In tribute to the pervading style of click bait 'journalism', LFW looks at the questions Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink needs answering before the end of the season as Middlesbrough prepare to visit Loftus Road.
Championship >>> Friday April 1, 2016 >>> Kick Off 19.45 >>> Weather — Sunny day, clear night >>> Loftus Road, London, W12 >>> Live on Sky Sports 1
The demise of The Independent, which printed its final editions on paper last weekend, will no doubt barely have registered for many of you. Because nobody read it.
It’s sad for many reasons, but for me personally primarily because it was one of the few newspapers with a sports section worth reading at the weekend.
Not afraid to publish a two-page feature with a player or manager not necessarily in the news, or with a book to promote, to explore issues a little wider than what happened in the last match, what might happen this week and what's been said on Twitter. Even if, heaven forbid, that player or manager might not be in the "Barclays Premier League”.
Not willing to clear all its pages for three months of every single year to cover the beer and Barbour jacket-selling festival of pointless rugger just because a small but very vocal, powerful and rich section of middle England thinks the 6 Nations is jolly important and can’t understand why the vast majority couldn’t give a dead monkey’s toss who wins the little pots they give out after every single monotonous round of kick and clap.
Not overly keen to take the route some previously quality outfits have and turn their sport coverage into a sort of Buzzfeed-lite — where everything is a top ten, or a bottom ten, or a ‘did you see this hilarious thing Wayne Rooney did during Man Utd v Chicago Orangesox?’. Also not noticeably so desperate for 20 minutes with a borderline-remedial professional footballer that it was willing to acquiesce to every demand the PR makes before going in — The Guardian’s near 1000-word piece with Ashley Young that failed to mention his propensity to cheat fellow professionals by diving in the penalty box, and his girlfriend by wanking in front of other girls on chat site webcams while away in the team hotel, but did make very sure to mention that he was "appearing on behalf of” whatever Fifa computer game it was that year lives long in the memory for all the wrong reasons.
But, like I say, nobody read it, so now it’s gone. It’s not the first, and it won’t be the last, and while I certainly don’t expect any tears to be shed for the demise of my profession, a demise it certainly is and you’ll notice the problem with that only when it’s too late. Journalists have done little to further their cause in recent times, and plenty to harm it still further, but remain vital to any society. Their number has declined while the amount of PRs has increased exponentially — which basically means there are fewer people trying to produce balanced coverage of news stories (which some still do, honest), and more people with a professional bias towards one side or the other influencing what you read, hear, know and find out to the benefit of their client — who could be a fucking scumbag.
This is particularly dangerous in a place like Middlesbrough, where an entire industry is being closed down because of cheap foreign imports while the government stands idly by. If only we could get Emma Thompson (whose opinion matters more than yours because she was in some shit films a while back) to flap around on Newsnight and talk about the state of 80,000 population towns when you close down the thing that employs 17,000 of them. If as many London tube drivers were losing their jobs as steel workers in Middlesbrough, Port Talbort and Scunthorpe (my hometown, full disclosure) you’d never hear the end of it, but because it’s happening in Middlesbrough, Port Talbort and Scunthorpe you might not even be aware it’s happening. Middlesbrough take 8,000 fans to Man Utd for a League Cup game and they all hold up the lights on their phone at a designated time to raise awareness and people wonder what’s going on.
The local papers in these places were killed long ago, or are in the process of dying - reporters and sub editors dismissed, dailies turned to weeklies turned to online only and then closed. What pages are left are filled with press releases from the police, local health authority, council and whichever PR agency is working for Tata Steel i.e. what the police, local healthy authority, council and Tata Steel want you to hear about their poor performance, dirty hospitals, appalling service or cruel job cuts.
Football clubs need to be asked difficult questions as well, and sadly once you get out of London, out of the Premier League, or pretty much out of Manchester, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea there are fewer and fewer people around to do it. Even in that elite there are, infamously, more "club journalists” on the staff at Manchester City — telling you exactly what they want to tell you about why this supposed wonderful academy is producing absolutely nothing by way of regular first team or England players — than there are at the Manchester Evening News — which would presumably have its access removed if it got too eggy with a club that’s been financially doped to the point of being completely unrecognisable from anything it was or stood for before.
QPR are fortunate - given that the "London” Evening Standard would rather give over an entire page to Harry Redknapp’s lies and fairy stories, or even more laughably Paul Scholes’ attention-seeking rants about Manchester United, than provide decent coverage of the London sides in the Championship and below - to have journalists like Dave McIntyre and one or two notable others willing to still do the hard yards, and write the tough words, on the club when needed. It also has one of the country’s last remaining, and longest running, print fanzines A Kick Up The R’s — the quality of which has remained sky high for years despite rising costs and falling circulation. Dare I say you’re also pretty fortunate, whether you like us or agree with us or not, to have LFW here — have a look at some of the drek passing for fan blogs and sites at other clubs if you don’t believe me.
