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Woman quizzing her husband :“if I died would you marry again?” Husband: “yes I suppose so.” Wife: “would you live in this house?” Husband: “yes it’s a nice house why not?” Wife: “would you let her sleep in our bed?” Husband: “yes it’s a brand new bed, why not?” Wife: “& I suppose you’d let her use my golf clubs” Husband: “no she’s left handed.”
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband. He'll be so annoyed if it's not ready on time."
When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it. "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day." Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish.
She told her golf partners about it and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse, and one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him, he fell off the window ledge while he was trying to lick himself.”
Yeading for me. 1st watched them as the Industry pub team ( owned by Steve Perryman at the time) in the playing fields at the top of my road growing up and later followed them to The Warren when Phil Spurnden was chairman. I saw Andy Impey, Charlie Oatway and Lee Charles all come through to the 1st team and became mates with Chippy over time. I also used to watch some of the games with Macca and Tony Roberts who were usually at any games when Rangers didn't have a game due to odd number of teams in the Premier League. I haven't been to see them since they became H&YFC. The night they played Spurs to commemorate the new floodlights I am sure there were more QPR fans there than any other team LOL.
I said to my new girlfriend “What's that red mark across the bridge of your nose?" She said “It's caused by glasses." I said “Why don't you use contact lenses?" She said "They don't hold enough Vodka”.
I got a text message from my wife and all it said was "I'm done! I am breaking up with you". Yes I was shocked, thoughts were racing through my head etc. so you can imagine my relief when I got another text message from her 10 minutes later which read "Sorry wrong number".
As I was walking past William Hill today I saw a notice in the door saying Open Sunday 11 to 4. I had a tenner on it as they were open last Sunday too.
You're falling into the same trap. Complete hyperbole to suggest an aquatic mammal would be as good. To be clear, I don't particularly like him, I think he is a poor GK and I would be very happy if Walsh or Salamon could step up for the rest of the season but, based on what I have seen thus far, they still don't have the gamecraft of Begovich and that is what is probably keeping them out. I have no doubts these are his last few games but he is all we have atm so let's just suck it up and keep supporting the team.
I got in the ground around 1:30 as I need a pee and saw someone I know and asked if he knew what the team was. He replied that Dykes and Colback were in for Frey & Hayden, the rest unchanged. When the players came out for their warm ups and drills there was no sign of Dykes and the waters were muddied further when the teams were read out and Dykes was on the bench. He came out around 2:45 ish to join in with the shooting drills but in tracksuit bottoms. Common sense would dictate that after the efforts for 90 mins on Weds that Dykes for Frey was a reasonable rotation and then Frey starts anyway.