Poster Profiles - Garyjack

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POSTER PROFILE - Garyjack

Yup. It's time to profile everyone's favourite Jackarmy team-organising, weight losing, Bluebird baiting Bow-loving Animal, Garyjack!

Not many people realise this, but Garyjack isn't actually human. Born on the distant, atmosphere-free planet of Sai-Dar, he was sent to Earth for his own safety whilst he was still in the larval stage, his home world having been destroyed by an exploding star. After many years floating through space, his capsule landed in an apple orchard in the Dunvant area of Swansea. Here Gary stayed, feeding on the fermented fallen fruit while his new human body developed. He finally emerged fully formed during the mid 1980's.

Being relatively new to our planet, it took him some time to find his bearings. Whilst wandering through the city centre one Saturday afternoon, his delicate SaiDarian nostrils detected the strong aroma of the fruit that had nurtured him emanating from a local pub named "The Garibaldi". Immediately plunging into the place, he followed the smell to a cabal of assorted misanthropes and shady characters, many of whom were imbibing a strange, urine coloured liquid that contained the apples that Gary so adored.

This rogues gallery soon sensed that they were in the presence of a powerful being, but after much trial and error deduced that he could be controlled with large and regular doses of Strongbow, (Woodpecker of course having been discounted for tasting like piss). They decided to take their new friend to the football with them, and Gary was immediately hooked on the heady atmosphere of the North Bank. He did associate with the more unsavoury elements in his early days, and thoroughly enjoyed chasing a young Watchman around the place. However, he soon grew out of it.

The years rolled by, and Gary developed more and more human personality traits and quirks, such as love, anger, envy, and a fondness for pulling his trousers down in a packed pub. Happily accepted as a fun loving member of the human race, he now works in a secure accommodation centre for other local assorted Space Cadets, and shows no desire to ever return home.

He is truly the Urban Spaceman.

Favourite Food - Apple Pie

Favourite Drink - Duh!

Most Likely to Say - I'll have a can of 'Bow please

Least Likely to say - Jamo, I really miss you

All Time Hero - Scrumpy Jack

Favourite Visiting Fan - Anyone from Yeovil

Swansea's Version of - A strange Mork/Barney Gumble hybrid

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