But when even the local papers covering QPR are resorting to cutting out quotes from a fans forum at Loftus Road and drip feeding them out in 100-word online snippets blanketed with invasive adverts more than a fortnight after the event under clickbait headlines like "you’ll never guess what Lee Hoos said about away tickets” or "a fan accused Les Ferdinand of picking the team, you’ll never believe what happened next…” it’s clear the tide is flowing one way.
So, in that spirit, here’s our nine things Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink needs to learn from QPR’s otherwise largely meaningless remaining matches before next season. You won’t believe number seven etc etc etc…
- Grant Hall seems a shoo-in for one centre back spot next season, though we shouldn’t necessarily expect him to maintain the amazing standard he’s set this. Whether he does or he doesn’t, Clint Hill has shown the value of having a ‘kick it and head it’ character alongside him. Is that to be Hill, Gabrielle Angella or somebody new? And what does that mean for Nedum Onuoha?
- Can Jack Robinson come back successfully from his career threatening injury and stake a claim at left back? If so, what does that mean for James Perch who’s looked far better there than on the right?
- Following on from that, who’s going to be the right back? Nedum Onuoha is playing well there at the moment, but hasn’t looked comfortable in the past and isn’t much use as an attacking, overlapping weapon which is so important from full back in the modern game and this position in particular.
- Do we renew Karl Henry’s contract? This would have been an absolute, firm no even a couple of weeks ago, and no doubt remains so if he won’t take a substantial cut from the wages he earns now, but he’s shown his value in the system Hasselbaink likes to play of late. If not, could Perch fit into the plan here if Robinson is going to play on the left side of the defence?
- Where does Conor Washington fit into this team? QPR struggle to play a four man midfield because they lack a box-to-box central midfield player and it leaves the defence exposed, and Washington has struggled as a lone striker where Seb Polter has excelled. He showed for Northern Ireland in the week that the talent is there, but Rangers are struggling to harness it.
- Are we renewing Ale Faurlin’s contract? If so, we need to find somebody who can adequately cover the games he can’t play. If not, we need to find an adequate replacement full stop. Daniel Toszer looked like a reasonable stab at both when he arrived from Watford, but has failed badly highlighting both how important Faurlin is to the team, and how few other players there are out there who can do what he does — even with no knees — in this team.
- Is Matt Phillips staying or not? If he is, can he pull his finger out a bit? If not, let’s get it sorted quickly — this season of speculation has had a visible effect on his form, work rate and body language. This needs sorting, firmly, one way or the other. Next season will be tough, and very important to the club as the parachute payments near their end — we can't have anybody out there who's half interested/committed.
- Where does Massimo Luongo fit? Like Washington, excelled on international duty last week but has struggled to nail down a regular starting place and position in the QPR side. Yet to score his first goal for the club, which seems remarkable after two for Australia in as many games this week. Could he be the new/alternate Faurlin?
- Is Junior Hoilett staying? Certainly not on his current money — probably why he’s suddenly playing so well after three and a half years of crap performances, as he tries to trick/persuade somebody else to give him another big deal. If he is off, despite his recent excellent form, QPR would do well to start exploring alternatives — Tjaronn Chery hasn’t looked comfortable wide, Nasser El Khayati would benefit from games at his new higher level. Is a new signing required or does Washington fit here, seemingly ideally situated to run infield behind Polter onto the right foot he likes to search out the far corner with?
Links >>>Unfortunate events — Boro profile>>>Karanka situation — Interview>>>Six goal thriller — History>>>Hooper in charge — Referee>>>Hoos Beard is it anyway? Podcast
Extended highlights of Neil Warnock’s unbeaten QPR side shoving the rounds of the kitchen through Gordon Strachan’s Middlesbrough at Loftus Road on the way to the 2010/11 Championship title.
Team News: Massimo Luongo scored twice for Australia on international duty last week, including one in a thrashing of Harry Redknapp’s Jordan side after which, no word of a lie, Excuse McScuseyface said "what can I do, I can’t bring any new players in?”. Sadly the flights, time zones, jet lag and lack of training with the rest of the team means Mass is unlikely to hit the ground running with his team mates on Friday. Conor Washington has also been away, successfully, with Northern Ireland and Junior Hoilett, less so, with Canada so it could be an interesting team selection from Hasslebaink for this one. Ben Gladwin has been recalled from Bristol City with a view to giving him game time at long last, although the serious knee injury he suffered while at Ashton Gate probably rules him out for the time being.
