It's a preview dream come true. Monkey Hangers. I mean there is endless material in there for the previews. Jokes about errr Monkeys and Hanging must be plenty a pound and that's before I even get started on the worried look on Garry Monk's face this afternoon.

And of course there is something seriously wrong with any town that elects a mascot to a position of power. It just doesn't make sense. Someone in charge who knows nothing about the fans, nothing about customer service and nothing about life in the real world. Hang on, I'm beginning to see where Stadco got their mission statement from.

Now I did endless research on monkey hanging for this preview and couldn't come up with anything significant to tell people other than the monkey got off on appeal. I'm sure he was really chuffed at that point! The criminals compensation board are still deciding on the award.

Other than monkey hanging there really isn't alot to rip the piss out of Hartlepool about. We beat them 8-0 for our record league win, they've lost in the play offs for the last two years, um, errr, ahhh that's about it really. JxNeutron can you help me out here somewhere me old scouse mate?

Team news wise. Mr Trundle could feature for us along side his Knight in shining armour but there will be no starting place for Darren Way who will have to wait until the Bristol City game at the earliest for his debut for the Swans. Izzy Wizzy Lets Get Busy looks as if he could be back at the back alongside the nervous Garry Monk (please refer to him as Mr Monk tomorrow) whilst in the middle Big Leon, Roberto, Robbo and possibly Macca will line up to provide the ammunition for Lee and little Leon.

Hartlepools team news is just that - team news. Some of their players will play, some will not. If you believe their fans some will even just turn up and watch on the pitch. Now it is sounding like Bristol City all over again.

Of course we have a pretty crap record against Hartlepool in recent times having lost 7-1 and 4-0 at their place in very recent memory. However, the good news is that their fans tell us that they are now almost as bad as Bristol City so maybe we can even out that score tomorrow. I'd like to think so anyway. But you know what happens when we come up against crap teams. Sometimes. Or maybe its reverse psychology or something like that anyway!

And so there we go, a preview that promised so much but failed miserably to deliver. It's the Wurzels next week, we promise to do better than this. Honest

PS - Peter Mandelson was once MP for Hartlepool, you don't need a passport to get there

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PREDICTIONS SO FAR 15:55 FRI JAN 20