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Defoe Job Application :Assistant 08:23 - Aug 25 with 5973 viewsDiscodroids



I'll take that job. My salary requirements are £500,000 per annum and the creation of an extra day of the week ( - between Sunday and Monday) to fit
in all the pointless shite the lazy little f ucker can't be bothered to organise for himself.

I will also require all travel expenses from my Leafy North chingford estate to be paid for, since Jerkmaine (sic) is likely, in this twilight of his average career, to be playing for some crappy make-up-the-numbers club like West Brom or Sunderland, and who wants to live in a dump like that?
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 8:26]

"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 08:34 - Aug 25 with 4062 viewsToast_R

Is that for real?
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 08:43 - Aug 25 with 4019 viewsflynnbo

Wonder if 'Arry would be interested!
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 08:53 - Aug 25 with 3955 viewsSilverfoxqpr

'Create his own apps'? 'Produce his own clothing line'? Is this a 'thing'? Are there human beings out there who pocess both these skills and more? Amazing stuff.
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 08:57 - Aug 25 with 3930 views1BobbyHazell

F*cking ell.

And what would a Jermain Defoe app do!?
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:01 - Aug 25 with 3903 viewsMytch_QPR

Welcome back, Disco. Given your skills in speech writing for our Harriet, plus wardrobe and costume designer for Diane Abbott, I reckon you would walk the interview.

I might apply for the job of Harold's driver / dog walker / fixer when Bondy retires.

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:12 - Aug 25 with 3871 viewsLadbrokeR

This was spoken about on Radio London this morning. To be honest Paul Ross and Penny Smith seemed quite incredulous when reading out the job specification. It seems nothing short of a 50 k run around, but i suppose, although i am not sure, isn't that what PAs do. On another note what is 50k as a percentage of Defoes earnings. If he is on 50k a week that's somewhere around 2 and a half million a year. In which case given the amount of work required is it a reasonable rate of pay ?
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:13 - Aug 25 with 3866 viewsDorse

His own fragrance?

'Mediocrity' by Defoe

Comes in a tiny bottle accompanied by a really big bottle. The big bottle scent will do the hard work so you can nip in and score.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:23 - Aug 25 with 3807 viewsjohncharles

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:12 - Aug 25 by LadbrokeR

This was spoken about on Radio London this morning. To be honest Paul Ross and Penny Smith seemed quite incredulous when reading out the job specification. It seems nothing short of a 50 k run around, but i suppose, although i am not sure, isn't that what PAs do. On another note what is 50k as a percentage of Defoes earnings. If he is on 50k a week that's somewhere around 2 and a half million a year. In which case given the amount of work required is it a reasonable rate of pay ?


It even got some sarcastic comments on Radio 4 this morning.
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 9:31]

Strong and stable my arse.

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:31 - Aug 25 with 3769 viewsDiscodroids

IIRC, didnt some bird sell her story to the news of the world about ten years ago, imparting such facts that jermaine does handstands inbetween making love 25 times a night to replenish the b lood supply.

it reminds me of homer in the venus dimilo/baby sitter episode ..

Simpson scandal update..
Kent Brockman :" Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!"
Homer: HEY! That's a half-truth!

"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:32 - Aug 25 with 3769 viewskarl

BRANDING
'Growing his on line database on his website, Twitter, Facebook and other social networking platforms'

I would love to see the person who would let Disco loose on this
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:35 - Aug 25 with 3748 viewseasthertsr

Total proof of why there is such disconnect between footballers and fans. The crass nature of that job description is breathtaking in its unawareness of its stupidity. The only task missing is wiping Jermaine's ar*e!
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:43 - Aug 25 with 3722 viewsMytch_QPR

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:35 - Aug 25 by easthertsr

Total proof of why there is such disconnect between footballers and fans. The crass nature of that job description is breathtaking in its unawareness of its stupidity. The only task missing is wiping Jermaine's ar*e!


