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Following the success of the Random Irritations thread, thought I'd start a seasonal one.
I'll go first
EVERYTHING - TV programmes, shops etc etc just bung the word Christmas in front of the same programmes/products we have been "enjoying" all year just to be "Christmassy"
Someone will be doing that on here soon..............................................oh
Over to you......
1
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:30 - Nov 28 with 3920 views
Bluce, I think we can do all those things at once, can we not? I think there are just about enough people in the world to concentrate on more than just cancer.
But my random christmas irritation is Slade. Just fk off with your sh1tty, annoying, screechy, God awful, over-played, terrible song. Which does have a nice lyric, but still, I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Bare bones.
2
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:38 - Nov 28 with 3900 views
Hearing Christmas music. Fine, I understand people look forward to and want to enjoy Christmas and maybe a few Christmas songs on the radio would be fine in the week leading up to Christmas. I was flying from Gatwick at the end of October and one of the shops in Departures was blasting out Christmas music. It was October.
fark all on the box , resulting in me having to watch all the "soaps"
being asked to go into the secret santa at work- fark off
people mad dashing bulking up on food - its a roast dinner FFS , & the shops will be open again the day after boxing day
xmas shopping for the missus- I really cannot be ars ed truth be told, which will result in me having to buy over expensive perfume
being asked to get home from the pub for 1.30pm the one day of the year the landlord buys you a drink and I can only hang around for 40 minutes , all because the outlaws are coming ,
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
1
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:40 - Nov 28 with 3893 views
Christmas Day being 30 odd degrees. Sorry Isaw I AM an Aussie citizen and I f'cking love it over here . But Xmas should be cold . I should be slipping and sliding back home from the pub with a warm glow ready for Dinner. Every year I get older I miss the cold .Thats mad eh ,seeing as old grunters back home f'cking hate the cold...
1. Christmas adverts and promotions at the end of October
2. Those who have done their Xmas shopping by mid November
3. That horrible fckin song by Paul McCartney
4. Shops that send me endless email stating 'we've got Christmas all wrapped up' or anything to do with 'Black Friday'...
5. Coca Cola and other huge corporates putting a photo of Santa and other such meaningless gestures on their products in October
6. People who still believe that the shops will close for a week and therefore have to buy enough food and drink to feed a small town and then probably throw most of it away in January
7. Those who panic buy fuel (as in 6 above)
8. Receiving a Christmas card at my home addressed to 'Reg & Audrey' even though they haven't lived here for 20 years...
9. Paul McCartney (yes again I hate him and that song)
10. Chris Rea, Jools Holl and Slade
11. Groups of party goers with ball-balls for earrings and reindeer antlers on their heads, puking up huge amount of cheap alcopops in the High St
12. Err that's it....
3
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:01 - Nov 28 with 3848 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:38 - Nov 28 by aston_hoop
Hearing Christmas music. Fine, I understand people look forward to and want to enjoy Christmas and maybe a few Christmas songs on the radio would be fine in the week leading up to Christmas. I was flying from Gatwick at the end of October and one of the shops in Departures was blasting out Christmas music. It was October.
This, plus decorations too early...you know who you are.
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:35 - Nov 28 by Antti_Heinola
Bluce, I think we can do all those things at once, can we not? I think there are just about enough people in the world to concentrate on more than just cancer.
But my random christmas irritation is Slade. Just fk off with your sh1tty, annoying, screechy, God awful, over-played, terrible song. Which does have a nice lyric, but still, I hate it I hate it I hate it.
From the wonderful Jim'll Paint It
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:06 - Nov 28 with 3835 views
Christmas has become stressful for me as my wife's birthday is on the 11th and my daughter's is on the 28th.
Apart from the inevitable man-stress of trying to buy three lots of presents for the laydeez in my life the bank account/credit card gets a stiff kicking.
