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A Mobile Journey
at 11:05 31 Oct 2014

What's fu(king wrong with people? Do they deliberately go out of their way to be utter (unts? well do they?

He seem a nice chap in the car servicing show room. Well groomed, with a hair cut that had been scalped off a XFactor wannabe. But being a sleek good looking tvvat isn't something to be ridiculed. I had to wait. Then it happened, he used his mobile. Now it wasn't that he brought out a top of the range phone making mine look like a flaccid member, it's the way he conducted his fu(king call. He pressed some button on his phone and held it out in front of his face like it was an extension of his friggin chin. I have seen this technique on that Apprentice program. The BBC has got a lot to answer for in my fu(king opinion. Not only does it make you look like a monumental prick, I don't really want to listen to your 'wacky' mate. Our Simon Cowell clone could see that I was less than impressed (a stare can say so much) so fortunately took his phone call outside, which was a good job as I don't think the hands free would of been much use with the phone firmly wedged up his fu(king crack. Maybe he should have one of those blue tooth ear pieces for such occasions? The utter (unt.

Speaking of the X Factor. You'll not be surprised that I'm not the greatest fan of this (untfest. But some of the language used on this utter sh1t tip of a program is now being used in every day speak and it's up to us as human beings to banish this swill from our beautiful English language. It is not a fu(king 'journey'. It's just fu(king not. An 'experience' maybe, but a journey it is not. If it stayed on the X Factor we'd be safe but like Ebola in West Africa, it's spreading and in the pub last week I over heard a scroaty pleb using it ...'we may have split up but it's been a journey...' Fu(k me. Seems the spurned other half of this relationship had, had a close escape. Then again I would imagine the other half would be in another pub explaining that 'they had found their self over the last month'. I should have spared any unhappiness for future 'halves' by smashing a stool over her head but then I would have been having a friggin journey to the clink.

Maybe she'll get back with he fu(king journey companion. Let's hope it's that fu(king (unt who has a mobile phone for a fu(king chin. If it's two (unts together does it make them lesbians?

Yours in anger.
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#Angry
at 16:16 1 Aug 2014

Well I'm back and life is just one long precession of annoying f*ckers trying to make my life more unbearable than the day before.

I was watching an advert trailer for one of these really sh*tty Made in Chelsea, The only way is to be a Southern dick, type programmes. Now I'm not one to stand in the way of technology, and I have been known to use the social media that is called Twitter. But during this unbearable advert for the program, one of the f*cking fat heiferlumps when they mentioned they could follow the said tw*tfest on Twitter, did this four fingered hash tag sign, that made me want to reach through the screen and squeeze every bit of talent from this smug smiling balloon (granted that wouldn't take long). It's bad enough that the kids are starting to say sh*t like "hashtag, just saying", but now it seems that saying 'hashtag' is not enough and it has to have its own hand signal, as if being an utter cock isn't sufficient, you have to tell the deaf you are one too. If you read this and know of anyone who does this hand signal, break their fingers to spare their future embarrassment.

I've got enough to get angry about without this shit on TV, f*cking X-Factor is on the horizon. I don't know why they don't just trawl hospital wards looking for people who are unfortunately just about to leave this mortal coil, who can put together a half decent rendition of 'Angels'. Instead, some of some tw*t from Newcastle whose 'Mam, died last year, and she was my rock', kind of utter prick. Suffice to say I'll be giving this sh*t a wide berth, no doubt the adverts will have Cheryl Cole or whatever doing that friggin hashtag finger sign.

X-Factor, TV to keep plebs, bell ends and half wits out of pubs on a Saturday night.

Wheelie bins eh. F*cking great invention, so council workers do less, whilst we pay more. But that's not my gripe, ooooh no. I was walking round a rather salubrious part of Rochdale (they exist, if you look hard enough), and I spotted that some utter tool had covered their wheelie bin in plastic to make it look like a load of leaves. What has the f*cking world come to? Is the sight of a dark green bin too much for the neighbourhood?

'We can't have that monstrosity out near the BM, Felicity, what will next door think? Let's get some sticky plastic and make it look like a hedge'

F*ck me. I really do think money is wasted on the rich. Bet they cover up the bog roll in the sh*tter, with one of those knitted dolls. Dicks.


Yours in anger.


PS - the swear filter is a f*cking disgrace.
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