That position is known as 'The Groom Of The Stool' and is currently filled. You may send your CV if you wish to be considered for this position in the future.

To be fair, it's good that these rich footballers are creating employment. A whole new underclass of manservants is reviving the days of traditional upper and lower class roles.

I myself used to be a driver for a certain Mr Collymore - here is a rare picture of me between duties in a lay-by just off the A1:


"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:16 - Aug 25 with 3626 viewshopphoops

Please Disco send in a response. Kind of like a flounce forfeit. We'll chip in with some genuine 'quick wins', for example it's criminal that the outgoing marketing gimp hasn't got everyone calling him J-Def already.

A magnificent football club, the love of our lives, finding a way to finally have its day in the sun.
Poll: When will the next election date be announced?

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:26 - Aug 25 with 3601 viewsizlingtonhoop

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 09:12 - Aug 25 by LadbrokeR

This was spoken about on Radio London this morning. To be honest Paul Ross and Penny Smith seemed quite incredulous when reading out the job specification. It seems nothing short of a 50 k run around, but i suppose, although i am not sure, isn't that what PAs do. On another note what is 50k as a percentage of Defoes earnings. If he is on 50k a week that's somewhere around 2 and a half million a year. In which case given the amount of work required is it a reasonable rate of pay ?


You went around the houses on that one Lad.

If he earns, as you speculate, 50k a week, then 50k is 1/52 of the annual figure, or as near as dammit 2%.
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:43 - Aug 25 with 3542 viewsfakekerby

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:26 - Aug 25 by izlingtonhoop

You went around the houses on that one Lad.

If he earns, as you speculate, 50k a week, then 50k is 1/52 of the annual figure, or as near as dammit 2%.


All a bit harsh on Defoe here - smacks of jealousy to be honest.

50k a year - regardless of his own income - is perfectly fine, if not too much for a PA role.

Billion pound corporations pay PAs 25-40k, which is 0.00000000000001% of their revenue so why beat up Defoe for only 2%?

Sounds like the guy has a lot on being a footballer, owning loads of property, other business ventures - why not applaud him for using his money for investments, rather than p1ssing it down the drain on drugs and gambling like many of his peers?
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:50 - Aug 25 with 3517 viewsDiscodroids

The News of the World goes on:

“For all these years I’ve clung to a belief that we might be together one day–but all he wants me for is sex,” sighs Stephanie Moule.

“He’s obsessed with my 36GG boobs. He loves it that he can fit his head into one of my bra cups–and he’s happy just sitting there in my bedroom like that, with my bra on his head.

“Immediately after he climaxes he wants to go again. So he does naked handstands up against the wall because he believes it helps speed things up.

[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 10:51]

"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:54 - Aug 25 with 3499 viewsMytch_QPR

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:43 - Aug 25 by fakekerby

All a bit harsh on Defoe here - smacks of jealousy to be honest.

50k a year - regardless of his own income - is perfectly fine, if not too much for a PA role.

Billion pound corporations pay PAs 25-40k, which is 0.00000000000001% of their revenue so why beat up Defoe for only 2%?

Sounds like the guy has a lot on being a footballer, owning loads of property, other business ventures - why not applaud him for using his money for investments, rather than p1ssing it down the drain on drugs and gambling like many of his peers?


Fair point, I think it's the App and the fragrance that invite ridicule. Plus, he has a wife. If she has her own career then that's fine, otherwise you could argue that it can't be beyond her abilities to organise a few bits of property maintenance and book some concert tickets?

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:59 - Aug 25 with 3479 viewsdanehoop

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:54 - Aug 25 by Mytch_QPR

Fair point, I think it's the App and the fragrance that invite ridicule. Plus, he has a wife. If she has her own career then that's fine, otherwise you could argue that it can't be beyond her abilities to organise a few bits of property maintenance and book some concert tickets?