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:44 - Nov 28 by Pommyhoop
Christmas Day being 30 odd degrees. Sorry Isaw I AM an Aussie citizen and I f'cking love it over here . But Xmas should be cold . I should be slipping and sliding back home from the pub with a warm glow ready for Dinner. Every year I get older I miss the cold .Thats mad eh ,seeing as old grunters back home f'cking hate the cold...
Yeah it really isn't Xmas in the heat.
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:06 - Nov 28 with 3830 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:01 - Nov 28 by 1BobbyHazell
This, plus decorations too early...you know who you are.
Ah yes - those who put up decorations the minute November 5th is out of the way and have to make it some sort of attraction to basically make all the neighbours feel inferior...
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:07 - Nov 28 with 3831 views
Every ad is for perfume before. Every ad is for furniture sales after.
Highlight - settling into the sofa with a bottle of port and a big lump of cake to watch the morning session of the Melbourne test when everyone else has gone to bed on Christmas Day.
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:45 - Nov 28 with 3775 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:39 - Nov 28 by paulparker
Some Xfactor twunt being number 1 in the charts
fark all on the box , resulting in me having to watch all the "soaps"
being asked to go into the secret santa at work- fark off
people mad dashing bulking up on food - its a roast dinner FFS , & the shops will be open again the day after boxing day
xmas shopping for the missus- I really cannot be ars ed truth be told, which will result in me having to buy over expensive perfume
being asked to get home from the pub for 1.30pm the one day of the year the landlord buys you a drink and I can only hang around for 40 minutes , all because the outlaws are coming ,
'being asked to go into the secret santa at work- fark off '
fantastic, roared with laughter at the thought of your face mate.
will a simple flick of the chiv across thier arse cheeks , not suffice?.
'being asked to get home from the pub for 1.30pm the one day of the year the landlord buys you a drink and I can only hang around for 40 minutes , all because the outlaws are coming '
superb !...
for some reason i cannot decipher, were going to her mums for about 6 weeks this year . it seems to get longer every year, this year i plant to spend the time studying and qualifying for my PHD in quantum physics and learning hungarian.
enjoying gary glitters xmas smash . ' another rock and roll christmas(another christmas rock and roll)', but only being able to enjoy it secret in case i get reported to the authorities by over zealous nieghbours.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:48 - Nov 28 with 3764 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:57 - Nov 28 by billericaydicky
Ah yes, good one, deep breath, here goes...
1. Christmas adverts and promotions at the end of October
2. Those who have done their Xmas shopping by mid November
3. That horrible fckin song by Paul McCartney
4. Shops that send me endless email stating 'we've got Christmas all wrapped up' or anything to do with 'Black Friday'...
5. Coca Cola and other huge corporates putting a photo of Santa and other such meaningless gestures on their products in October
6. People who still believe that the shops will close for a week and therefore have to buy enough food and drink to feed a small town and then probably throw most of it away in January
7. Those who panic buy fuel (as in 6 above)
8. Receiving a Christmas card at my home addressed to 'Reg & Audrey' even though they haven't lived here for 20 years...
9. Paul McCartney (yes again I hate him and that song)
10. Chris Rea, Jools Holl and Slade
11. Groups of party goers with ball-balls for earrings and reindeer antlers on their heads, puking up huge amount of cheap alcopops in the High St
12. Err that's it....
number 8. utter utter genius dicky!!
i am in awe, post of the year!
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:54 - Nov 28 with 3753 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:48 - Nov 28 by Discodroids
number 8. utter utter genius dicky!!
i am in awe, post of the year!
Thats only an irritation once the envelope is ripped open ,the card flipped upside down revealing no money or gift voucher. Before that its naughty ,almost sexy even.
pom, why are they always to' ron', 'audrey', 'vera' and 'norman'.....anyone who has those names died sometime around the last tommy cooper christmas special was broadcast'.
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 12:02]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:01 - Nov 28 with 3741 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:47 - Nov 28 by Discodroids
'being asked to go into the secret santa at work- fark off '
fantastic, roared with laughter at the thought of your face mate.
will a simple flick of the chiv across thier arse cheeks , not suffice?.
