With QPR’s summer transfer business fast creating a team to genuinely excite the club’s long suffering support, another interesting barometer of progress and how the season might pan out comes at Tottenham on Sunday.

Tottenham Hotspur v Queens Park Rangers

Here it comes, more football, rudely interrupting the “friendly (anti-Semitic) banter” and the scantily clad footballers throwing buckets of cold water over each other.

At the start of the week Malky Mackay was about to be named the new manager of Crystal Palace and all the footballers were fully clothed.

The situation with the former is fascinating — and I say that as somebody who spends quite a good deal of my time slowly thumping my forehead against hard surfaces in pure frustration at the incessant, constant, irrelevant bile that counts as football coverage between matches these days.

Malky Mackay was high on the wanted list for any club without a manager a week ago, but oddly clubs where you would have thought he’d stand a good chance of being employed — West Brom, Norwich — showed no interest and this week we found out why. The whole thing suddenly shines a new light on his sacking by Cardiff, universally billed as the crazy actions of a mentally deranged Malaysian owner who knows nothing about football in this country. Mackay will be lucky to work again in this country, and if he’s not very careful he’s going to take League Managers Association chief Richard Bevan with him after the crass statement they released writing off texts that included “Nothing like a Jew that sees money slipping through his fingers” and “Not many white faces amongst that lot but worth considering” as “friendly banter”.

Rule one in football, and in life actually, never describe anything as “banter” when you’re trying to defend it. “Banter” was a hideous term when it was used purely by Tim Lovejoy and beered up scum travelling to stag parties by rail, disturbing the other passengers by chanting “LADS, LADS, LADS” while chugging tins of warm Stella. Then Richard Keys came along, talking about Jamie Redknapp going round every night of the week to hang out the back of “it”, and now the term is toxic.

It’s the unions’ job to defend their members, but they do their cause no good when they defend the indefensible.

That was set against an odd backdrop of footballers dousing each other in iced water to raise awareness of a rare form of Motor Neurone Disease. Mainly clothed at first, then topless, then in trunks, and by close of play today — in the case of Steven Caulker and Michael Doughty — essentially nothing at all. Ale Faurlin has been nominated next — man your sexual battle stations for that one.

It’s hard to shake the idea sometimes that the football is all rather getting in the way. All 92 Football League clubs play this weekend and yet if you can stand the all new Sky Sports News HQ (they’ve rebadged it you fool) for more than 30 seconds you’ll notice that, apparently, the closure of the transfer window is a far more pressing matter (still nine days and two rounds of games to go before that, calm yourself lads). In fact once you’ve got the commercial breaks out of the way, and the synopsis of what’s currently showing on other Sky channels, and the completely irrelevant round up of what GazMUFC82 and Lewis Grabban are talking about on The Twitter, there’s really no need (or in fact time) to talk about the actual football, or show any of it, whatsoever.

When we do eventually make passing reference to an actual game, it has to have a hook. Is it a must win? Is this the title race on the line right here and now in August? Is this a grudge match? There has to be something that makes this something other than simply the latest meeting of Everton and Arsenal, who have played each other at least twice every season since the dawn of time, and will continue to do so.

For QPR, at Spurs this weekend, the hook is Harry Redknapp, who managed to slip mention of his consecutive top four finishes at Spurs into conversation just the three times during his pre-match triffic-a-thon earlier today.

Harry Redknapp is an odd case really. No Tottenham manager before him or since has achieved Champions League football in the modern era, and yet a really good portion of Spurs fans were happy to see him leave the club — admittedly after a five month collapse in form that occurred while he was publicly courting the England job. He has plenty of critics at QPR as well, even though he took over a shambolic mess at Loftus Road, successfully cleared out more dead wood than you find floating in your average swamp, rebuilt the team in double quick time and promoted it straight back to the top flight — admittedly while operating on the Championship’s biggest playing budget and playing football that could bore a hyperactive gnat into a sedentary slumber.

One would imagine it niggles Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy that for all the money he spent when Redknapp’s football hipster replacement Andre Villas Boas (he’s very young you know, not sure if that’s been mentioned) was crouching down and refusing to clear his throat at Tottenham the club have never been as close to Champions League football as they were when Redknapp was in situ. Villas Boas achieved more points in a season, but Redknapp managed two fourth place finishes, and in the twisted modern world of sport, fourth is what counts.

