekbone necessary to restore his Andrew Flintoff-like looks.

McEveley had trained this week in a natty 'Phantom of the Opera' mask in order to prevent another horrific and shattering accident. There is no truth in the rumour that the equally horrific Gary Teale has to wear it for similar reasons whenever he uses the dressing room mirror.

The game started with Derby pegging Coventry back and Gary Teale prominent down the left, but the first two moments of danger ended in the same way – with Rob Hulse being pulled up for a foul in the Coventry penalty area.

Despite a bright start, all went sour for the home side as early as the fourth minute when Freddie Eastwood, in acres of space, made progress down the left and his cross found the head of Best. The striker's header looped towards goal where Leacock, Barker and Bywater failed to deal with the danger. Bywater's desperately weak punch was met by Leon Best who almost apologetically volleyed back into the net to give Coventry the lead.

Dean Leacock became the first of Derby's walking wounded when he received a blow on the head which required attention and a change of shirt.

Whilst he was off the pitch receiving treatment, The Rams won a corner which the Coventry defence dealt with rather easily, but the home side continued to press. Derby next won a free kick on the right which Robbie Savage crossed into the area. After an almighty scramble the ball fell to Dean Leacock who volleyed goal wards, but his shot was, fortunately for the visitors, deflected behind for a corner with the keeper well beaten.

Two minutes later, a snap shot by Hulse was also deflected behind with Konstantopoulos beaten – a clear corner which everyone in the stadium saw except for the match officials. It had been all Derby for first 10 minutes, with the exception of the ten seconds of madness that had given Coventry the lead. However, you get nothing for being pretty, which surely must come as a relief to Derby's left winger.

A series of corners were all Derby had to show for an impressive first quarter of an hour, after one of them, Shaun Barker was brought down in the area for what looked to be as obvious a penalty as they come, but again referee Phil Crossley turned down Derby's appeal. Incidentally, when Old One-Eye looked up Mr Crossley on the internet in preparation for this match report, it came as no surprise that one of the web pages returned was an advertisement for laser-corrective surgery.

Midway through the first half, Shaun Barker was on the receiving end of an albeit accidental Leon Best elbow – and Coventry, in keeping with the way the game had gone so far for Derby, refused to kick the ball out of play.

In fairness, the referee was frantically waving for play to continue, but eventually with Barker lying prone and leaking a considerable amount of claret, the referee finally considered the injury bad enough to stop play. By this stage, the lady who washes the kit had the washing machine warming up because The Rams were quickly running out of shirts.

When play restarted Bywater, for the second time in the game, almost completely missed his punch only on this occasion Derby's fragile defence managed to spare his blushes by scraping the ball clear.

The home side were rapidly running out of ideas, the slick passing of the first 20 minutes by now a distant memory, but the visitors seemed bereft of ideas themselves and the game settled into a scrappy and instantly forgettable period, interrupted all too often by the sound of the referee's whistle and the scratching of pencil on notebook.

Paul Dickov and Leon Barnett were both booked for performing what looked like a poorly choreographed foxtrot as Coventry for a while claimed total control of midfield, and little was coming from Derby until Robbie Savage found Gary Teale with an excellent cross-field pass. Teale cut inside but his powerful right foot drive was narrowly wide of the near post.

Dean Moxey skinned Jordan Clarke and was brought down, the Coventry man receiving a booking for his trouble. From the resultant free kick, Dean Leacock headed back across goal but the ball ended up safely in the hands of Dimitrios Konstantopoulos.

Patrick Van Aanholt became the fourth player in the book in as many minutes when he was cautioned for taking an eternity over a throw in, then Stephen Pearson fired over when well-placed. A series of robust challenges woke the crowd up before Dean Moxey crossed wildly into Row Q.

Moxey made up for his profligacy when Coventry broke away, picking the pockets of Freddie Eastwood when a second goal for the visitors looked a certainty.

If Eastwood's miss was bad, what was to follow from Paul Dickov was absolutely awful. The best move of the game so far, deep inside the five minutes of first half stoppage time, saw the energetic Stephen Pearson pick the ball up deep in the Coventry half. He set off towards the edge of the area and when Paul Green sold a dummy that would have done Mothercare proud, Pearson carried the ball into the area. An excellent cross found the otherwise superb Paul Dickov on the edge of the six yard box, only for the Leicester loanee to blaze over with the goal at his mercy.

The second half started rather scrappily with both sides guilty of giving the ball away too often, but the first bit of quality brought The Rams an equaliser. An innocuous looking ball into the box from Dickov was expertly met and instantly controlled by Rob Hulse on the penalty spot, and his flick with the outside of his right foot evaded the diving goalkeeper and found the bottom corner of the net. It was no more than Derby deserved on the balance of play.

