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Does anyone else here watch Postman Pat (Special Delivery Service) in the mornings? I have to say that he is absolutely fu cking useless at his job. Every parcel he has to deliver, something goes wrong. His deliveries are always late, the cargo’s usually damaged and invariably he has to rope in at least one of his neighbours to dig him out of a hole (sometimes, literally). He’s a fu cking liability and getting up early every morning, only to then have to watch this clown fu cking up what should be a pretty straight forward task, is really beginning to get on my ti ts.
Greendale’s not a big place, he knows his way around it, and only about six people ever receive parcels; yet still this fu cking idiot can’t manage to deliver even a single package on time and without some melodrama along the way. I’ve only been watching this for the past few months, but can anyone confirm whether or not the service was as woeful pre-privatisation, because he is a seriously sh it postman and at 63p for a 1st Class stamp, he's winding me right up.
This is typical of the bloke's sheer idiocy: He's stuck in a tree. How the fu ck, do you get your head stuck in a tree whilst delivering a parcel from the sorting office to someone's house?
[Post edited 9 Mar 2016 13:07]
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
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Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 07:44 - Mar 11 with 5218 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 18:42 - Mar 10 by Konk
Reading between the lines, I'm pretty certain the Mum is trapped in a loveless marriage and just waiting to meet the right bloke. I wouldn't normally encourage this sort of thing, but I've noticed that the dad is very rarely around between 17:35-45 on weekdays - that could be the time to make your move. Topsy and Tim would be great step kids. They probably hate their Dad too.
Do you ever change the words from "So let's all play together, be best friends forever" to "Let's make love together, me and Topsy's mother"? Or is that just me?
I might be wrong, but Topsy and Tim's Dad strikes me as one of those gobby Scousers with a massive chip on both shoulders. Has somehow worked his way to middle management but everyone in the office knows he's just blagging it.
Just for your benefit Konk the actress who plays Topsy and Tim's mum is called Anna Action. Now I know you have a problem with us Shepherds Bush riff raff so having something to do with Acton would mean going further down the social scale. However she has played a police woman in both the bill and Eastenders so you know she is up for a bit of role play but she might draw the line at wearing Red cords.
Stonebridgers
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Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:03 - Mar 11 with 5161 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 14:38 - Mar 9 by Mytch_QPR
Words fail me. You can see what's happened - they've issued the goggles to Pat and he has given them to Jess. Fair play to him to some extent, but an experience such as this would have traumatised the cat, of that I am sure - particularly as the aircraft seems to have lost its windscreen.
This has had me in tears. Bravo.
ask Beavis I get nothing Butthead
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 14:10 - Mar 11 with 5087 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 14:47 - Mar 9 by Konk
Well, given that Ted (handyman/motor mechanic) is responsible for the helicopter's maintenance, I don't suppose we should be too surprised at the lack of a cockpit windscreen. Fair enough, let him have a crack at the van and sidecar, but a helicopter's a completely different kettle of fish. Intuition and being handy will only take you so far. It's the sort of cost-cutting "efficiency" we invariably see after privatisation.
You say this Konk, but the Royal Navy advert on TV clearly says that if i can fix my bike, i can fix a Navy Destroyer as well.
TV's clearly to blame...
Can we not knock it?
1
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 14:44 - Mar 11 with 5050 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 18:42 - Mar 10 by Konk
Reading between the lines, I'm pretty certain the Mum is trapped in a loveless marriage and just waiting to meet the right bloke. I wouldn't normally encourage this sort of thing, but I've noticed that the dad is very rarely around between 17:35-45 on weekdays - that could be the time to make your move. Topsy and Tim would be great step kids. They probably hate their Dad too.
Do you ever change the words from "So let's all play together, be best friends forever" to "Let's make love together, me and Topsy's mother"? Or is that just me?
'So let's all play together, Mum is wearing leather...'
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 08:57 - Mar 11 by stonebridgers
Just for your benefit Konk the actress who plays Topsy and Tim's mum is called Anna Action. Now I know you have a problem with us Shepherds Bush riff raff so having something to do with Acton would mean going further down the social scale. However she has played a police woman in both the bill and Eastenders so you know she is up for a bit of role play but she might draw the line at wearing Red cords.
She's got “The Bill” written all over her. I found out last week that the Nan is actually the paternal Nan and not the Mum's Mum, which I didn't realise. I suspect she spends so much time round there out of a sense of guilt - the Dad's whereabouts are very much the elephant in the room - is he at work "on the rigs" (i.e. inside) or has he walked out on Topsy, Tim and Topsy & Tim's Mum? Whatever, the official explanation, I haven't seen him in weeks, so something's not right there.
On the role play front - My mate suggested a bit of role play to his wife and her response was “Okay, you can dress up as a fireman and clean the house whilst I take the kids swimming”. It wasn’t the response he was looking for.
Just revisiting this thread because this weekend, I was venting about Pat to my wife (she had no idea how I felt) and referred to Jess as a he — to which my wife said, “No, Jess is a girl”. Anyhow, that went back and forth for a few minutes. Over the weekend, we asked a number of other people whether Jess was male or female, and interestingly (or possibly not), 100% of male respondents said Male, with 100% of female respondents said Female.
So, is Jess male or female?