That niggle could potentially grow into a full blown rampage around the house smashing up the crockery if QPR were to win at the Lane on Sunday. The bookies give the newly promoted R’s no chance at all, rating them 8/1 for the win, which suggests that they too have become rather too distracted by the naked footballers and racist ex-Cardiff managers this week. QPR have, much more quietly than they did last time they were at this level, signed really well this summer and will add Leroy Fer and Mauricio Isla to a team that performed really well last week, despite the result, against Hull. Tottenham are a better team than QPR, but the gap isn’t as wide as the odds make out and this looks like the weekend coupon buster to me — usually the world’s biggest pessimist.

The one niggle for me actually goes back to QPR’s last visit here in September 2012 when the majority were similarly optimistic about Rangers’ signings and team. For an hour that day a midfield pairing of Esteban Granero and Ale Faurlin was running the show, and leading 1-0. It felt like we’d arrived. Two Spurs goals in a crazy 60 second spell turned that win into a defeat. Earlier that week Bobby Zamora had gone round Petr Cech in the last minute of a home game against Chelsea but missed the target and Rangers settled for a 0-0. Six points from those two games and who knows where that QPR team might have gone? In the end it finished dead last with four wins.

Clearly there were deep-seated problems with the team that season. Those two performances were impressive, but they’d already lost 5-0 at home to Swansea on day one and then, improbably, played even worse than that in a 1-1 draw at Norwich a week later. So let’s not pretend that six points from Spurs and Chelsea would have seen the whole thing take off. But what early wins and early points do is help relieve pressure, buy time, build spirit, increase confidence and relax everybody. QPR played well last week and lost. Do so again against Spurs and then suddenly Sunderland looks important because with Man Utd away to follow Rangers could be at risk of losing their first four games of the season and then the footballers stop throwing water over each other and start falling out, looking for excuses, forming cliques and agitating for moves.

It is, of course, ludicrous to be talking like this so early in a season, and the first person to declare a “must win” game before Christmas should be taken up to that bridge in Archway and heaved off the side. Crystal Palace lost nine of their first ten last season and finished in midtable. But this QPR team has great potential to be far more than just a relegation battler this season, and for that to be fulfilled, a few early points on the board wouldn’t go amiss.

Links >>> Travel >>> Referee >>> Interview >>> History >>> Opposition Profile >>> Betting >>> 'Arry's pre-match press knees up

Jay Bothroyd celebrates his first league goal in QPR colours at White Hart Lane in 2011/12. After being battered throughout the first half and trailing 2-0 at half time, Rangers made a pair of half time substitutions and rallied briefly thanks to Bothroyd’s header only to eventually succumb to a 3-1 defeat with Gareth Bale in outstanding form.

Sunday

Spurs are on the cusp of sealing a £10m deal for Sevilla’s Federico Fazio but that hasn’t been completed in time for him to feature on Sunday. Kyle Naughton serves a one match ban for his sending off at West Ham last week. Eric Lamela and Christian Eriksen were notable absentees from the Tottenham starting eleven in Europe on Thursday, paving the way for them to play from the beginning of this game.

Elsewhere: Sky Sports tell us they have more of the “games that matter” this season, which by definition must mean there are a whole load of games that aren’t worth bothering with. Aston Villa v Newcastle kicks off at 12.45 on Saturday.

Perhaps this is the paranoia that comes with supporting a smaller club, merely here to make up the numbers and serve as cannon fodder for the clubs people actually care about, creeping in here but the coverage of the haves vs the have nots seems to have ratcheted up another couple of levels towards the fucking ludicrous since we were last in the Premier League. I was absolutely delighted to see “Manchester United supporter” Tynchie Stryder (born in Ghana, brought up in Bow) invading a perfectly decent 50 year tribute to Match of the Day tonight and felt sure he’d have been there if he was a Southampton or Crystal Palace fan. Still, at least it might replace the fact that Sky Sports News HQ (they’ve rebadged it you fool) led with Manchester United making Wayne Rooney their captain ahead of Tony Pulis walking out on Crystal Palace the week before in my list of chief irritants this week.

