The Premier League have inadvertently leaked that from season 2016/17 Pompey could well be officially Saints feeder club. The file codenamed "Usquequaque In Sanctus Umbra" is incendiary.

Football supporters have been aware that the Premier League has been working alongside the Football League and Football Association over recent years and has been considering how to implement a plan where struggling clubs in the lower leagues be effectively twinned with bigger clubs both in the Premier league and Championship to effectively become their feeder club.

When the authorities started to consider this plan 5 years ago the original idea had been to twin Saints with Bournemouth, however the Cherries rise up the leagues to where they stand today on the brink of the Premier League meant a re think had to be done and quickly.

Many clubs in the region were considered, indeed the Premier League secretly polled Pompey fans leaving a recent away fixture at Accrington and of the 215 in attendance, 25% said they were already considering switching allegiance to Saints, a further 15% said they already had but had yet to tell their friends and families, 30% had no opinion either way, leaving just 50% who spat on the ground at the very mention, which was indeed much down on recent years (NB I know the poll adds up to 120% but that Pompey for you, they even have to exaggerate their polls)

But it all came down to which club would be best suited to this sort of arrangement, Aldershot, Crawley Town, Eastleigh even Swindon Town were all considered, but whatever way the authorities looked at it, only one contender met all the criteria of needing to be

1. Financially Unstable,
2. Unable to produce players through their youth system
3. Ramshackle Ground
4. A good supply of Tumbleweed

There was originally a 5th criteria of not having delusional fans, however the authorities scrapped this and felt that 4 out 5 wasn't bad and indeed was one better than Meatloaf.

The "twinning" of both clubs would see Saints be responsible for overseeing Pompey and helping them out with everything from loaning them players to advice on keeping the ground in good condition.

So last summer the Pompey Supporters Trust was approached and top secret talks were commenced, of course initially the PST were hostile to the idea, but when shown documents relating to the last 55 years, they knew they had little ground to argue on and took the stance that it was better to work with the football authorities to get the best deal for Pompey, especially when they realised that they had no more car park space to sell to their high net worth supporters to build supermarkets on.

It now has been revealed that most of the PST's demands have been met and that an "official" announcement is imminent, we can now leak those concessions gained by the PST and the hope is that this will be seen in Portsmouth as a major step forward for the club and that the PST have won what is being described as "Peace In Our Time"

1. Pompey will keep the title Portsmouth Football Club although it will say in brackets (A trading style of Southampton Football Club)

2. Although the clubs anthem will be changed to "Oh when the Skates go marching in" Play Up Pompey can still be sung in the FA Cup.

3. The club colours will remain blue and white although the style will now be stripes.

4. Pompey will receive B & Q vouchers at Xmas and on its birthday to help with the upkeep of Fratton Park

5. Pompey's current playing squad although being made redundant would all be helped to find work in more suited occupations such as Taxi Drivers and Publicans.

6. Fratton Park will retain its name and the Fratton End will be allowed to be called The Jimmy Dickinson Stand, however the South Stand will be called The Matthew Le Tissier Stand, The North Stand The Markus Liebherr Stand and the Milton End will be called empty as usual.

7. Pompey will have to change their badge, however they will be allowed to retain elements of their current crest, the design will in simple terms be the current Saints crest with the tree replaced by the crescent & moon but all in blue

8. Andy Awford will remain in charge, in fact this was insisted upon by Saints.

9. The Pompey club motto would remain as "Usquequaque In Sanctus Umbra

10. Nato Peacekeeping forces would guarantee the safety of Charity Collectors in the Fratton Boardroom area.

All being well this announcement will be made before noon today 1st April 2015, although the deal was nearly scuppered when a senior member of the Premier League committee was hit by a piece of guttering that fell of the stadium into Frogmore Road yesterday.

Usquequaque In Sanctus Umbra

Photo: Action Images

paulharrison added 10:20 - Apr 1 April Fool !
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Lingula added 13:04 - Apr 1 What an excellent idea! Pompey could use the St Mary's trophy cabinet to store all the championships and FA cups they have won as a) The trophy room is currently empty b) Fratton is too small to hold all the trophy's that Pompey have won. c) The Saints players could have their photo's taken with a trophy as its the nearest they will ever get!
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BoondockSaint added 13:18 - Apr 1 To improve attendance there was to be a "Buy One Ticket, Bring Your Closest Blood Relative For Free" scheme. However this never got past the planning stages as it was determined to be financial suicide-they couldn't afford the whole crowd getting in on one ticket!
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simmo400 added 06:51 - Apr 2 Poor effort Nick
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