Fresh from a Tuesday night of torment at the hands of Stuart Attwell, QPR now have to contend with their old foe Trevor Kettle at Ipswich on Saturday.

Ipswich Town v Queens Park Rangers
Referee: Trevor Kettle (Berkshire)
Assistants – Lee (Essex) and Martin (Northamptonshire)
Fourth Official – Jerden (Essex)
There’s been much said and written over the past few days about young Mr Attwell whose handling of QPR v Birmingham on Tuesday night really had to be seen to be believed. Since then of course QPR have not only had their appeal against the ridiculous red card shown to Mikele Leigertwood thrown out but the player has had his ban extended because the FA said “the appeal was never likely to succeed.” Why wasn’t it? Because somebody had looked at the video? Or because somebody had a look down the list, saw it was Attwell in charge and knew they had to back him up regardless?

You see Attwell’s face fits down at the FA at the moment. He’s only 25, and hasn’t even been refereeing in the Football League for 18 months yet, but already they have accelerated him through the programme so that he’s now, incredibly, taking charge of Premiership games despite the lack of experience. For whatever reason the league has decided that fast tracking this young man to a level way beyond one that his ability and experience can handle at the moment is a good idea.

I’m told that he finished top of the assessment marks for three three month periods running last season. Well done to him. It doesn’t mean he’s ready yet. The news this week that he’s been put forward for the FIFA list by our FA is almost as big a joke as following up his botched handling of three of his last four games – Watford v Reading, Tranmere v Crewe and QPR v Birmingham – with the Derby v Forest appointment on Sunday.

Both QPR and Tranmere had appeals thrown out without even being heard this week for red cards issued by Attwell in games that have come just three weeks after he awarded Reading a goal that didn’t actually go anywhere near the goal at Vicarage Road. The authorities are definitely hell bent on backing their man, but it’s time for them to be fair to him.

That Reading incident would affect any official for a long time to come – Attwell looked uncertain in almost everything he did at Loftus Road and relied on guesswork far too often. He shouldn’t even be doing QPR v Birmingham 14 months into his career anyway, he should be learning his trade lower down, but even allowing for that he should have been given months, not days, off after that Watford incident to make sure he was ready to return, and then built back up to Championship level slowly.

To just sling him straight back in at the deep end and then stand with fingers in ears shouting ‘la la la la la’ as appeals and protests about his handling of matches and cards issued start to pour in is irresponsible of the authorities and risk ruining the young man’s career. I honestly cannot believe he’s got Derby and Forest on Sunday, but then I can’t believe Mikele Leigertwood is sitting out for four and a half games for something that was barely a yellow card. But he is. Incidentally Danny Guthrie served a game less for his malicious, pre meditated, nasty leg breaking tackle against Hull earlier this season. Leigertwood gets a game more for daring to say that his decision might be worth another look.

Things probably aren’t about to get a lot better for QPR on the match officials front – no sooner have we recovered from the whistle blower’s antics on Tuesday night than our old foe Trevor Kettle comes lumbering into view on the horizon – card already in hand. He’s like a fussy old woman this bloke, a real pain in the backside, and I’m really hoping he pulls a hamstring or something in the warm up on Saturday before he gets a chance to get his incompetent hands all over this match, which looks like it could be a halfway decent one on paper.

So far this season Kettle has shown 30 yellows (2.72 a game) and two reds in 11 matches – only two of those, Swansea v Wolves and Southampton v Watford, have been in the Championship but with five yellows shown in each he’s well above average for his games at this level so far. Last season he showed an astonishing 145 yellows (4.027 a game) and six reds in 36 matches. That included 14 yellows in his two QPR matches – against Charlton at home and Preston away. Needless to say his marks on this site have never been great – we may as well cut straight to the history of Kettle and QPR now before my head explodes.

Referee Trevor Kettle (Rutland) 3 Neutral fans may as well not bother going to games when this guy is in charge. If you could bring together eleven of the greatest Brazilian players of all time in their prime and eleven of the greatest Argentinean players of all time in their prime he would still turn a game between the two into a stop start load of old rubbish and bore the tits off you. The whistle is never out of his mouth. Everything is a foul. Every aerial challenge between two players trying to win a header is a foul. Every coming together on the ground is a foul. Every shoulder push is a foul. Every piece of physical contact is a foul. Every foul is a card - seven yellow cards in this one and really only Mawene and Stewart deserved them. Seven yellow cards in a game with two fouls. Whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle until you just can't stand it any more. To make matters worse still he was assisted by an abysmal linesman who gave some quite perplexing decisions in favour of Preston on the night. I hate this referee simply because I know however much I've paid to get in will be a waste. If he'd been in charge of Liverpool 4 Newcastle 3 it would have finished 0-0. LFW Preston Match Report

Referee: Trevor Kettle (Rutland) 4 As detailed above, a poor official. Really badly positioned for just about every decision he has to make and another seven yellow cards shown – of which I’d say only three or four were just. So many of the cards he hands out are for dissent at decisions he’s made a mess of. LFW Charlton Match Report

A low average mark of 3.5/10 then, and 33rd on the referee league. Kettle's last Ipswich game was a 2-0 victory over West Brom at Portman Road midway through last season, he also did their 4-1 home win against Coventry. More bad omens.

He was even worse the season before though when, in two QPR games, he managed to allow Southampton a goal after a challenge on the keeper and then disallow a QPR one in identical circumstances and then book just about every player on the pitch, and a few people in the stand as well, in a comedic display against Stoke City at Loftus Road. An average rating of 1.5 landing him very firmly in last place on the league ladder that season.

Ref: T Kettle (Berkshire) 2 Incompetence of the worst kind because it only affected one of the teams. Incompetence that goes against both sides is forgivable because referees are only human but the goal that was and the goal that wasn't were a disgrace to the refereeing profession. How can there be any justification for that decision? All we ask for is consistency. This useless idiot probably couldn't even spell the word. Scandalous. LFW Southampton Match Report

Referee: T Kettle (Berkshire) 1 A quite astonishing display of refereeing. Mr Kettle, people have not paid £28 to watch you handing out cards. Put your ego away and do try and let the game flow. Of the eleven cards shown I'd say six or seven of them could have been dealt with by having a quiet word on the run or just calming things down. Booked early for very little to put himself under pressure and then just spiralled out of control. QPR of course get fined now by the authorities - there should only be one party being punished after this shower and it certainly isn't our club. A staggering level of incompetence from him for the second time this season. Unbelievably bad. LFW Stoke Match Report

Kettle’s highest ever mark from this website is a five – for his handling of a 1-1 draw between the R’s and Derby at Loftus Road in 2005/06.

Ref: T Kettle (Berkshire) 5 Apparently well-known for loving a card he got his wish two minutes from time when Moore harshly got his marching orders. He did manage to only produce two yellows though and let the game flow during the first half. Become too involved in the second half and disrupted play too much. LFW Derby match Report

Just by way of comparison, in the three and a bit seasons since the referee leagues started on this website Kettle has shown 442 yellow cards. In that same period of time, and over a very similar number of matches, Mark Halsey has shown has shown 265.

Normally at the end of this column I tell you where all the other known lunatics are this weekend but as we’re sadly about to be subjected to Trevor Kettle ourselves it’s sort of missing its headline act. Interesting to see Alan Wiley down in League One, although with it being Brighton v Millwall they may have just gone for an experienced official to try and keep a lid on things. Richard Beeby, Peterborough v Hereford, and Lee Probert, Rotherham v Wycombe, are the other elite league officials relegated to lower divisions this weekend although in fairness those two are elite officials in name and their own minds only.

Photo: Action Images

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