Middlesbrough’s Player of the Year elect is Daniel Ayala and his return from a hamstring complaint could go a long way to arresting their slide of three away defeats in succession. Damie Abella is sidelined with cholera.
Elsewhere: International break? International break?! Such insolence must be punished.
For their fortnight off the Championship inmates are rewarded with a glut of matches in the next seven days. In the next ten days everybody will have played at least three times, while Brum, Reading, our opponents on Friday Middlesbrough, and The Champions of Europe have to play four games. Just when you’re nervous, just when you’re tired, just when your injuries are at their peak, four games in ten days.
The first volley of abuse obviously starts with our game on Friday, but there is then a full programme on Saturday before another on Tuesday. The Mad Chicken Farmers, fresh from announcing £100m of club debt in their latest accounts, host near neighbours Preston in the televised Saturday lunchtime kick off. Brighton v Big Spending Burnley is obviously a better game, but having been passed over by the television companies once can only assume it’s been moved to 12.30 — with all the horrendously early starts that necessitates for the Burnley fans — because of the notoriously boisterous and troublesome Clarets travelling faithful who were last seen in a fight in a non-Blackburn context during the Second World War.
There’s some intrigue at 15.00. Tarquin and Rupert will no doubt poo poo the ‘new money’ on show from The Franchise at the Cottage but that’s a relegation six pointer now and make no mistake. What better way for Neil Warnock to continue his remarkable revival of Rotherham than with a home win against the Champions Of Europe, who have just had Souleymane Doukara banned for eight games for biting an opponent. Well done mate.
Tigers Tigers Rah Rah Rah v The Wurzels is a top v bottom clash where the form is reversed from the norm, while the Sheffield Owls go to Huddersfield for a Yorkshire derby with play-off places on the line. Cardiff can formally handover the crown of annual meltdown artists to the Derby Sheep when they meet in South Wales.
But then there’s a lot of inconsequential rubbish as well. Already Relegated Bolton, apparently desperately awaiting the arrival of Southend’s Phil Brown and making do with Peter ‘Reidy’ Reid in the meantime, host Reading who’ve dipped encouragingly close to the bottom three themselves of later. Already Relegated Charlton host Birmingham, who aren’t quite good enough to trouble that top six after all. Nottingham Trees v Brentford is barely of interest to even the two teams involved and then there’s Wolves v Ipswich followed by light ales and another blast of 12 games in three days’ time.
Madness this. Pure, unadulterated, exceptionally mediocre, madness.
Referee: Premier League referee Simon Hooper drops down to take charge of this one, his first QPR appointment since the 1-0 loss at Brentford at the end of Chris Ramsey’s stint in charge of the first team. Don’t be put off by that result though, he’s been pretty decent in the games we’ve had him so far. Famous last words to be read here.
QPR: Rangers may be eleventh, but their form is worthy of more — fifth in the Championship since the turn of the year. The R’s have lost just two of 13 and were a last-minute equaliser at Preston away from a third straight win last time out. At Loftus Road the results and performances have been progressing nicely, with the last three home games won to nil and a 3-0 success against Brentford following 2-0 wins against play-off chasing Derby and Birmingham. Only Fulham, Forest and Hull have won on this ground this term and the recent wins, which also include a 1-0 success against Ipswich, have started to shift the balance away from the prevailing draws. The Hoops have won eight, drawn eight and lost three on their own patch this season.
Middlesbrough: Boro may be third, but their recent form — particularly away from the Riverside — is not good. They’ve lost their last three away, all at relegation-haunted sides — Fulham, Rotherham and Charlton. Boro have won only four of the last 12, which means having lead Burnley by five points at Christmas with a game in hand they now trail Sean Dyche’s side by five points and two places — though still with the extra game. Boro have lost seven away matches which is more than all but one of the top six, same as Leeds in midtable, and same as Fulham one place outside the drop zone. They’ve won just one of the last seven away from home.
Prediction:Reigning Prediction League champion isawqpratwhitecity tells LFW…
"After being pleasantly surprised in the international break by a brace from Massimo Luongo (perhaps he should wear his Green-and-Gold underneath the Hoops) and a winner from Conor Washington to boot, we're back to the weekly grind of the Championship. Our visitors don't seem to be showing the form that has them one point out of the automatic spots with a game in hand, away from home at least. In their last six away games Middlesboro had draws at the Dons and Leeds, a bit of a break with a win over the Fools, but then successive losses at Blackburn, Rotherham and Charlton. This is clearly a bunch of boys that get travel-sick easily, so, despite our early game, I'm going for the win."
Jim’s Prediction: QPR 2-1 Middlesbrough. Scorer: Seb Polter
LFW’s Prediction: QPR 1-0 Middlesbrough. Scorer: Tjaronn Chery
The Twitter @loftforwords
Pictures — Action Images