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:14 - Mar 21 with 4776 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:09 - Mar 21 by Konk
She's got “The Bill” written all over her. I found out last week that the Nan is actually the paternal Nan and not the Mum's Mum, which I didn't realise. I suspect she spends so much time round there out of a sense of guilt - the Dad's whereabouts are very much the elephant in the room - is he at work "on the rigs" (i.e. inside) or has he walked out on Topsy, Tim and Topsy & Tim's Mum? Whatever, the official explanation, I haven't seen him in weeks, so something's not right there.
On the role play front - My mate suggested a bit of role play to his wife and her response was “Okay, you can dress up as a fireman and clean the house whilst I take the kids swimming”. It wasn’t the response he was looking for.
Just revisiting this thread because this weekend, I was venting about Pat to my wife (she had no idea how I felt) and referred to Jess as a he — to which my wife said, “No, Jess is a girl”. Anyhow, that went back and forth for a few minutes. Over the weekend, we asked a number of other people whether Jess was male or female, and interestingly (or possibly not), 100% of male respondents said Male, with 100% of female respondents said Female.
So, is Jess male or female?
Get with the times Konk, Jess is 'gender fluid'
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:17 - Mar 21 with 4770 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:14 - Mar 21 by Jamie
Get with the times Konk, Jess is 'gender fluid'
I'm cool with that. The internet genuinely doesn't seem to know either way. The other thing no-one seems to know is if Jess is short for Jessica, or Jess is short for Jessie, what is Jessie short for?
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:27 - Mar 21 with 4755 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:17 - Mar 21 by Konk
I'm cool with that. The internet genuinely doesn't seem to know either way. The other thing no-one seems to know is if Jess is short for Jessica, or Jess is short for Jessie, what is Jessie short for?
Showing your middle englander ways now.
Did you even consider Jessinder?
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:43 - Mar 21 with 4739 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:27 - Mar 21 by Jamie
Showing your middle englander ways now.
Did you even consider Jessinder?
I'm disappointing myself all over the shop with this one. I'm struggling to keep up with the pace of a changing Britain. I can remember when Greendale was all fields, you know.
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 10:48 - Mar 21 with 4711 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 09:09 - Mar 21 by Konk
She's got “The Bill” written all over her. I found out last week that the Nan is actually the paternal Nan and not the Mum's Mum, which I didn't realise. I suspect she spends so much time round there out of a sense of guilt - the Dad's whereabouts are very much the elephant in the room - is he at work "on the rigs" (i.e. inside) or has he walked out on Topsy, Tim and Topsy & Tim's Mum? Whatever, the official explanation, I haven't seen him in weeks, so something's not right there.
On the role play front - My mate suggested a bit of role play to his wife and her response was “Okay, you can dress up as a fireman and clean the house whilst I take the kids swimming”. It wasn’t the response he was looking for.
Just revisiting this thread because this weekend, I was venting about Pat to my wife (she had no idea how I felt) and referred to Jess as a he — to which my wife said, “No, Jess is a girl”. Anyhow, that went back and forth for a few minutes. Over the weekend, we asked a number of other people whether Jess was male or female, and interestingly (or possibly not), 100% of male respondents said Male, with 100% of female respondents said Female.
So, is Jess male or female?
You've got a future as a casting agent (or something) Konk. She was indeed in The Bill.
I think stonebridgers is her agent - he gave us the full biography in an earlier post on the thread. So, I can't take credit for the Bill spot, I'm afraid.
Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 14:56 - Mar 21 with 4616 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 10:48 - Mar 21 by Juzzie
I too am gobsmacked Jess doesn't have a helmet. As a biker I'm fully aware of the need to protect one's head.
Neither of them have hi-vis jackets either or any apparent use of a seat belt.
For shame.
p.s. no screen means they're not up-to-date with safety technology such as HUD.
That looks like a snorkel mask that Jess is wearing. I've carefully noted the the perfunctory wisps to the end of the rotor blades in that action shot, but those babies don't look like they are spinning to me. I've got to say, I'm worried.
Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 16:32 - Mar 21 with 4533 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 15:07 - Mar 21 by Mick_S
That looks like a snorkel mask that Jess is wearing. I've carefully noted the the perfunctory wisps to the end of the rotor blades in that action shot, but those babies don't look like they are spinning to me. I've got to say, I'm worried.
It also has PAT 3 written on the tail of the helicopter. Makes you wonder what happened to PAT 1 and 2...? This definitely needs some sort of investigating by Roger Cook or some other BAFTA award winning investigative journalist and broadcaster.
Occasional providers of half decent House music.
1
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 16:44 - Mar 21 with 4522 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 16:32 - Mar 21 by PunteR
It also has PAT 3 written on the tail of the helicopter. Makes you wonder what happened to PAT 1 and 2...? This definitely needs some sort of investigating by Roger Cook or some other BAFTA award winning investigative journalist and broadcaster.
Perfect opportunity for Emma Thompson to step in.....
0
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 17:00 - Mar 21 with 4494 views
Postman Pat - Special Delivery Service on 16:32 - Mar 21 by PunteR
It also has PAT 3 written on the tail of the helicopter. Makes you wonder what happened to PAT 1 and 2...? This definitely needs some sort of investigating by Roger Cook or some other BAFTA award winning investigative journalist and broadcaster.
I assume that Pat has taken his numbering system from Thunderbirds, where Pat 1 is the bike, Pat 2 the van and Pat 3 the windscreen-less copter thing.
As you all know, I have been greatly concerned by the whole thing. I hate to think that if that thing does go down the last sounds on the cockpit recorder will be the strangled screeches of a terrified, gender neutral cat.
"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
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