| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread 15:06 - Nov 29 with 7765 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
If you like to put cucumbers up your bum, comment absolutely anything below! : ) [Post edited 30 Nov 2015 7:55]
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 17:49 - Nov 30 with 3285 views | johncharles |
In a trendy Hackney bar they put cucumber in my gin and tonic 
Cucumber in a G&T I asked (with biting sarcasm) you can stick that up your bum. |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:44 - Nov 30 with 3243 views | wombat |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 17:34 - Nov 30 by Clive_Anderson |
Can we use the existing cucumber up the bum thread please?
Don't want five threads on it cluttering up the front page. |
Does it count as part of your five a day ? |  |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:50 - Nov 30 with 3229 views | Clive_Anderson |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:44 - Nov 30 by wombat |
Does it count as part of your five a day ? |
You certainly don't want five cucumbers cluttering up your bottom. |  | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:52 - Nov 30 with 3227 views | wombat |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:50 - Nov 30 by Clive_Anderson |
You certainly don't want five cucumbers cluttering up your bottom. |
That would be greeedy I was thinking of starting small
Mini gherkin served with poncy cocktails
Then small gherkin unsliced as used in most burgers
The. Courgette adds some width
Then cucumber for main course | |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:53 - Nov 30 with 3227 views | Dorse |
'They don't like it up 'em' - these Hoops ain't slack.
These guys? Well, it could go either way, to be fair. |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:53 - Nov 30 with 3227 views | FredManRave |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 12:16 - Nov 30 by paulparker |
I had a mate who went out with a Bird who was quite handy with a cucumber
the funny thing was when she was "finished" with it she would cut it up and put it in his cheese rolls |
Mate, can you just confirm that she wasn't handy as the (new) title of this thread would suggest, just to put my mind at rest.
I'm not even going to ask where they got the cheese from. |  |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 19:04 - Nov 30 with 3211 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:52 - Nov 30 by wombat |
That would be greeedy I was thinking of starting small
Mini gherkin served with poncy cocktails
Then small gherkin unsliced as used in most burgers
The. Courgette adds some width
Then cucumber for main course |
When you get your confidence up, you can move onto marrows. | | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 21:57 - Nov 30 with 3150 views | TheBlob |
Lawrence Durrell
"Life is like a cucumber. One minute it's in your hand, the next it's up you ass." |  |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 23:44 - Nov 30 with 3098 views | johncharles |
New chant for Thursday " Stand up if you've got a cucumber up your bum "
Well, I suppose you'd have to wouldn't you ? | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 23:44 - Nov 30 with 3098 views | johncharles |
Bum [Post edited 1 Dec 2015 9:06]
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| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 08:11 - Dec 1 with 3042 views | ade_qpr |
Now I know how they got their name.
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| If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 08:24 - Dec 1 with 3033 views | paulparker |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 18:53 - Nov 30 by FredManRave |
Mate, can you just confirm that she wasn't handy as the (new) title of this thread would suggest, just to put my mind at rest.
I'm not even going to ask where they got the cheese from. |
all I will say Fred is that this girl liked her 5 a day and was very good in the fruit & veg department
my mate at the time was into all sorts of filth and used to get a kick out getting said cucumber or banana in his lunch box after the main event ,
the funny thing is I dated her for a week a couple of years before he did and didn't get as much as a peck on the cheek , I dunno if I should be gutted or counting my blessings,
as for the cheese I do know he was into his red Leicester |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 08:54 - Dec 1 with 3020 views | Lush1664 |
As an amusing sideline to this thread; a builder pal of mine recently sent out a funny porn video short on WhatsApp where a bird sticks a cucumber up her jacksy and it then appears to come out sliced from her Jack and Danny - all very funny but not one to open in a car with the wife and kids on board! However;
He promptly forgets all about it and a couple of days later is all set up to deliver a presentation of a high-end new build to some very wealthy potential clients in his office, sets up the powerpoint, hits play and guess what comes on? Yes, you got it, the bird doing the old salad slicer routine!!
Absolutely brilliant! |  | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 09:06 - Dec 1 with 3010 views | FDC |
an amusing sideline to this thread
Hard to imagine how this thread could be any more sidelined than it already is tbh! |  | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 09:33 - Dec 1 with 2988 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
To think this all came about from a deleted spackman about the Davis Cup win. | | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 09:41 - Dec 1 with 2958 views | FDC |
A spackman flaps its wings at the Davis cup, and a tornado is unleashed on LFW. [Post edited 1 Dec 2015 9:41]
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 16:51 - Dec 1 with 2884 views | FDC |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 23:44 - Nov 30 by johncharles |
Bum [Post edited 1 Dec 2015 9:06]
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Best edit ever | | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 17:10 - Dec 1 with 2870 views | BklynRanger |
This thread doesn't sit well with me at all in fact it gives me a distinctly uncomfortable feeling. And ass much as I attempted to resist responding in any way, to squirm out of its insistent clutches what's the point? Where does it end?
The horror. |  | | |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 20:58 - Dec 1 with 2789 views | DWQPR |
| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 13:30 - Nov 30 by SimonJames |
Doh! I can't believe I fell for the veg-up-the-arse-confession trick... again. |
Technically you didn't. A cucumber is a fruit and not a vegetable. Just saying like. | |
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| Cucumber Up The Bum Thread on 10:55 - Dec 3 with 2685 views | johncharles |
Just seen a video of Roxy music. Brian Ferry's body language and grimacing suggest that he has a cucumber up his bum. | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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