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Following the success of the Random Irritations thread, thought I'd start a seasonal one.
I'll go first
EVERYTHING - TV programmes, shops etc etc just bung the word Christmas in front of the same programmes/products we have been "enjoying" all year just to be "Christmassy"
Someone will be doing that on here soon..............................................oh
Over to you......
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:25 - Nov 28 with 1960 views
Supermarkets making you feel guilty unless you have bought a billion calories worth of food and drink from their emporia.
People you don't see often who send you cards with no message bar "From Fred". At least tell us whether Tibbles made it through another year.
Retailers who think that any product whatsoever, be it a new carpet, a vacuum cleaner or some industrial strength wrinkle cream is a thoughtful and appropriate seasonal gift.
RFA
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:34 - Nov 28 with 1948 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:10 - Nov 28 by Discodroids
hahaha..
when i was married to the little indian bird, she wanted to do christmas dinner for the family , about 12 people...i bought this huge turkey from the butchers that had the density of depleted uranium .a behemoth.
anyway she thought shed better clean the fkr in the bath?.
i thought the best way to assist her was to work my way thru 16 bottles of castle lager downstairs.
after a while i head a shriek, (bear in mind she was 4ft 11 and about 6 stone , if that), i went tearing up to find she had falling in the bath with this huge dead turkey mounting her and couldnt get it off..
to top it all it tasted like a urinal cake.
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 12:13]
Ha Ha Ha quality
Btw does anyone's other half attempt to write out xmas cards on your behalf to give to your work colleagues or is it just mine ?? every year she tries doing it before i have to tell her to turn it in
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:07 - Nov 28 with 1927 views
Do you really need a new dining table, sofa, 4k curved HDTV just for Christmas? If the people you invite over aren't happy with what you have already maybe they're not worth inviting?! Of course they are, it's just more pressures to put people under.
When I were a lad, I got an Action Man/Star Wars figure and/or accessories and that was that. Now if you don't get your kids an XBox/Playstation/iPad/Computer etc then you are 'mean'. The social pressures to spend huge amounts of money on piled-high boxes of presents is obscene.
Getting absolutely w@nkered at the company Christmas bash. Really? Fk me we're a country of alcoholics aren't we. Due to the job I was in, I went to at least half-a-dozen parties each Christmas (my record was about 13 one year!) yet I managed to have a good time and drink without the need to get to the point where I was vomitting in the gutter.
The way a quarter of the year is taken up with something that happens for one day.
The way Christmas is now referred to as "seasonal holiday" and so on just so not to upset anyone. It's "Christmas" FFS. Most non-Christmassy people I've spoken to have no problem. It's the PC do-gooder w@nkers that put words into others mouths and then try and tell us how to behave.
But, I do love Christmas :o)
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 13:15]
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:35 - Nov 28 with 1896 views
The person in the office who insists on wearing the Novelty Xmas tie or socks that play jungle bells. Look at me I am funny . No you are a bellend
Office Christmas lunches/parties. If I want to socialise with my work colleagues I will at any point in the year but to be asked to pay £25 for a mass produced Christmas dinner at a hotel that tries to charge you £6 for a pint of crap beer.
Noel Edmonds - No further explanation required
Stonebridgers
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:36 - Nov 28 with 1895 views
Agree on the music - can't think of many xmas jingles that don't get me reaching for the nearest meat-cleaver, though I think 'War Is Over' is even worse than that one by McCartney, if only cos Ono sings on it.
'Christmas Cheeses' with weird things in it like fruit, nuts & whatnot. An insult to cheese.
But what I really hate is that there are no, that's NO trains running on Boxing Day, which means getting to wherever the Rs are (invariably away of course) is something of a challenge. At least it's London this year.
Still, at least people seem to be ever so slightly nicer to each other than normal, so it can't be all bad.
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:48 - Nov 28 with 1880 views
.being told by ex wifes that you can have your own children for 3.2 seconds over christmas while she rides seasonal phallus , and expecting to be knighted for it on mums net.
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 13:56]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:53 - Nov 28 with 1872 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:54 - Nov 28 by Pommyhoop
Thats only an irritation once the envelope is ripped open ,the card flipped upside down revealing no money or gift voucher. Before that its naughty ,almost sexy even.
Thanks for the compliment Disco and Pommy you are right, the card always gets opened in the faint hope that there is money inside, but as you say there never is...
...but one thing that is constant is the quality of the card - it's always a real cheap one with glitter on it (most of which ends up in the envelope) and bells or a Robin.