Somebody should have told Stephen Bywater that Halloween was a week ago, because for the third time in the game, he did his best Dracula impersonation, doing everything he could to avoid any crosses that came within his vicinity.

Luckily for Derby, on this occasion the referee's piercing whistle came to his assistance although if The Rams had anything like an experienced keeper on the bench and by the way Bywater had performed so far, a piercing stake through the heart might have been the more appropriate option.

On the hour, Derby came within inches of taking the lead as Gary Teale's fine cross shot narrowly avoided Paul Dickov's touch on the edge of the six yard box. A minute later and Derby had their noses in front. Stephen Pearson burst down the left and his cross was retrieved by the tireless Dickov beyond the far post.

With Coventry's defence all at sea, Rob Hulse stepped back a yard and met Dickov's pull-back first time, smashing the ball past the helpless Konstantopoulos with his trusty right peg.

Teale came close to a third, firing the ball across the face of the goal, but the next incident was unfortunate to say the least. Robbie Savage picked the ball up close to the half way line and Jordan Clarke dived in with a challenge that was a little reckless.

Savage went flying – there was certainly contact but the Derby skipper seemed to make a bit of a meal of it, ploughing a five metre furrow with his ample conk – that's CONK, Doris – that will take some filling in tomorrow. but it was a late challenge, and Savage's slightly overdone theatrics incensed City's players and bench alike as the referee brandished a second yellow then a red in the direction of the young Coventry defender.

The turf had taken its toll on Robbie Savage's by now bloody nose, and an inordinate quantity of clean white shirts made their appearance. It was like QPR all over again. Derby won a series of corners and from one of them, Stephen Pearson unleashed a drive that was saved comfortably by Konstantopoulos.

The Rams were now looking as comfortable as they had done all game, keeping possession for long periods but only rarely threatening to put the game to bed. Coventry countered by introducing Michael McEndoe for Jack Cork and Chris Hussey in place of Van Aanholt. The changes seemed to give City a lift and they belied the fact that they were a man down.

The ten men poured forward in search of an equaliser and gave a very good account of themselves despite being outnumbered, but they looked somewhat vulnerable to the breakaway on more than one occasion on an increasingly slick surface. Blood or dew? Who knows?

Coventry's final throw of the dice was to bring on David Bell for Eastwood with 15 minutes to go, and Derby boss Nigel Clough was forced to replace the injured Dean Leacock.

The Derby boss had the luxury of two ready-made replacements on the bench in the form of Miles Addison and Jay McEveley, but took the predictably cautious approach in throwing Addison into the fray, and who is to say he was wrong in doing so? McEveley, for all his battling qualities, was bound to be more of a risk. Law 13f categorically states that any undead shenanigans involving the eating of opponents' brains, whether interfering with play or not, shall receive a caution in the first instance and be punishable by a direct free kick.

Lee Croft's first contribution upon coming off the bench to replace Paul Dickov was to be shoved in the back by Hussey – an offence which earned the Coventry man a booking - for a very soft penalty which Rob Hulse, with a hat-trick staring him in the face, telegraphed and hit with all the power of a wet kipper.

Konstantopoulos, who Old One-Eye was getting particularly tired of due to RSI in his wrist, had little problem in making the save, although he had to be careful as his vision was impaired by tears of laughter. It was a dreadfully anti-climactic moment, but somewhat predictable. League hat-tricks for Derby are rarer than rocking-horse droppings.

Jake Livermore came on for Derby to replace an absolutely shattered Paul Green, and to Rams fans' consternation, Coventry forced a corner in the final minute of normal time but to the relief of home supporters, Bywater finally got his hands to a cross. The resultant burns will cause him to miss the next seven games, no doubt.

There were further collywobbles as Barker slipped with three Coventry players in close attendance, and Addison twice scraped the ball clear under intense pressure. Finally Derby regained a little composure and ran the clock down in Coventry's half, and Mr Crossley's whistle after 5 minutes of stoppage time brought relief to the faithful.

All in all, it was a deserved victory for Derby which elevates them up to the dizzy heights of 17th place in the table, but it should have been oh so very much more comfortable. As the acrid smoke from bonfire parties in the Wilmorton area of Derby cleared, and the acrid smoke from the burned-out cars of the bonfire parties of Nottingham drifted in.

The Rams had given themselves a welcome and very overdue fillip going into the international break.

Old One-Eye's Man of the Match:

Paul Dickov

 

Photo: Action Images

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