According to unconfirmed reports Manchester United are about to shock the footballing world and offer David Moyes old job to a teenager.

The race to sign Luke Shaw has been raging now for a number of months with first one club then another, then three or four all being claimed as his new employers, but after Shaw himself hinted that it would be his impression of a Club's manager that would sway him to a decision, Manchester United have taken drastic measures to ensure that they get their man.

Usually when a player changes clubs for a fee of the nature that Saints would be likely to trouser when Shaw goes, a potential suitor will woo the player with what their fair city has to offer in terms of a vibrant culture and nightlife as well as wanna be supermodels and reality TV show contestants, ironically just the thing they want to steer the player away from once he joins, but Shaw is too young to be swayed by these things.

Saints are already doing their best to keep Shaw happy, Mauricio Pochettino plays Playstation regularly with Shaw and takes him to the Odeon at Leisureworld on a Wednesday for a midweek treat after training, the bonus being that as Pochettino has an Orange phone he gets two for the price of one on "Orange Wednesday" so it costs the club little even though they usually get Premium Seats.

But other clubs are trying to muscle in on the act, Chelsea regularly sent him Toys R Us vouchers when it isn't even his birthday and there isn't a week when Manchester City don't send him a 2 for 1 offer at either Alton Towers or Chessington.

But United are determined to go one better and if its Shaw's opinion on the manager that really counts they have figured that who will he like most but himself, so they are planning to offer him the Player manager's job.

Although very rare in British football for someone so young to be offered a manager's role in the game, appointments of this nature are more the norm in the United States since the 1990 film Home Alone, back then it was normal for an actor to play a role of a person many years younger than him/her and when the film was commissioned all of the big stars of the time were up for the part of Eight Year old Kevin, Leslie Neilson was hot favourite as was Clint Eastwood, but Producer John Hughes shocked Hollywood when he cast ten year old Macaulay Caulkin in the part, despite the fact that Culkin had little experience he wasn't scared to risk youth, feeling that if you are good enough you are old enough and now the Glaziers are going to take a leaf out of Hughes's book and give the main role to teenager Shaw.

Of course giving the job to Shaw will put some noses out of joint, Wayne Rooney sensing that he is going to be passed over has been spotted shopping for toys and a pram and of course Harry Redknapp is already incensed that his friends in the media havent been plugging him for the job, but United are standing firm and are expected to approach Shaw with this unique opportunity immediately after their visit to St Mary's in a couple of weeks.

Shaw himself wants to go into management and has already taken the first steps into that role by buying Shoot each week as well as collecting Panini Stickers, this means that he already has an edge on other contenders for the job, Moyes big failing this season has been in the transfer market, but Shaw had a full set of United players by September and showed great maturity in the way he managed to complete the entire album famously swapping a "Danny Fox" for a "Luis Suarez" for the final sticker he needed, this did not go unoticed in the United boardroom and they are hoping that once appointed he will be able to perform similar "swapsies" for the likes of Fellaini and Phil Jones.

United know that secrecy and speed is of the essence if they are to succeed in this bid, there are bound to alert the other bidders for Shaw, so far they have been only from the UK, but there are bound to be some from abroad and with a US Presidential election on the horizon and Obama finishing his maximum two terms, the Democrat party are believed to be about to try and tempt Shaw, offering him not only Obama's position but a big party when he arrives, stumbling block seems to be who will sing at it, Beyonce is the norm but Shaw is more a Tiny Tempah man.

So the Shaw bidding war is about to be stepped up a gear and United feel that they are now in pole position in that as manager he can guarantee himself a first team place and if Rooney moans about his crosses then as manager Shaw can substitute him straight away.

All of this United feel will be unmatchable by any other club in the World and they are even willing to put up a banner in the Stretford end for him, "The Teenage One" already being designed as we speak.

Of course Shaw might turn all this down and prefer to stay at Saints, however national media sources say they haven't heard that rumour at all.

Photo: Action Images

ericofarabia added 10:21 - Apr 23 Ha Ha ..... Mr ITK Nick 1st to break the story, ahead of the National Press, but expect to see the same story in tonights Echo ;-)
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BoondockSaint added 16:26 - Apr 23 The Dems are ready to give their "Chosen One" Hillary the boot (or shoe) and think Shaw can fill out her pantsuit much better. Only stumbling block is Joe Biden, who will have to be replaced by someone more eloquent-Joe Kinnear!
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aceofthebase added 21:41 - Apr 24 You haven't mentioned the rumour, no fact, that David the golden one is on the threshold of buying out Man United and that Victoria will be in charge of the kit and pre match routines , now to be known as Dance practice. Expect to see a change of direction in the club and for the name Ferguson to be banned from use. It is expected that he will withdraw MU from the EPL and that they will join some new star studded league in the USA. As for Shaw well his stubble makes him him too much of a rival for DB and he is now expected to stay at home.

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