It has been revealed that to boost sales of its scratchcards amongs't football fans, the National Lottery will launch a new Luke Shaw scratchcard next Tuesday.

Sure to be popular with Premier league managers and supporters of Chelsea & Manchester City the idea behind the scratchcard is simple, you have to scratch off 3 of the 6 footballs shown on the card to reveal the name of football clubs, if those three clubs, match clubs that Luke Shaw has been linked with on the day of purchase then you win the amount shown when you scratch off the winnings box.

Senior mathematicians have expressed doubt that the Lotto fund can sustain potential prize winnings, the chances of getting six numbers on the normal lottery are said to be 14,000,000,000/1 roughly the chances of a Pompey fan admitting that the criteria to judge how good a Club's support is should be average attendance and not the decibel level of two scantily dressed men with tattoo's banging a drum and blowing a bugle with no discernible tune.

But the chances of winning on the Luke Shaw scratch card are discernibly higher, on any given day Luke is linked with around 76 clubs worldwide so matching 3 of those will have drastically lower odds than those mentioned above, if we take them to be 3/76 to put that in perspective that is the odds currently being offered by Ladbrokes for John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood to shout the word "Scummahhhhhh" 60 times in a 30 minute documentary about the QE2.

Of course the chances will be much higher, firstly it should be noted that 76 clubs in one day is only an average number rather than the maximum, over the past six months Luke has been linked with a far higher number, so many in fact the average pocket calculator cannot deal with them but a swift guess would say 14, 657 clubs spread over 118 countries Worldwide.

Top prize will be £100,000,000 which in English I think should be £100 million and will be payable in installments based on appearances by Luke for his new club.

This card replaces the previously popular "Ashley Cole Scratchcard" where buyers had to match 3 supermodels that Cole had been linked with in the tabloid media with a bonus "ball" of a Girl Band member he hasn't allegedly been linked with.

The only drawback to these new cards are the price, £30 million per card is thought to be out of the reach of most so not many are expected to be sold

Photo: Action Images

cheltenhamsaint added 21:36 - Mar 26 I've never bought a lottery ticket Nick but I would buy one of these. Really glad that you can bring a huge sense of humour to the rumour.
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davepid added 08:18 - Mar 28 And what are the odds of Pompey remaining a football league side this May?
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