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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 672489 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 19:08 - Nov 16 with 4876 viewsRebalhoop

Went into Macdonalds today,asked for a small shake…
Bloke next to me called me weirdo and told me to get out of the toilets…
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Nov 16 with 4876 viewsBoston

Where do you find a dog with no legs?


Right where you left it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:18 - Nov 16 with 4861 viewsRebalhoop

Corny Joke Warning on 19:10 - Nov 16 by Boston

Where do you find a dog with no legs?


Right where you left it.


Do you call him Rothmans…

So you can take him for a drag round the park….?
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:37 - Nov 16 with 4843 viewshubble

Imagine if Una Stubbs had married Idi Amin. Una Amin?

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Nov 17 with 4675 viewsBoston

I hear Sadiq Khan is going to take action against the number of satellites orbiting the Earth.


He's installing parking meteors.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 06:48 - Nov 17 with 4615 viewsSK_hoops

Corny Joke Warning on 00:50 - Nov 17 by Boston

I hear Sadiq Khan is going to take action against the number of satellites orbiting the Earth.


He's installing parking meteors.


I heard they are going to replace him with a female horse. At least you'd still be able to call it the mare of London.
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Corny Joke Warning on 00:13 - Nov 18 with 4443 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 06:48 - Nov 17 by SK_hoops

I heard they are going to replace him with a female horse. At least you'd still be able to call it the mare of London.


This will occur at night, right?

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 07:22 - Nov 18 with 4398 viewsPlanetHonneywood

How do you wake Lady Gaga up in the morning?

Poke her face.

'Always In Motion' by John Honney available on amazon.co.uk Nous sommes L’occitane Rs!
Poll: Who should do the Birmingham Frederick?

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 08:37 - Nov 18 with 4358 viewsRebalhoop

If I take my Mrs shopping at Poundland,B@M and Home Bargains,
She lets me munch on her nipples …..

It’s tit for tat
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Corny Joke Warning on 15:16 - Nov 18 with 4285 viewsMick_S

Corny Joke Warning on 19:37 - Nov 16 by hubble

Imagine if Una Stubbs had married Idi Amin. Una Amin?


In other news: Beyoncé has married Roy Castle’s son

Beyoncé Castle. Arf.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:58 - Nov 18 with 4266 viewshubble

That's reminded me Mick, did you know Brian Eno has a brother he's never met, by the name of Howard?

Poll: Who is your player of the season?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 16:58 - Nov 18 with 4217 viewsMick_S

Corny Joke Warning on 15:58 - Nov 18 by hubble

That's reminded me Mick, did you know Brian Eno has a brother he's never met, by the name of Howard?


😂

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:50 - Nov 18 with 4108 viewsLblock

I stole some Moroccan geezers hat in the restaurant I was in earlier

He went mental, saying he was going to smash the gaff up unless it was returned

I wasn’t going to but…….. in the end I had to Fez up

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:45 - Nov 20 with 3896 viewsSonofpugwash

A priest,a minister and a rabbit walk into a bar.The bartender asks the rabbit "What'll ya have?"
The rabbit says "I dunno,I'm only here because of autocorrect".

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

1
Corny Joke Warning on 21:36 - Nov 20 with 3831 viewsLblock

Corny Joke Warning on 09:34 - Aug 30 by Lblock

A priest, a monk and a rabbit walk into a bar

The barman says to the rabbit "what you having"

The rabbit says "No idea mate - I'm only here because of auto-correct"


Ahem

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:20 - Nov 20 with 3795 viewsBoston

Why do you get when an elephant skydives?



A big hole.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:42 - Nov 20 with 3784 viewsBoston

Two atheists go on a date, it all goes rather well, so they return to her house and start undressing.

Her: I know I should have told you this before but, I was a Christian until recently.

Him: No problem, giving up being a Christian is perfectly ok with me.

Her: Thanks, I knew you'd understand, I feel much better now as a Christina.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

7
Corny Joke Warning on 20:28 - Nov 21 with 3600 viewsEsox_Lucius

I decided to gift my family e-readers for Xmas.
You should have seen the smile on the face of the shop assistant when I asked for 4 Kindles.

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 10:43 - Nov 22 with 3464 viewsjohann28

Very pleased with myself - just finished a jigsaw; only took me 6 months. On the box it said 3-5 years.
2
Corny Joke Warning on 21:16 - Nov 22 with 3344 viewsEsox_Lucius

My sister scoffed at me when I told her I was going to build a fully operational car out of spaghetti but you should have seen her face when I drove past 'er.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 17:47 - Nov 24 with 3109 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was walking past the YMCA in town and noticed a teenager sat on the steps stroking a handful of duck feathers.
I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down"

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 10:17 - Dec 2 with 2905 viewsEsox_Lucius

I had to chastise Dolly Parton for her maths skills today,
Dolly, 9,2,5, is no way to make 11.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:39 - Dec 3 with 2758 viewsacricketer

I went the airport yesterday and disguised myself as luggage. I got carried away!
2
Corny Joke Warning on 16:41 - Dec 5 with 2611 viewsEsox_Lucius

I noticed a broken down car at the side of the road, steam coming out from under the bonnet, a large pool of oil under the front of the car etc. The owner waved me down and asked me if I could help and did I know anything about cars. I told him sorry, but no, I'm a chiropodist he then asked if I could give him a toe.

The grass is always greener.

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Corny Joke Warning on 21:03 - Dec 5 with 2552 viewsSonofpugwash

Went for a run this morning but had to turn back after two minutes because I had forgotten something.

Forgot I was a fat old git who can't run.

Poll: Dykes - love him or hate him?

2
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