'being asked to get home from the pub for 1.30pm the one day of the year the landlord buys you a drink and I can only hang around for 40 minutes , all because the outlaws are coming '
superb !...
for some reason i cannot decipher, were going to her mums for about 6 weeks this year . it seems to get longer every year, this year i plant to spend the time studying and qualifying for my PHD in quantum physics and learning hungarian.
enjoying gary glitters xmas smash . ' another rock and roll christmas(another christmas rock and roll)', but only being able to enjoy it secret in case i get reported to the authorities by over zealous nieghbours.
the office idiot at work asked me if wanted to go in and draw a name out the hat i said how much and she said £15.00 , Fifteen pounds i said , fark that i don't even spend that on my missus , i said no farking chance , il probably draw the office bore so that means i have to go to anne summers and buy a chocolate cock, oh the hilarity
i feel your pain Disco about the mother in law, mine comes every sodding year from Ireland, i don't mind a night or 2 but 5 days !!! she then has to insist on cooking the xmas dinner meaning its on the table at 1.30pm on the dot , we then have to sit down and all play rummy after for about 4 hours until fcuking emerdale farm comes on
i deserve a George cross i tell yer
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
1
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:06 - Nov 28 with 3725 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:09 - Nov 28 by Metallica_Hoop
Christmas Cake, fookin horrible stodgy dry mess that smells like plastic explosive.
Even the icing is shit.
Love Brandy pud though nom nom nom
Oh God. I'd forgotten the whole Christmas cake/Christmas pudding/mince pie thing.
I really can't stand any of them and spent at least three weeks having to politely decline them over and over and over again because they are everywhere. Literally everywhere.
It's like offering a cigarette to a non-smoker. The answer will never change.
when i was married to the little indian bird, she wanted to do christmas dinner for the family , about 12 people...i bought this huge turkey from the butchers that had the density of depleted uranium .a behemoth.
anyway she thought shed better clean the fkr in the bath?.
i thought the best way to assist her was to work my way thru 16 bottles of castle lager downstairs.
after a while i head a shriek, (bear in mind she was 4ft 11 and about 6 stone , if that), i went tearing up to find she had falling in the bath with this huge dead turkey mounting her and couldnt get it off..
to top it all it tasted like a urinal cake.
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 12:13]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
0
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:12 - Nov 28 with 3716 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:01 - Nov 28 by paulparker
the office idiot at work asked me if wanted to go in and draw a name out the hat i said how much and she said £15.00 , Fifteen pounds i said , fark that i don't even spend that on my missus , i said no farking chance , il probably draw the office bore so that means i have to go to anne summers and buy a chocolate cock, oh the hilarity
i feel your pain Disco about the mother in law, mine comes every sodding year from Ireland, i don't mind a night or 2 but 5 days !!! she then has to insist on cooking the xmas dinner meaning its on the table at 1.30pm on the dot , we then have to sit down and all play rummy after for about 4 hours until fcuking emerdale farm comes on
i deserve a George cross i tell yer
LOL at the Irish Mum inlaw with the prompt dinner on the table. I've got an Irish Mum who tried to be prompt but but never was but also had an Irish Dad (God rest him) who was always late anyway so it didn't matter. Jesus ,I miss those days carefully making our way home in the ice (and hopefully snow) in our best Xmas jumpers.
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:10 - Nov 28 by Discodroids
hahaha..
when i was married to the little indian bird, she wanted to do christmas dinner for the family , about 12 people...i bought this huge turkey from the butchers that had the density of depleted uranium .a behemoth.
anyway she thought shed better clean the fkr in the bath?.
i thought the best way to assist her was to work my way thru 16 bottles of castle lager downstairs.
after a while i head a shriek, (bear in mind she was 4ft 11 and about 6 stone , if that), i went tearing up to find she had falling in the bath with this huge dead turkey mounting her and couldnt get it off..
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