I know I should not watch the X-Factor - it is however "car-crash" TV....

We are all guilty of slowing down and gawping and some other poor buggers' misfortune on the road, similar sentiments apply to the search for the next bastard-child of Simon Cowell.

This year's Jedward if you like is Wagner, a 54-year-old Brazilian from Dudley. If you have not seen him, believe me he is awful! He cannot sing, dance and if you saw somebody who looked like him lurking around your kids' Primary School, you'd definitely be on the blower to the Dibble!

Arguably Saturday's opponents Middlesbrough pioneered the novelty of having a Brazilian in your squad. Can you believe it is nearly 15 years ago since Juninho made his Premiership debut as Boro faced Leeds at the Riverside? He set up their opener, but we pegged it back to 1-1. I remember the hoo-haa prior to his Premiership bow, Teeside lasses abandoned their affection for Chris Rea and broke out the yellow-tops and Samba drums - suddenly Autumnal Redcar with its grey sand and belching Steelworks smoke became as exotic as Copacabana beach.

You will of course have your own opinions as to whether or not Juninho was a success at Boro (he would later have three spells down by the Riverside). Okay they were relegated in 1997 but they sold him on to Atletico Madrid for nearly three-times what they paid for him. Do you remember when they signed another Brazilian, Branco? Juninho's diminutive stature made him easy target for the Prem's hatchet men of the day so Branco was brought in as his "minder". I remember the press photo of Branco putting a protective arm around the little-one and had I not read the caption Id have assumed that Branco was not a footballer but a portly, long-lost ageing Uncle. After 9 starts for Boro, he was gone.

Around about the same time, a Brazilian did arrive in West Yorkshire, but at our dear neighbours Bradford City. Our former favourite Chris Kamara brought striker Edinho to Valley Parade. After 15 goals in 59 starts, there was talk of us sniffing round but it proved to be lazy speculative journalism as the Bantam's Samba star transferred to the mighty Dunfirmline instead.

Having lost a certain Rio in 2002, a boy from Rio way headed to ER a year later and finally we had a Brazilian of our own to cherish. To boot, he had been signed from the mighty AC Milan and had been a World Cup winner in Japan and South Korea. On paper, we believed Peter Reid had pulled off an unlikely masterstroke by signing Roque Junior. Surely he was just the player, a world-class act to pull together our shoddy defence?

He was sent off against Birmingham City on his debut, mere teething-trouble, problems acclimatising to the Prem and the boy will come good, he's bound to - he's a Brazilian after all....

Alas history tells us otherwise and his contribution to Leeds is locked away alongside the likes of Marshall Burke, Tony Arins and Neil Firm. Roque Junior made seven appearances for Leeds, although he bagged two against Scum in our gallant 3-2 League Cup defeat - Leeds leaked an astonishing 24 goals in those games and by January 2004 he had moved to Siena. Astonishing he is still playing for Brazilian side Iuano, where it all began for a certain Juninho.

Other than that link-up with the nursery side from Brazil, I wonder if we will ever see a member of the Seleção in a white shirt again? I have learned that for every Pele and Rivaldo, there is a Branco and Roque Junior. Just because they come from Brazil does not mean they will be naturally gifted footballers, a bit like that myth which says that all Scousers have a sense of humour.

Photo: Action Images

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