The dark side of the goals — knee jerks
Sunday, 17th May 2015 20:48 by Antti Heinola

An unsurprising first half followed by a totally unexpected second as QPR beat a dreadful Newcastle side - at least Antti Heinola was glad he turned up for the reading of the last rites.

Ramsey gets a Reaction

I think at the very least we all have plenty of reservations about Chris Ramsey being given the job full time. But there's one thing you can say about him: he's done a far better job than the best coach in the Premier League, John Carver. Before you laugh, John is the ten-time champion of the Best Coach in the Country contest, held every summer at Center Parcs in the New Forest. Tasks include: how loud you can shout 'If in doubt, boot it out!'; how quickly you can gather 15 training balls into a big net; and a multi-choice exam on cones, cone placement and cone technology.

Yes, we have been dull and one dimensional at times, yes Ramsey was criminally cautious v West Ham and yes we capitulated last week. But there have been some encouraging signs too - the organisation v Chelsea, points and goals on the road… And, on Saturday, when we were already down and playing pretty appallingly, he got a reaction from the players after the break. He gambled with the subs and with played what at times looked like a 4-2-4, giving Fer and Phillips much more freedom, and it worked. We were a different side, deserved the win and that at least shows that the players are willing to fight for the coach.

That doesn't mean I necessarily think he's the right person. It was nice to see him gamble, but it would have been nicer to see that spirit against West Ham. Still, I was encouraged that he still wrung something out of this side, even if it was against truly dire opposition. Speaking of which...

Newcastle are worse than us

At one point in the second half when one of Newcastle's players, possibly Sissoko, played a pass so poor that it wasn't within 20 metres of a Newcastle player and just ballooned into Row H of the Ellerslie, my friend mumbled: 'There's something wrong here.' And as I watched Newcastle's various pathetic attempts to get back into the game, including no less than three shots that made it to the upper tier of the School End, I had to agree. Either they are the worst (and, as things stand, the luckiest) team in the league, or their players were actively trying not to equalise. I mean, we all were furious about last week's capitulation at Man City - but that score was at least down to honest incompetence. Newcastle's uselessness, at times, almost appeared to be deliberate.

Newcastle were an utter disgrace in the second half. Perhaps the most amazing moments came right near the end. Twice Newcastle had corners and I watched Tim Krul gesture as to whether he should get into the box. He looked at the bench, he got the signal to stay put, he shrugged. I mean, what was going on there? You're losing to QPR (QPR!) in a game you really need to take at least something from. What was Carver worried about? Losing 3-1 instead of 2-1? Hull's goal difference is already far better than Newcastle's, so what was the problem? Equally, when we had late corners, every single Newcastle player was back in the box, with no outlet at all should they have cleared the ball. Utterly flabbergasting.

I have never really bought into the Toon Army nonsense - before Keegan turned up first time around they were only getting 12,000 gates - they're not like Man City who had 30,000 turning up even in League One. But still, they don't deserve this - no one does. It actually made me just a bit grateful to be a QPR fan. Things are awful for us - but they're worse at the Sports Direct Circus. Their dreadfulness has allowed some pretty ordinary teams to escape - Sunderland must not be able to believe their luck and Villa, for all the plaudits for Timmy, have really only just staggered over the line. Hull are rubbish - but they probably deserve to send this shower down next week.

Newcastle's goal

Well, there's another one to add to our ample collection of embarrassing goals conceded this season. Stephen Caulker will take the majority of the blame, having looked at Riviere, looked at the ball, looked at Riviere, looked at the ball and then decided to leave both the ball and Riviere, but there were other issues there too. We have been vulnerable to this direct ball over the top down the middle all season. We must have conceded maybe ten goals in this manner (we almost did again in the second half when Clint Hill inexplicably let the ball bounce in his own box) - and it hasn't mattered who's playing centre back - Caulker, Dunne, Rio or Onuoha - they've all been equally susceptible to it.

On this occasion Caulker wasn't helped by Dunne, who, in a display that brought to mind his worst performances in the second half of last season, was two or three yards behind the rest of the defence, allowing Riviere to run into no-man's land and still remain comfortably onside. Meanwhile, as great as Green has been this season, his reluctance to ever emerge much further than his six yard box means there's always a corridor of uncertainty between defenders and keeper. With all that going on, this is what you get.

Caulker has been a massive disappointment since that incident at Christmas, whatever it was. On Saturday he looked bereft of confidence and unsure of how to defend - veering between standing off and allowing Newcastle to attack and going in far too aggressively and giving away silly fouls. To take him off at half time was a mercy killing. But I still believe he is a decent player - I've said it before and I'll say it again - the defence is less about individuals and much more about organisation. Arsenal's famed back four were individually not incredible players, but as a four (or a five, with Seaman) they were superb. It was instructive to read in the programme Darren Peacock talking about how Gerry Francis drilled the defence until they were dreaming about the drills in their sleep. And that's what Gerry now does for Pulis wherever he goes. That is what we need and have needed for some time. Even with Newcastle being utter tripe, we still looked vulnerable and awkward - that goal, scored by a man without a Premier League goal in 18 hours, only emphasises that point. Something to look at next season.

Fer's goal

For a team going down without ever really looking like we might stay up, we have scored our fair share of crackers this season. Not since the Championship winning year, or maybe Buzsaky's season under De Canio, have we scored quite so many stunners. I still think, for pure distance, Phillips' goal at Palace just edges out this one, but it's not far off. It's a clichÃ© to say that a shot almost blew the net away, but in this case Fer really did almost blow the net away - it lifted the net up from its moorings. It was like a canon. I am not sure I have ever seen a ball hit quite so hard - Krul, a very good keeper who must have seen it early, wasn't even close. Tremendous technique and power. Moments like that are why I love this game. I know Fer can be frustrating at times, but I honestly believe that had he not been injured we would be going into next week's game with a tiny chance of staying up. His goals and his quality just give us that extra edge.

Dark side of the goals

While it was great to see one beautifully worked goal and another absolute thunderbolt, the dark side was the players involved: Fer, Phillips and Austin. It said much for the attitude of these three that while they must be fairly sure they won't be at Loftus Road next season, they worked their arses off after half time to drag us back into the game. In the first half we did look like a collection of players who were already thinking about their next club, but after the break it was different and you had to admire the endeavour and the quality.

The fans sang, 'Charlie Austin, we want you to stay,' but I didn't join in because truthfully I don't want him to stay and he shouldn't stay. He is a Premier League player and while I love loyalty, he absolutely cannot waste a season with us dogging about in the Championship. He needs to go, he should go, and I hope he gets the right move to the right club. I'd love Phillips to stay and I think we have a small chance of holding onto him for one more year, but he'll probably be snaffled up. And I suspect we'll want to sell Fer because of his wages and there will probably be a taker somewhere. So there was a bittersweet feeling to those goals.

Yun traps the ball on the halfway line

When Newcastle threatened to break from a late corner of ours, I was very pleased for Yun when he trapped the ball comfortably on the centre spot. That could have been nasty.

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dixiedean added 18:29 - May 18

Thanks Antti- I've enjoyed your knee jerk reports. Agree re Caulker- there is a decent player in there but he needs to get his confidence back and have a decent & regular partner alongside him. His best recent form was alongside Ned. I don't think anyone knows where they are with Dunne as they never know what he's going to do next. We really should not be signing him again next season, any more than we should have signed him & BZ this season ( although I think Dunne had some trigger clause if he played sufficient games last season , so that might have been forced on us. ) Let's get a couple of centre backs who are 25 not 35.