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Maybe Leeds should do what we have all had to do....switch to a money saving expert
Maybe Leeds should do what we have all had to do....switch to a money saving expert
Sunday, 30th Jun 2013 22:03

Granted, Martin Lewis is probably second to only Sarah Beeney as the most annoying smug tw*t on the television but good old Mart does make some interesting and useful suggestions to watch the pennies so in the same way that Peter Ridsdale hired Max Clifford's PR expertise in the wake of Bowyer/Woodgate maybe we should be getting our very own money saving meerkat on board?

1- Utilities

It must cost a Kings Ransom to put the lights on at ER these days, even on a mild Saturday afternoon in September the floodlights have to be on at 2:45pm so if the average household can save around £100 a year then how much would an operation like Elland Road save by switching from one foreign owned supplier to another?

Another consideration would be to get the maintenance man to seal off all the exposed plug sockets. I know of at least one in the East Stand lower open to abuse near the Gents. Anybody could sneakily charge their phone/gadget off the Elland Road juice. I bet there are hundreds in the vicinity of the dressing room where all these overpaid, pampered players can simply plug their gadgets in whilst they ponce around for 90 minutes barely breaking sweat. Any decent poundshop will stock those plastic things to prevent babies from sticking their fingers in plug sockets and their own version of "No more nails" will solve the problem.

2- Consolidate your debts.

This does not mean sell Sam Byram to the highest bidder. Debt is quite normal and healthy, shop around for the lowest APR, some providers offer cash back or even payment holidays, avoid borrowing from lenders just because it is convenient eg a Gilbraltar based shirt sponsor/some mob who have David Haigh on their board.

3-Swop your supermarket.

Swop shop is all the rage again these days! Okay, you might not be able to fool the more discerning Elland Road goer who is prepared to pay £75+ Vat to tuck into a carvery prior to the Nurenberg friendly but the ordinary plebs in the stands won't be able to tell the difference between Yorkshire Tea and a budget supermarket's cheap and nasty own brand. Speaking from personal experience, the "replica" Mars and Twix bars found in downmarket, German-owned supermarkets are just as good as the real thing and I'm sure Ryan Hall and Adam Drury could finally be given a meaningful role on match days in switching thevwrappers.

4- Travel.

With petrol costs soaring and insurance costs rocketing, it has never been dearer to run a vehicle. Surely the age of the luxury coach, or flights even if we are playing Brighton have now gone? I have done some research and there are plenty of firms in West Yorkshire who offer self-drive minibuses. Better still, in true Sunday pub football style the lads could draw up a rota and arrive at away games in just four motors, carrying their own kit of course.

5 - Charging Visiting Teams

Straying away from the "Money Saving" mantra to one of the success stories of the past decade, Ryanair. Whilst our very own Mr O'Leary was getting Dewey-eyed over "Moi Babies" his namesake at Ryanair was coming up with innovative ideas to screw every last penny/euro cent out of his customers whilst still convincing them they were getting a great deal....ideas include:

- charging the away team coach to park.

- a baggage allowance of 15kgs max for the kit, for gods sake all this breathable body fit stuff hardly weighs anything nowadays. A surcharge of £25 per kilo payable by cash c/o Mr K Bates.

- players can bring into the changing room one piece of personal baggage which must not weigh more than 5 kg and exceed 55x45x25cm -same fee structure above applies.

- charging for the half-time tea (tea bags purchased from some downmarket German owned supermarket like the milk)

- charging to use the toilet, suggested fee £1.

Photo: Action Images

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