Bosh returns for a final column of the season, looking back on the West Brom game and launch of the new badge.

As the season drew to a close with new look ten men Rangers captain Martin Rollthemins being sent off under the new all tackling is illegal rule Rangers backer Ernie Beckleston was left to ponder the future of the mighty R’s. Speaking in front of plans for the new directors thrown area which will take up much of the South Africa Road stand next season he looked forward to Rangers being in or amongst the challengers next season Ernie carved out the club’s vision.

“I want to see the beautiful game of my youth,” he explained. “You know, diamonds for balls, gold blocks for goal posts. Those were the days. We took a step towards a new era today in unveiling the new crest. We wanted something that said ‘rich, bling and chav’ all at the same time and the free coat of arms website we found on the internet last week did us a treat.”

The crest is certainly a departure from the current ethos and philosophy and my only reservation at Bosh Times from the fifty foot banner that was unfurled before the match was - is such a big badge going to fit on a shirt?

This came hot on the heels of an emotional pre match speech to the crowd from Fabio Bringandbuyo. For those not fortunate enough to be at the ground the following is a transcript of his short but impassioned speech.

“Wooug Offffo wod wod bo ugghhh offff a quog pag rog. Offf woggga moffff humffff offff click offfff quog nuof bohgf jaoff ooofff pag dogggu wofff.”

It was a speech that brought a tear to the eye of Chewbacca and a P45 to the hands of the club sound engineer. Obviously a new visual era rather than an audible one.

Following this call to all the galaxy’s wookies the pitch cleared and the South Africa Road side linesman’s enormous gut was brought out in a wheelbarrow flanked by police outriders, to the tune of ‘Jabba, Jabba the hut, Jabba Jabba Jabba the hut’ from his own family.

And yet despite the hope there has been some unrest in the higher ranks this week with GiGi the horseman reported to be going upstairs to the great technical box in the sky with a new and exciting coach to run the line next season. The owners have wanted a name that would attract top names but the argument as to whether that should be Zineinsane Zidane or Ghandi has led to some heated discussion behind the closed doors of the club’s new company yacht over the past few days.

Rangers can now look forward to an intriguing summer. A summer that promises many new faces and the possibility that Kieran Lee may not even be selected for training anywhere in the world. It will be a time to get the new look Rangers right, the better new faces and the brand new faces getting to a point where they should all be comfortably injured for the beginning of the next campaign.

As the final whistle blew and I said happy summer to the rather striking blonde that sits some ten rows behind me, then followed her out the stadium, drove half way across London before camping in a bush outside her bedroom window, where I am writing this quietly from, whilst also rifling through her bins for anything that may have her scent and hoping the restraining order won’t come back to bit me on the bum I was left to consider where the R’s go from here?

The future does look bright. In the event we don’t win promotion next year we now have the financial power to shut down the Premiership and any of the teams that finish above us next season. No one is going to get past our players if they wear badges as big as the ones we saw today and if a side comes to Loftus Road and dares to take the lead the directors in the South Africa Road thrown will have the power to send in the lions and give the daunting ‘off with their heads’ thumbs down for any goal mouth insubordination. We will have our own CollR’seum for sure and that will put off a great deal of teams trekking over to West London, if we haven’t had them shut down and turned into Nandos restaurants.

With Rangers set to become a global brand there is little more for me to do than bid everyone a fine summer as I retire to the park to read my QPR thriller novel, eat my QPR shaped crisps whilst listening to Danish band QPR on my blue and white hooped Rpod with a nice long cool glass of Chateaux Rangers 1882 to wash it all down. Bosh Times returns next season in a gold crested font on a nest of virtual diamond word doc paper. Uh, have to go now, blonde’s just come out the shower and dialled 999 on her mobile.

Bosh Times

Photo: Action Images

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