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Luongo, Polter, and the second coming of Caulker — Knee Jerks
Monday, 8th Aug 2016 18:48 by Antti Heinola

We've had better opening days, but not many. Antti Heinola returns to run the rule over QPR's 3-0 season opener against Leeds.

Bang Average

On my way home, a despondent Leeds fan said to his mate: 'The worst part of it is, QPR are bang average.'

Few clichéd phrases irk me more than the insulting 'bang average' - partly because I'm not entirely sure what it means, but mainly because I've heard football fans apply it to pretty much every team and manager on earth, including Pep Guardiola, Real Madrid and even Germany. It's stupid because for something to be 'average' there must be better things out there and worse too (unless everything is the same, which it isn't) - while there are complaints about hyperbole by Sky and the like, sometimes fans seem unimpressed by almost anything.

So, it's a stupid phrase, but as Clive pointed out in his preview, it is a phrase that last season suited QPR probably more than any other team around. Mid-table, mid-ranking, never brilliant, but never awful. They really were bang average.

But were they bang average on Sunday? I can see where he was coming from. We never looked brilliant, there were no moves that took your breath away or Taarabt-like pieces of skill, or superb free kicks. However, to be bang average you need to be average everywhere - doing just enough, but not too much. Able to win, but eminently beatable too. At least in this game, that phrase was a nonsense because for all our lack of flamboyance, we did many things not just with competence, but with excellence.

Unlike Leeds, QPR had a plan. Unlike Leeds, QPR players to a man knew their role in the team exactly (witness Kemar Roofe's hopeful drifting and swapping of wings to absolutely no discernible effect). Unlike Leeds, QPR worked their arses off for 90 minutes, closing down brilliantly, winning more tackles higher up the pitch, refusing the opposition space and then becoming compact and difficult to break through every time Leeds approached our box. Unlike Leeds, QPR made chances and scored goals - and could've had more. Unlike Leeds, QPR had a good, confident goalkeeper. Unlike Leeds, QPR looked both fit and ready - their opponents appeared as under-cooked as the sushi I had for lunch on Friday.

There was nothing 'bang average' about this performance. Solid, yes. Functional, yes. But also immensely heartening, full of 7/10 performances and higher, with a strong defence allied to a genuinely threatening attack.

QPR will have much harder tests than Leeds this season, but when you are often a gift like Leeds and you go out and get a 3-0 win, that most satisfying of scores, it is not bang average at all.

Massimo Luongo

A year ago I was writing these Knee Jerks and lavishing praise on our Aussie international after a good performance in a not-great overall display away at Charlton (a result that looks much worse now than it did then, and a lesson about not getting too carried away by an opening day result. Like pre-season friendlies, it's nice to win them, but ultimately they rarely mean much). Sadly, his season didn't pan out the way I hoped.

He struggled to get game time under JFH, and was apparently close to leaving on loan at one stage. Dave Mc, who I'm sure is in daily contact with Hasselbaink's brain, told Twitter that he 'doesn't fancy him'. And yet Mass worked hard, got back into the side, and, with Borysuik injured and Cousins er... rested? he was given a start here. JFH's reward was arguably Mass's best performance for us since his arrival. Strong, combative, quick-thinking, good passing. But, perhaps strangely for him, it was his tackling that caught the eye - I don't think he gave a foul away, but he must have won the ball back at least six or seven times, and at least three of those were really superb, hard, crunching tackles. And, of course, it was his lung-busting run back and expert challenge that put us on a counter-counter attack to claim the penalty that killed the game.

Many more performances like this and JFH will have some tough decisions. If we assume that Cousins and Borysuik were to be his preferred midfield two, he may now be less sure. Tempered with that, though, was the fact that Leeds for some reason gifted the middle of the park to Henry and Luongo. Both had very good games, but there were acres of space in there that Leeds simply let us dominate. Again, tougher challenges await, but you can only play what's in front of you and both of them had very good games.

The back five

Much to talk about in the defence, so I had to chuck them all in one Jerk. Apart from the one chance that Antonsson missed, and a bit of pinball near the end, you could hardly fault these five. True, Leeds were not much of a threat, but that was mainly because the defence, and significantly the players in front right up to Polter, didn't allow them to be a threat.

