| Came across this rant from a few years back 14:18 - Apr 24 with 8404 views | jeffro |
Fck knows who wrote it but its genius:
I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR
win at the moment.
I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogs**t under the
likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier
and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.
The club isn't ours anymore but moreso than that - football is just
properly gash these days.
I mean really gash.
football generally.
I hate nearly everything about it these days....
I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City
breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of
money.It's no more exciting that Nameless C*** getting to number 1 in
the charts after winning the X-Factor.
I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's
17,playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20
after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.
I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever
happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money
thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the **** are Charlton,
Leeds and Southampton still in business?
I hate Frank Lampard's stupid f'ing face. I hate that Joe Cole's
tongue is never in his mouth, the downsy spacker. I hate John Terry
being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.
I hate the England team.
I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully
had nothing but pace.
I hate the FA Cup. There may be little shocks like last night but for
the most part you know who's going to win it. Unless a team throws
away all their financial security to win it a la Pompey.
I hate Harry f'ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp.
And the Wii.
I hate James Nesbitt, Eammon Holmes and f***ing everyone.
I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.
I hate Garth Crooks.
I hate Garth Brooks for that matter.
I hate Sky Sports.
I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the
keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards
it's amazing.
I hate that everything football related has to have 'Club Foot'
playing behind it.
I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.
I hate Mark Lawrensen for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the
back'. I bet you do.
I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other
than pain and disappointment.
I hate any advert that mentions pies at football.
I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game.
I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I
hate that it'll probably be us.
I hate Phil Brown.
I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers
real problems this summer' before EVERY F'ING TOURNAMENT.
I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this
post than I'll earn this month.
I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.
I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop f'ing lingering.
I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or
Bradford.
I hate that a comeback from 4-0 down at half time (TWICE) means
nothing because we aren't f'ing scouse.
I hate Leeds.
I hate Roy Keane.
I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst
shopping on a saturday when their team is playing at home.
I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.
I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.
I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then
sungin a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.
I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.
I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest
thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to
Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the
street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They
had2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fk me...
Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost
written one.
I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before
they start. |  | | |  |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 14:31 - Apr 24 with 5591 views | Juzzie |
It was someone on LFW that did it!!  |  | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 14:33 - Apr 24 with 5584 views | DWQPR |
Remember it well and I believe it was even picked up by Danny Kelly on Talksh1te after it was written. The bit that made me laugh the most though was this:
I hate Garth Brooks for that matter. | |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:00 - Apr 24 with 5488 views | kensalriser |
Thought I recognised the style. Proper misanthropy, but much to agree with. Especially James Nesbitt. |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:28 - Apr 24 with 5394 views | Tonto |
I am glad that club foot (which is a song I really like) has now been replaced by Tiny Tempah though.... |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:30 - Apr 24 with 5382 views | WeaverQPR |
Mizzog needs to cheer up. |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:35 - Apr 24 with 5372 views | paulparker |
Spot on about the Redcraps I dunno who winds me up more Jamie or Arry
oh and those fu cking stupid mars bar adverts with the England squad
and did anyone catch Emmon Holmes crying about not winning anything on talkshite
the other day , what a proper top draw Kunt he is |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:40 - Apr 24 with 5361 views | N12Hoop |
Excellent stuff. One thing missing is the hatred for the bloke who looks incredulous and laughs at you whilst you have the following conversation:
Him: "So who do you support then?"
Me: QPR
Him (with that incredulous look on his face and a swallowed giggle) "why do you support them?".
Me: "We can't all be glory hunting fans can we because then there'd only be 3 or 4 teams. Who do you support? Arsenal, Spurs, Scum even?"
Him : "Man U" (or, if over 30 or so, "Liverpool").
Me: Oh is that where you're from originally?
Him: "Err No"
Me: "get to watch them much, what with living in London and all?"
Him: "never seen them play live but went on a stadium tour once"
These are the people I truly loathe |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 15:55 - Apr 24 with 5322 views | CiderwithRsie |
Specially liked this:
"I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment. " | | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 16:15 - Apr 24 with 5271 views | Bluce_Ree |
What can I say, I was having a bad day that day. |  |
| ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH MARTI THE REDEEMER WHO STRENGTHENS ME. |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 16:17 - Apr 24 with 5268 views | BrianMcCarthy |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 16:15 - Apr 24 by Bluce_Ree |
What can I say, I was having a bad day that day. |
That's still gold, that is. Love it. |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 17:19 - Apr 24 with 5162 views | Antti_Heinola |
i hated it.
but only because 50 million people emailed it to me for weeks afterwards going 'look what this QPR bloke wrote! you like QPR don't you! So i thought i'd send it to you, even though it's been all over the internet for absolutely weeks and so i assumed i saw it before you'.
before that i thought it was very funny. |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 20:55 - Apr 24 with 4921 views | barabajagal |
How is the term 'Downsy Spacker' genius? I can't be the only R's fan to find this deeply offensive, can I? |  | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 21:02 - Apr 24 with 4906 views | EalingRanger |
Well I hate it. |  | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 23:02 - Apr 24 with 4762 views | Antti_Heinola |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 20:55 - Apr 24 by barabajagal |
How is the term 'Downsy Spacker' genius? I can't be the only R's fan to find this deeply offensive, can I? |
yes. that and the fairly rancid homophobia.
but the rest is quite funny. | |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 23:11 - Apr 24 with 4739 views | Pommyhoop |
''I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.''