Palace seem to be in a proper state now. They were clearly about to appoint Malky Mackay, who has been in the unique position this week of having to deny he’s a racist, a homophobe, a sexist and an anti-Semite, while Harry Redknapp leapt to his aid by making sure everybody knows he’s not a rapist, murderer or paedophile either. When that went spectacularly tits up they turned to Tim Sherwood, who despite achieving the square root of fuck all at Tottenham last season and boasting a managerial CV you could comfortably fit on the back of a serviette, for some reason seems to believe the likes of West Brom and Crystal Palace are beneath him. Anyway, back to square one for Steve Parish (probably should have just kept hold of Big Tone mate) and this week they host Big Fat Sam and Big Fat Sam’s Big Fat Brand of Attacking Entertaining Football.

Still, having a manager isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. West Bromwich Albion have Alan Irvine who earlier this week was delighted to confirm that his club were in talks with Greek pit pony Georgios Samaras who has made a far better living than his chronic lack of ability to find his own arse with both hands should really have allowed by decamping to Celtic and bullying St Mirren half a dozen times a season. Oddly, having technically signed a striker, West Brom now look even shorter of goals before he arrived. They’re at Southampton this week, who looked a good deal better at Liverpool last week than you might have expected given their summer departures.

Chelsea are beating Leicester 8-0 and Swansea host Burnley in a game a Sky Sports executive would probably tell you “doesn’t matter.” Likewise Hull v Stoke on Sunday.

That leaves three games that do matter. First up is Everton v Arsenal on Saturday night — the three meetings between those sides last season were utterly compelling. Then it’s Sunderland v Louis Van Gaal on Sunday, and that’s live of course as we continue to chart the Dutchman’s every move, breath and fart. And we finish up with Manchester City and Liverpool on Monday, no doubt preceded by a load of questions along the lines of “what could this mean in the context of the title race?” (two whole games in) and almost certainly followed by a load of questions along the lines of “what does this mean in the context of the title race?”

When they strap me to the chair please make them aware that the murders were just.

Referee: Anthony Taylor from Cheshire is the man in the middle for this one. Last time QPR were in the Premier League he refereed their games on three separate occasions — all ended in defeat, and Rangers failed to score a goal in any of them. Admittedly the opponents were Manchester United, Liverpool and Arsenal, and QPR were bloody dreadful that season. Last year he took charge of a 1-1 televised draw at Reading where Joey Barton equalised late in the day from a free kick. His most recent Tottenham appointment was a 3-2 home win against Southampton in March and prior to that he refereed 1-1 draws with West Brom and Hull. For more stats and his full QPR case file please click here.

Form

QPR: During their most recent stint in the Premier League, QPR’s away form was a real killer for them — that, and the chronic lack of ability, and the Jose Bosingwas and the Mark Hughes revolution. The R’s actually began life back in the top flight with three wins from their first six road trips - at Everton (1-0), Wolves (3-0) and Stoke (3-2) with the latter result lifting them as high as eighth in the league. It should be said that they were soundly beaten in the other three games in that sequence — at Wigan (2-0), Fulham (6-0) and Spurs (3-1). After that, with Neil Warnock harshly sacked, Rangers didn’t win another game on the road in 13 attempts, losing 11 of them. Warnock’s successor Mark Hughes left the club after ten months without an away win to his name in the league and in 2012/13 Rangers won only at Southampton and, memorably, at Chelsea in 19 away league matches, losing 12 of the others and drawing five. Last season in the Championship was better — eight wins — but the ten defeats suffered was in stark contrast to the other promoted sides Leicester who lost four times on their travels, and Burnley who were only beaten on three occasions away.

White Hart Lane was, traditionally, not a happy hunting ground for QPR when they were a top flight regular. Rangers have won just three of 24 visits, the last coming in 1994 when Big Devon White laid on top of goalkeeper Erik Thorstvedt and pinned him to the ground allowing Trevor Sinclair to slam in his second of the game and secure a 2-1 victory. Rangers’ top flight record in London derbies is not good, although like all stats they’re blighted by that dreadful two year spell between 2011 and 2013. Apart from the win at Chelsea QPR have drawn three and lost 12 of their last 16 Premier League London derbies. Rangers let in 11 goals from corners last season, the joint most in the Championship, and continued in that vein against Hull last weekend.

