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Luke Shaw Off In Only One Direction
Tuesday, 1st Apr 2014 09:11

Saints teenage England starlet has been linked with a move to most of the Countries top clubs, but all of them are shocked this morning as his destination for next season has been revealed by his agent.

Saints fans have been keeping their fingers crossed that Luke Shaw will see the benefit's of staying at St Mary's and learning his trade before moving on to a so called big club, but even the most ardent Saints fan is shocked and stunned this morning to discover just where Luke Shaw will be playing next season, Luke is heading in only one direction and that is One Direction itself.

One benefit of writing this website/fanzine for 25 years is that you pick up a lot of contacts along the way, in not only the football industry but the world of music itself and i was surprised to be invited to a press conference this morning in central London by Simon Cowell himself.

So I found myself in a room in a top hotel at 9am this morning wondering what the hell this was all about and why i was there, firstly boy band One Direction emerged and Cowell himself announced that the band were to get another member, this caused a hum in the room and then gasps from the assorted hacks when Luke Shaw suddenly appeared from behind the curtain, I suddenly realised why I had been invited, it wasnt just another of Simon's attempts to try and get me to front a more mature version of One Direction, this was Saints related.

Cowell then went on to explain that although the band were massive on both sides of the Atlantic, they did not want to sit on their laurels and if they were to stay at the top then they needed to keep progressing, he had decided to get a major sports star into the band, he had considered David Beckham but he was too old, Wayne Rooney was also in the frame but had commitments for the next Shrek movie, Luke Shaw fitted the bill perfectly.

Shaw then nervously stepped up to the microphone.

"I used to bump into Harry (Styles) in town a lot and we used to joke that perhaps we should do a job swap, one week he should play for Saints and i should do a gig with One Direction, Simon got wind of our joshing and Simon being Simon soon he had an idea"

By now the cameras where flashing and questions were coming thick and fast.

Does this mean the end of your football career Luke ? - "No I have spoken to Mauricio Pochettino's interpreter and he hasn't got a problem with it, Katharina has always had a soft spot for Louis in the band and she saw it as a great chance to promote the club and bring in new fans."

How will you fit in both careers ? - " The idea is that I work with One Direction from Sunday to Thursday and then train with Saints on Friday and play Saturday, fitness wont be a problem due to the high energy dance routines that I will be doing with 1D"

Have you always been a fan of the band ? -" I was when they were on X factor because I was still at school but my tastes are more thrash metal, Im hoping that we can work a few Megadeth covers into the set. "

What do your team mates think ? "They are cool with it, Adam was dead jealous, he has been growing a beard and i think he was thinking of forming a boy band himself with J Rod and JWP, they sing to themselves in the showers a lot and i think they feel their thunder has been stolen."

When will you start with the band ? - That depends on Roy Hodgson, if I go to Brazil then the idea is that I try to fit in the odd gig over there but really get started when I come back, Roy is fine with this he is a big Punk fan and goes to a lot of gigs with Stuart Pearce, this isnt his sort of thing but he has promised to come along and watch me if i get him on the guest list, the FA see this as perhaps the only way they could sell shirts at £90 a pop.

Simon Cowell then intervened and said the band would now perform for the first time as a six piece, I dont know many 1D songs but I believe the first was called Story of my Life, Luke didnt sing much on this one, just stood at the back and danced a bit joining in on the chorus's, then they played something called Best Song Ever, Luke was more prominent on this one and really showed why Simon Cowell thinks that this will take the band into new territories.

This finished off the formal part of the presser, then it was drinks and canapes and I thought I had better start to get this story up on the site, but suddenly I was grabbed by Simon who was buzzing, he told me he had been impressed with how easy it had been to deal with Saints and that he had plans for Mauricio Pochettino, he was going to put together a sort of Argentinian/ Spanish Pet Shop Boys type of act, Pochettino would be the silent one at the back whilst his interpreter would do all the singing, watch this space he chirped as he went off to flirt with another part of the room.

Quite frankly I was shocked but perhaps not surprised by this turn of events, footballers have tried to become popstars before, but never really in this sort of way and make a career out of it, this will start an avalanche of Premier stars joining bands, the whisper around the room was that Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr would be reforming the Beatles for one last gig with perhaps the only two Scousers in the World big enough to fill Lennon & Harrison's shoes, Jamie Carragher & Steven Gerrard.

Photo: Action Images



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SaintlyTim added 10:39 - Apr 1
Shame, but on the plus side, perhaps we can see him perform at St. Mary's
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legod7 added 12:34 - Apr 1
Hopefully the Saints players read this. What a lot of stick LS will get if they do.
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BoondockSaint added 16:07 - Apr 1
Luke was at a One Direction party when Simon Cowell showed up at the door with Nicola Cortese.
Harry Styles muttered "Great! Now we have to put up with that self-centered ego-maniac!"
Luke replied: "No only that, he's brought Simon Cowell with him!"
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ChristchurchSaint added 19:57 - Apr 1
Thank you Nick. Your tongue in cheek humour does brighten up our tedious lives where we keep hearing about how "Big clubs" will click their fingers and our highly rated players will just demand to released from their contracts at our "Tiny" club and join the bright lights of London, Manchester etc. It was great today to read Luke Shaw saying that he is not fazed by it at all and all he wants is to help us progress to greater things. Loyalty at last!!
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chiselborosaint added 05:02 - Apr 2
Nice one Nic, had me going there for a minute.
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