Bidwell looks hard as iron - the lovely bit where the enormous (and useless) Chris Wood tried to barge into him only to bounce off him in the first half was particularly pleasing - and while not exactly Dani Alves going forward, you know straight away that if he stays injury free, he'll be absolutely fine there all season. Good luck Jack Robinson.

Nedum Onuoha had a very decent game - barring a lashed shot over the bar when he should've scored following a classic Greeno flap - particularly because Gladwin's defensive cover was more Matt Phillips than Andy Impey. Smithies didn't have a shot to save, but did everything else well, as we've come to expect. Hall was dominant and strong, the nervousness and indecision from towards the end of last season apparently banished.

And then there was the new signing next to him, the svelte centre half who looked oddly familiar: Steven Caulker. Or, at least, half of Steven Caulker. I'm not sure I've ever seen a body transformation on a footballer like it. True, he was never troubled, but this was a strong, determined, sensible, unfussy display, topped with a lovely lay-off that led to the penalty. I'm sure Clive will be mentioning something about club suits, so I won't do it here, but I just have. Sorry. You get the gist. Either he's going to be a great player for us this season, or he'll be gone in three weeks. Not sure which.

Subs

Our squad does still look a little thin. The chances of us having big impact subs this season, especially once injuries creep in, looks low. But we certainly had it on Sunday. JFH took some stick for reacting slowly with his subs last season, but here his first two subs came at the right time (although you could harshly argue both could have happened five or ten minutes earlier) and both had positive effects. Cousins in particular had a great impact, being a marked improvement on Gladwin both tracking back and getting forward. Like Bidwell, Cousins feels like a really good signing. Strong on the ball, pacy, tenacious. And of course, his skill drew a reckless foul for the penalty.

Equally, while Shodipo had a good first half, showing control, skill, positional sense and also that he's capable of slinging a decent cross in, he was getting tired after the break (and feeling his hamstring) and after one particularly meaty challenge the time was right for everyone's favourite footballing scarecrow, Nasser El Khayati to come on. And we got we always get from Nasser: bewildering decision-making followed by borderline genius. His break into the box before shooting from a silly angle when Caulker was crying out for a simple pull-back, followed by a trademark curling effort that had Greeno scrambling to palm it away.

To use JFH's parlance, as I like to, Nasser is what he is: a genuine impact sub, someone to bring on that can panic the opposition - and also his own team-mates - but someone who also works hard and is almost guaranteed to make something happen.

Polti

A little like Nasser, last season saw Polti oscillate between appearing really quite good and looking like that couldn't tell his shin from his foot. But there was none of that yesterday. He just looked like a good player. Scored one, could have had two but for the post and worked his Teutonic testicles off for the entire 90 minutes.

I remember When Sunderland beat Man City (I think) in one of their numerous late-season resurrections, that Lee Cattermole threw up after the game finished because he had run so hard. Now that's a bit much, but Polti looked in a similar state after 90 minutes here, collapsing after clearly having left it all on the pitch. His exhaustion only made his richly deserved goal even more remarkable. As Leeds gave up and Rangers wound down, he saw a chance to grab himself a goal through persistence, pace, strength and finally skill with a fearsome strike into the top corner. He was shattered, but there was a goal for the taking, so he took it. Brilliant.

Our two main scorers both off the mark after one game - that's always nice, and that unlikely partnership continues to grow. Love him.

Greeno

I thought our fans were fair to him overall, but a little cruel at times (although I of course joined in the Greeno chants when we scored after four minutes). I'm glad there was no booing though and he seemed to take it all in good spirits. But it was further confirmation that we absolutely have a better keeper now.

Greeno's familiar slices into the South Africa Road stand under minimal pressure were there once more, as was his uncertain nature in the box and unpredictable choices regarding coming off his line. Tellingly, he got one evil stare from his centre back near the end of the game when he failed to collect a ball that the defender was forced to smash with frustration out for a corner. The Leeds back four will have to get used to that. Even his best save, from Nasser's 20-yarder, was unconvincingly parried back into the danger area and he was fortunate to see it cleared.

And, of course he was all over the place for our first goal. I had feared he'd play a blinder and prove all my points about his failings wrong, but I needn't have worried. On Twitter I saw that he's had two league debuts at LR now - the results being 0-5 and 0-3.

A great bloke but his decline as a keeper continues apace. But that's Leeds' problem, not ours.

Pictures — Action Images

Photo: Action Images



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