Barry Island brings us the latest installment of Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

Every now and again there are posts that appear on the forum that can't fail but to make us laugh.  Because of the nature of the forum with so many posts per day these can soon get lost in the archives of the web site and so we look to preserve them more prominently at the front end of things.   And that is why, Planet Swans and Barry_Island proudly present for you, Diarree of Pembrokeshire's Blue

10.31. Tewsday.

Dear Jakarmy (or should that be Jak platune seeing the sighs of ewer crouds),

Ew makes me larf. Ha, ha. I have just come on Dad’s computa.

No I have, if ew dunt believe me look.

See I torld ew.

Mum won’t top me yet so I az ad to snake on ere agen. Dad is playing pule twoday. I thinks he is aving an affere because his air is neva wett wen he cums home and he smells of bere. Does ew av a daytime pule leeg in Swinsey? No ew dunt coz ew is all watshin Cats in the Hattic and things like at. I luvs the BBC Whales.

Whats ewer favurit Scottish footbal team? I betz ew says Rainjas or Bostik.

I dun’t like em they smell. The progrom cellar on Saturdai told me they are big-guts jus like ew. Smylin he was. My favurit is Helen Mirren even thow ey plays in black and wyte. Boo his.

I also likes Stirling Crysis, someone in my village sed ay is twinned with Cadirff City. Ey must be ower pheeda club. They is always in the news. I think Stirling plays in Lundon sumtimes cuz when ey torks about em its always in front of Cunary Warp. We are going to wemberlee. Neh, neh, neh, neh, neh. Mite take our Pembrokeshir buss to see ayer grownd. Top boyz.

We is doin bad in our Leekes games and our crouds is good. U are doing bad and ure crouds are doing wurse. Ha ha. Ew Welsh temes shud play in the Leeg of Whales. Ha ha.

Ow did ew doo at Wemberlee on Sunnday? Oh no ew didn’t go ther coz u lost to haven’t and not a clue ville. Tee hee. We never looses to non-leeg teems like at, except Carmafen and ey are in Europ then.

I herd a joke last Saturday wy is ew different from a Jap-knees fisherman? A Jap-knees fisherman always follows whales. It iz trew too and ew gnaws it. Duz ew understand it?

Not much rhume on ower Wemblee buss now Dai two spunes is comin. He can play “are ew watchin Jack pasta” by banging 2 spunes on his knees. He is brilliant 78 ears old wun of the pest.

Mind ew we had to tell im we wuz goin to Lundon to throw rottun frute at the Frensh Precedent. Tee hee. We will best West Broom on Sunday and then we will play Liverpul in the finial. Dai too spunes hasn't gott any teef.

Wood ew cum if I sed the busses was 3 for ew? Like wot we did when we wun ew wunnil. I wood.

Wot is ewer favurit thing on a farm assist counter? I likes Mentadent coz it rimes. I also likes coocoo clocks but ew gets em from a pet shop. Broccolly is orribul.

I have looked in the forn book and ther is no one called Kay Sarah in there. She must be hex-direct tree. I am goin to fawn 118,118 (because we could av solt that manee tickits in St Dogmiles aloan neh, neh, neh, neh, neh). I will tell em I will sett the old cru on em if they dunt giff me her numba. I needz it beacus I dunt know the second line of her song.

Wot is a Jap-knees fishaman?

Mum sed Dad mite be in work but I thinks he is playing pule agen for his pub.

Speke agen on Saturday on Wemblee Weigh unless Mum topps me before at. I’ll get the cann in.

Y r we?


Billlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllbords. Toidee.

You can view the previous diaree entry here

Photo: Action Images

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