| Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 672467 views | Boston |
What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?
A Volts Wagon. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 07:50 - Feb 19 with 7412 views | distortR |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:10 - Feb 3 by qprphil |
Say what you will about women, but I think turning one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
Paddy is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts to feel shaky, and dizzy. He calls down to Murphy and says, " I tink I'll have to go home. I've gone giddy, and feel sick." Murphy asks, " have yer got vertigo Paddy?"
Paddy replies, " no, I only live around the corner. |
yeah, the first joke, on this website....................... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 17:31 - Feb 19 with 7184 views | Boston |
I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DD's.
It was a ridiculously long name. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:01 - Feb 20 with 7069 views | Esox_Lucius |
Blake from San Antonio, Texas is drinking in a Colorado bar during a hunting trip when he gets a call on his cell phone.
He orders drinks for everybody in the bar and announces that his wife has just produced a baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but Blake just shrugs, "That's about average in Texas, folks. Everything is big in Texas."
A week later Blake returns to the bar after being out in hunting for a week.
The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin’ bets about how big he'd be in one week. So, how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, and concerned. "What happened? He was 25 pounds the day he was born."
Blake takes a slow swig from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised." |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Feb 23 with 6646 views | ozranger |
I got an e-mail that tells me how to read maps backwards..
It was spam. |  | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 11:05 - Feb 28 with 6339 views | Esox_Lucius |
| Corny Joke Warning on 08:27 - Feb 23 by ozranger |
I got an e-mail that tells me how to read maps backwards..
It was spam. |
I just got my DNA heritage results back and I discovered that I am 60% Eskimo... I knew it! | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:28 - Mar 5 with 5966 views | Sonofpugwash |
My old Auntie Glad used to say "40 is the new 30"
Lovely woman but banned from driving now. |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 23:15 - Mar 5 with 5867 views | westy |
Two parrots sat on a perch.
One says phwoor can you smell fish | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 23:23 - Mar 5 with 5863 views | westy |
Two pissed tramps at the side of the road one is bent over on all fours and the other is behind him sticking his fingers up his arris. The police pull up and ask them what the hell are they doing. The tramp behind says it’s ok occifer I’m trying to make him sick. That’ll never work said the copper. The tramp replied it will when I stick them in his f ing mouth | | | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:45 - Mar 6 with 5827 views | Boston |
King Charles is over in Sligo on a fishing holiday.
Starts to rain heavily, so his party decide to retire to a local pub.
Walking through the car park he spots an older gent with rod and reel dangling his lure into a puddle, so enquires what the gent is up to.
"Fishing", replies the man.
Poor old bugger thinks his highness, so invites him inside for a pint.
After a couple of relaxing sups, Charlie returns to the fishing question and asks how many had he caught that day?
"You're the eighth" replies Seamus. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 00:58 - Mar 6 with 5813 views | Boston |
What's the most hated month in the military?
March. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:42 - Mar 6 with 5789 views | Boston |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:43 - Mar 6 with 5676 views | Sonofpugwash |
Haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia decades ago.
We were separated at Perth. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:50 - Mar 21 with 5234 views | qprphil |
I met a magical fairy yesterday, she said she would grant me one wish.
I said, " I wish to live forever."
"Sorry," said the fairy" that's the only wish I'm not allowed to grant you."
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die the day after Parliament is filled with honest, hard working bipartisan men and women who act only on the peoples best interests!!!!!!"
" You're a crafty little bastard," replied the fairy. | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 14:39 - Mar 22 with 5069 views | qprphil |
Paddy says to Murphy, " have you seen the news?" 3 Cliff Walkers have fallen to their deaths!!!!"
"Unbelievable," said Murphy, " I can't believe they all had the same name!" | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 16:30 - Mar 22 with 4983 views | NewBee |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:43 - Mar 6 by Sonofpugwash |
Haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia decades ago.
We were separated at Perth. |
Was he the funny twin?
You know, separated at mirth... | | | |
| Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Mar 23 with 4708 views | Dorse |
Police officers pull over two priests in a car. They wind down the window and ask if everything is alright.
'We're looking for two child molesters', say the police. The two priests turn to each other and begin a swift muttered conversation. Eventually, they come to decision.
'Alright. We'll do it!' |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:08 - Mar 24 with 4446 views | Boston |
What d'ya call a QPR player at a cup match?
Spectator. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Mar 24 with 4442 views | Boston |
Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?
He had a great fall. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 06:45 - Mar 24 with 4362 views | numptydumpty |
| Corny Joke Warning on 01:11 - Mar 24 by Boston |
Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?
He had a great fall. |
Touché Boston
On similar lines, a football team known as QPR often experience Great Falls themselves !!! |  |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 19:54 - Mar 24 with 4170 views | Sonofpugwash |
Neil Diamond started out his career as Neil Coal.
That was before the pressure got to him of course. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:22 - Mar 27 with 3919 views | Esox_Lucius |
I was driving across a suspension bridge when all of a sudden ... | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 20:19 - Mar 31 with 3667 views | Sonofpugwash |
Just won an Ebay auction for some carved oak broomsticks.
Got them for a quid each. | |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 09:20 - Apr 1 with 3514 views | Esox_Lucius |
Aldi have a special Humpty Dumpty toy offer, it comes with Aldi Kings Horses and Aldi Kings men for £9.99. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 10:08 - Apr 2 with 3392 views | Esox_Lucius |
So I said to this fella, "I bet you'd like to see where Dick Turpin lived?"
He said: "Sure would".
I said: "No, that's Robin Hood"…. | |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Corny Joke Warning on 14:07 - Apr 3 with 3235 views | Sonofpugwash |
My friend was at a pub quiz and phoned me.
"What's the 2nd biggest state in the USA?"
I said "Texas."
He rang off and next minute I got a text from him;'What's the 2nd biggest state in USA?' | |
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