 Brilliant..  |  |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 00:27 - Apr 25 with 4680 views | Bluce_Ree |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 20:55 - Apr 24 by barabajagal |
How is the term 'Downsy Spacker' genius? I can't be the only R's fan to find this deeply offensive, can I? |
Apologies. I wrote a stream of consciousness rant because QPR pissed me off and I was falling out of love with football. People do dumb shit all the time, especially me. It was years ago and we live and learn. | |
| ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH MARTI THE REDEEMER WHO STRENGTHENS ME. |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 00:32 - Apr 25 with 4677 views | Bluce_Ree |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 23:02 - Apr 24 by Antti_Heinola |
yes. that and the fairly rancid homophobia.
but the rest is quite funny. |
That's entirely unintentional. I have no issue with gay folk. Indeed they make the best post-punk music and they don't have babies. Fab. | |
| ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH MARTI THE REDEEMER WHO STRENGTHENS ME. |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 04:07 - Apr 25 with 4638 views | smegma |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 00:32 - Apr 25 by Bluce_Ree |
That's entirely unintentional. I have no issue with gay folk. Indeed they make the best post-punk music and they don't have babies. Fab. |
Sir Elton Wiggy has a baby. | | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 08:48 - Apr 25 with 4503 views | Discodroid |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 00:27 - Apr 25 by Bluce_Ree |
Apologies. I wrote a stream of consciousness rant because QPR pissed me off and I was falling out of love with football. People do dumb shit all the time, especially me. It was years ago and we live and learn. |
fuk apologies i thought it was excellent ..didnt find any of it offensive in anyway. just a stream of consciouness which is appreciated by a clued up, niche audience..
the trouble with football boards and these type of posts is that we only have one thing in common the football team we support....and perhaps gallows humor which comeS with supporting QPR.
why do we support that team??.. because of the unusual name??, the stand out strip that we pawed over in our panni sticker books in the play ground, the love of being the underdog??, or your grandad(in my case) dragging me along in 1977.. i would be amazed if i had anything in common with 80% of this board.
leaving politics out, if you like the same music, you can bet you have more or less the same sense of humor, personality and tastes in culture ie books,arts,fashion,film etc..
i must have offended 90% on here at some point or another..my posts have more edits than a US house producer , so as not to offend, But i still manage to pull it out of the bag, now and again.
for the more risque stuff its off to the niche music boards i go.
more of the same. bluce....the board will be a better place for it. [Post edited 25 Apr 2014 9:17]
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| " I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969 |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:02 - Apr 25 with 4485 views | scot1963 |
makes me laugh - it's a rant and usually rants are inappropriate to some degree. I once did a whole totally inappropriate expletive ridden rant about potato picking for the rest of his life to my eldest over the phone after he'd been skiving his college lessons and I was threatened with paying the whole cost of his course - my other kids were actually impressed at the amount of 'f' words I'd managed to get in - again, totally inappropriate of course but has now passed into legend in the family.
That's true, Disco about what we all have a common - there is a bloke who comes into work and I've always thought he was a bit of a strange miserable git but I happened to notice what looked like a QPR shirt hidden underneath his coat on Saturday and we started chatting because of it and I now feel a certain warmth towards him |  | | |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:10 - Apr 25 with 4462 views | toboboly |
No-one was offended at the time, as they saw it and realised it for what it was. People getting on their high horses need to take a step back and engage their brain. |  |
| Sexy Asian dwarves wanted. |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:16 - Apr 25 with 4446 views | Discodroid |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:02 - Apr 25 by scot1963 |
makes me laugh - it's a rant and usually rants are inappropriate to some degree. I once did a whole totally inappropriate expletive ridden rant about potato picking for the rest of his life to my eldest over the phone after he'd been skiving his college lessons and I was threatened with paying the whole cost of his course - my other kids were actually impressed at the amount of 'f' words I'd managed to get in - again, totally inappropriate of course but has now passed into legend in the family.
That's true, Disco about what we all have a common - there is a bloke who comes into work and I've always thought he was a bit of a strange miserable git but I happened to notice what looked like a QPR shirt hidden underneath his coat on Saturday and we started chatting because of it and I now feel a certain warmth towards him |
have nothing to do with that strange fruit at work scotty !..a qpr top!! ...he is obviously the 'zodiac' serial killer and collects pictures of niko krancjr , crudely superimposed with pritt stick over renaissance works of art ....after your've discussed simon stainrods hairstlye circa 1982...what else is left to discuss.
does you good to cut loose every now and again though !!! [Post edited 25 Apr 2014 9:18]
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| " I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969 |
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| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:19 - Apr 25 with 4417 views | BrianMcCarthy |
| Came across this rant from a few years back on 09:10 - Apr 25 by toboboly |
No-one was offended at the time, as they saw it and realised it for what it was. People getting on their high horses need to take a step back and engage their brain. |
It's context. I didn't find it offensive, and those words can set me off if I feel there's malice behind the, as I had a kid sister who died young due to disabilities. There was no malice whatsoever in this. | |
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