He also has two house pets who get name checked within the adverts, I mean they cant possibly look after themselves can they?

Never knowingly understood

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:00 - Aug 25 with 3475 viewsfakekerby

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:54 - Aug 25 by Mytch_QPR

Fair point, I think it's the App and the fragrance that invite ridicule. Plus, he has a wife. If she has her own career then that's fine, otherwise you could argue that it can't be beyond her abilities to organise a few bits of property maintenance and book some concert tickets?


One day Dr Dre decided to bring out his own range of cheap tacky headphones and charge customers 20 times the cost to make them, probably to similar ridicule - and now he's a billionaire.

And just because his wife may have a lot of spare time on her hands, does that mean she's equipped to help run a property portfolio and get the best prices out of contractors, etc?

Defoe is seeking professional assistance to make the most of his ventures, regardless of whether they are all great ideas or not.
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 11:03]
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:04 - Aug 25 with 3455 viewskensalriser

Thanks for the Disco, that's cheered me up this morning.

The same person to create clothing and fragrance lines and feed the dog/water the plants?

A bellend among bellends. What a big tart.
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 11:06]

Poll: QPR to finish 7th or Brentford to drop out of the top 6?

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:05 - Aug 25 with 3450 viewsBerkoRanger

I thought slavery had been abolished - allegedly.
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:06 - Aug 25 with 3447 viewsPhildo

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 10:43 - Aug 25 by fakekerby

All a bit harsh on Defoe here - smacks of jealousy to be honest.

50k a year - regardless of his own income - is perfectly fine, if not too much for a PA role.

Billion pound corporations pay PAs 25-40k, which is 0.00000000000001% of their revenue so why beat up Defoe for only 2%?

Sounds like the guy has a lot on being a footballer, owning loads of property, other business ventures - why not applaud him for using his money for investments, rather than p1ssing it down the drain on drugs and gambling like many of his peers?


in fairness it is hard to find someone who can change the cat litter and build a global brand.
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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:11 - Aug 25 with 3427 viewsDiscodroids

Blast from the past ..

to: letters@standard.co.uk
date: Fri, Mar 20, 2015 at 8:32 AM

re 'Cara Delevingie wants your job' rosamund urwin article

"Cara Delevinge wants your job!" screams your headline,
excellent , im a probation officer dealing with violent drug addicts, alcoholics and post code gangs for a pittance in east london, if she can pop down to show my lads and lassies the correct manner to wear a john galliano tifter at a jaunty angle , it would be much appreciated.

when can she start?

glenn
north chingford

re jermains job, Perhaps Cara 'D' would be interested ?
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 11:12]

"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."

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Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:11 - Aug 25 with 3424 viewsMytch_QPR

Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:00 - Aug 25 by fakekerby

One day Dr Dre decided to bring out his own range of cheap tacky headphones and charge customers 20 times the cost to make them, probably to similar ridicule - and now he's a billionaire.

And just because his wife may have a lot of spare time on her hands, does that mean she's equipped to help run a property portfolio and get the best prices out of contractors, etc?

Defoe is seeking professional assistance to make the most of his ventures, regardless of whether they are all great ideas or not.
[Post edited 25 Aug 2015 11:03]


I'm just getting old and grumpy (but not jealous).
That's why I've never heard of Dr Dre.

It's not so much ridicule as just continued disbelief as to the money earned and then the fact that they decide to market themselves (fragrance etc) to bring in even more cash. I guess that the argument is that they have short careers - so rake in as much whilst the going is good. I just find it all a bit crass, that's all.

"Thank you for supporting Queens Park Rangers Steep Staircase"... and I thought I'd signed up for a rollercoaster.
Poll: Next temporary manager (the wheel of misfortune) - as requested by 18 Stone

2
Defoe Job Application :Assistant on 11:14 - Aug 25 with 3409 viewsPunteR

I'm guessing this was written out by his former personal assistant.?

Occasional providers of half decent House music.

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