I shall toast Reg & Audrey this year wherever they are (probably brown bread, but hey it's the thought that counts at this time of year).
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:55 - Nov 28 with 1859 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:48 - Nov 28 by Discodroids
.being told by ex wifes that you can have your own children for 3.2 seconds over christmas while she rides seasonal phallus , and expecting to be knighted for it on mums net.
[Post edited 28 Nov 2014 13:56]
I'm still too old to say it, but ...LOL...
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 13:57 - Nov 28 with 1854 views
Everything except the food and getting cool shit you can't justify buying for yourself. POSSIBLY the happiness drawn from seeing your children still revel in the novelty of it all.
The rest is dogw@nk.
ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 17:08 - Nov 28 with 1772 views
The whole bloody festive season stinks, but I guess the thing that ranckles me the most at Christmas is the visit of the outlaws on Christmas day. Another bloody tasteless shirt from mother outlaw which I'll never wear and goes straight into a charity bag when she's not looking and father outlaw moaning and groaning about the gravy on his dinner berating everyone because its not bloody Bisto. Bisto for gods sake!! We make real gravy not drain water. Last year the miserable philistine brought his own jug of Bisto round just to make a point. When he wasn't looking I poured it down the kitchen sink drain. That was not the best move as he must have known my actions and moaned on and on about the gravy on his dinner. I just wish he would have Christmas dinner on his own in the future. Then they both want to watch what they want watch on our TV. Bloody cheek I ask you! Brussel sprout aftermath [flatulance] is a great way of seeing off unwanted visitors on Christmas day.
There aint half been some clever bastards.
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 20:03 - Nov 28 with 1722 views
Carol singers. There's just enough time between Halloween and Christmas for the septic tank to fill up sufficiently to get a really decent pumped discharge at them through the letterbox.
Going into your local pub and queuing up behind some prat ordering 27 Malibu and cokes for people with reindeer ears and Santa hats on their heads and each of them paying for their drinks individually with a credit card for which they can't remember the PIN because they're too p1ssed.
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 22:05 - Nov 28 with 1567 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 20:12 - Nov 28 by TheBlob
Carol singers. There's just enough time between Halloween and Christmas for the septic tank to fill up sufficiently to get a really decent pumped discharge at them through the letterbox.
You're lucky if you still get actual carol singers
Round our way it's a bloke with a face covered with cotton wool driving round in a van with a couple of loudspeakers. Its like a Redknapp presser with Bondy murdering Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background.
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:50 - Nov 29 with 1496 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 20:58 - Nov 28 by StraightR
Going into your local pub and queuing up behind some prat ordering 27 Malibu and cokes for people with reindeer ears and Santa hats on their heads and each of them paying for their drinks individually with a credit card for which they can't remember the PIN because they're too p1ssed.
thats a great one...usually women from leigh on sea in bad manchetesr perms and letting rip with white wine farts.
these christmas jumpers that i keep seeing everywhere , de rigueur for the metro sexual/TOWIE ship of hairless fools aged 18-30 with alan turing hairstyles . i havent worn one since i got 'tommy cooper' golf in 1976.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 10:56 - Nov 29 with 1492 views
Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 20:12 - Nov 28 by TheBlob
Carol singers. There's just enough time between Halloween and Christmas for the septic tank to fill up sufficiently to get a really decent pumped discharge at them through the letterbox.
i suggest a move to tower hamlets or newham uncle, there hasnt been a reported sighting of a carol singer since 1980.
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 11:17 - Nov 29 with 1484 views
The 'anti pc-brigade brigade' claiming that 'you now can get arrested if you call Christmas Christmas.'
People complaining because they have to buy presents, exchange pleasantries, go out with work colleagues and generally be a little nicer for a small period of the year.
Poor sods who have to work up to midnight on Christmas Eve, or worse, on the day itself and only get time and a half or double time.
Receiving money from my retired mother as a gift, I'm a 41 year old in full-time employment Mum, a card and QPR calendar is all I need.
The QPR calendar with the already sacked Manager and long term injuries or youth team loanees plastered over 12 glossy months
Any bloke who expects 'the wife' to cook for 12 people, while they sit in comfy chair, obviously half-cut and snooze (see Christmas family adverts for common theme).
the R's doing really poorly on Boxing Day
The irritation for my family that it is also my birthday on the 25th. Sorry.
Merry Christmas folks,
Nik
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Random CHRISTMAS irritations on 12:40 - Nov 29 with 1455 views
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