Betting: Professional odds compiler Owen Goulding tells us…

“QPR don’t have to travel far for their first away day since returning to the Premier League. A short trip north of the city sees them take on a Spurs side undergoing a mini-revolution of their own under the guidance of new boss Maurcio Pochettino. The prices on this game don’t seem right to me though…

“Tottenham are a best priced 1/2, with a massive 7/1 available for a QPR win. Yes Spurs deserve to be favourites and it may well be too soon for some of QPR's excellent recruits to take to the field but I have to admit the price on Spurs to win feels much too short. A stuttering performance in their opening game at West Ham saw Spurs claim a last gasp victory (albeit playing an hour a man down), and then again a lacklustre performance in Europe vs minnows AEL Limassol leads them to this game. Spurs lost only five games at home last season and therefore deserve favouritism here, but based on squads, the prices should be closer.

“QPR played well at times against Hull and in truth were unlucky to lose - Harry will be hopeful Rangers can get something out of the game on his return to White Hart Lane. Team news of note for QPR is that Eduardo Vargas is unlikely to start which is a great shame. Maurcio Isla and Leroy Fer should figure though- which should do wonders for the Rangers ball retention percentage. Spurs will be missing Kyle Naughton through suspension but otherwise should be at full strength, but I remain to be convinced about this new era of Spurs. They may win, but it will be closer than the prices suggest. Therefore my bet for this game, albeit not a big price, is QPR +2 on the handicap. Which means your bet wins as long as Spurs don’t win by 2 or more goals.”

Recommended bet: QPR +2 on Handicap - 8/13 - Ladbrokes.

Prediction: Reigning Prediction League champion WestonSuperR tells us…

“I thought it was a very decent performance on the opening day, a vast improvement on the start to previous campaigns and one that clearly deserved at least a point if not all three. One of the concerns I had after the match is that by failing to get our first win, or even our first goal, of the season it just adds pressure to the next few games, especially after the recent memories of the disastrous start we made to our last Premier season. Lose this and it heaps pressure onto the Sunderland game before our trip to Old Trafford and before we know it someone will claim soon we have a “must win” match.

“The 19 chances we created in the Hull game was a real positive and that stat alone makes me believe we can cause Spurs a few problems, especially if Loic Remy starts. To me Remy could be the difference between staying up and relegation, we desperately need to keep him.

“The worry must be at the back. Spurs are a good team at home, score plenty of goals and looking at our away stats for last season (eight wins and less than a goal a game) it is impossible for me to make out a case for us to get even a draw in this one. I don’t think we will be totally out-played though and do think we can get our first Premier League goal of the season.”

John’s Prediction: Spurs 2-1 QPR. First scorer: Loic Remy.

LFW’s Prediction: Spurs 1-1 QPR. First scorer: Loic Remy.

The Twitter @loftforwords

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Photo: Action Images

ichbinnaughty added 08:48 - Aug 23 "...AVB...crouching down and refusing to clear his throat..." Haha magnificent! Had me spluttering the morning cuppa reading that. Spot on Clive.
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Spiritof67 added 10:05 - Aug 23 "Murky" Mackay!
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isawqpratwcity added 17:16 - Aug 23 nice suite of previews, clive, thank you. snotty observation follows: ''...who despite achieving the square root of f*ck all...''. if you define ''f*ck all'' as being between zero and one (very arguable), then the square root of ''f*ck all'' is actually a larger number than ''f*ck all''. 1/3 times 1/3 equals 1/9. 0.4 times 0.4 equals 0.16. get it? just helping.
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CiderwithRsie added 21:21 - Aug 23 "Malky Mackay, who has been in the unique position this week of having to deny he’s a racist, a homophobe, a sexist and an anti-Semite, while Harry Redknapp leapt to his aid by making sure everybody knows he’s not a rapist, murderer or paedophile either." Fantastic stuff
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18StoneOfHoop added 11:17 - Aug 24 Funny,informed and astute effortless excellence as per usual ..meh. Some of it got me contemplating important matters pretty deeply though. Do gnats really have complicated enough thinking processes,in what passes for a brain,to ever get bored and thereby enter sedentary slumber? Food for thought. I'll give the three of you - Messrs CW,Goulding and Weston-S-R - 96.4% collectively for this par preview. Really must pull your respective fingers out,up your game and do better when assessing the Mackems.

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