Manchester United are a World renowned football club, although most people are unaware that they existed before 1992, here are a few facts about their years in the wilderness that are sure to incite large incidents of unrest in the home counties.
1. They were originally formed as Newton Heath LYR Football Club by railway workers in the wagon & carriage department for those who had a healthy interest in football, trains and christianity, they played their first match in 1880 wearing the company colours of gold & green, they were stuffed by Bolton 6-0, afterwards they complained that the shirts had blended in with grass making it difficult for them to pick out each other.
2. They joined the football league in 1892/93, coincidentally the same year that christianity arrived in the city, by now they were independent of the railway company, within the decade they had gone bust due to debts and poor support, they vowed that never again would they rely on their support coming from within a 100 mile radius of Manchester.
3. In April 1902 they first bore the name Manchester United and started to wear red shirts, confident that with the British Army now changing their colours to khaki that this wouldnt blend in with the crowd in the upcoming World War 1 competiton.
4. Early supporters included Friedrich Engels who along with Karl Marx co wrote the Communist manifesto, despite dying in 1895 Engles continued to hold a United Season ticket till 2011 when the club had a season ticket amnesty, after discovering that 86% of their season ticket holders had died but their familys continued to hold the ticket.
5. Old Trafford was opened in 1910 and originally had a capacity of 100,000 due to malnutrition in the Manchester area, but as more affluent fans started supporting the club, they often found that with more obese supporters in attendance the gates had to be locked with barely 1/2 that numbner in attendance.
6. During the second world war Old Trafford being near the docks was flattened, although local rumour was that it was targetted on the express orders of Hitler who had predicted in Mein Kampf that unless his party was elected to power, Europe would soon be over run by football clubs who would remove the "Football Club" from their club badges.
7. Manchester United fans consider their main rivals to be Sutton United, Farnborough Town & Chelmsford, in a recent poll United fans felt that rivalry should be geographic to where a clus support lives rather than being with a club 200 miles north of the heartland of the support.
8. The word bandwagon did not exist in the English language until the year 1968, when it was invented shortly after the clubs first and rare European Cup wins, United supporters clubs were formed all over the country by those who demanded not only success from their team, but an endless stream of club branded tat in the club shop,
9. Lou Macari's fish & chip shop was a famous landmark outside Old Trafford for many a year, its owner finding it very hard to maintain a part time career in football with Celtic along with running the shop, was very relieved to be signed by United in 1973, meaning that both his jobs were adjacent to each other, the signature dish at the establishment remains the deep fried prawn sandwich, a delicacy that was a staple in the diet of railway workers in impoverished Manchester in the Victorian era, in recent years it has been gentrified by the lub who serve it to those roughing it in the cheaper corporate areas.
10. Sir Alex Ferguson recently published his 13th Autobiography, entitled Fifty Shades Of Grey it documents 90 minutes of his life in 1996, often desribed as erotic due to its liberal use of the F & C words, as well as the scene where Sir Alex in his complete domination of 11 men orders them to strip naked whilst repeating the phrase "Three F***ing Nil & Its only half time" its sado masochistic tomes being emphasised as he similtaneously and repeatably kicks the kit man up the arse.
His follow up due out soon is rumoured to have very explicit SIXUAL overtones.