Today we bring you something different, the story of the Virgil Van Dijk transfer in numbers ! So if you want the real statistics of this seemingly never ending saga then read on.
Do you look at numbers and think you see a patterm emerging ? No ! good me neither, so perhaps if there is someone out there who can spot one they can get in touch.
Anyway here are the numbers.
0 - The number of public utterances Virgil Van Dijk has made about leaving Southampton, also the number of apparent f*cks he appears to give about the club that has paid him well to do nothing the last 7 months and the number of bids Liverpool have made for him.
1 - The number of baskets Jurgen Klopp has his eggs in when it comes to buying a central defender.
2. The number of boots that Matt Le Tissier wore in each game and subsequently the number that Van Dijk is not fit to lick.
3. The number of stories per day that the Liverpool Echo publishes about Van Dijk at the behest of it's paymaster.
4. Teachers Van Dijk has had in being taught to behave like a spoilt c***, the professors he has had are Dejan Lovren, Victor Wanyama, Pablo Osvaldo & Jose Fonte.
6 - Number of stories in June suggesting what squad numbers were free for Van Dijk to have when he joined Liverpool, a deal that was apparently very close to happening.
7 - The shirt number of the ex Saints player who has Liverpool fans in his pocket on twitter.
9 - The odds for VVW to stay at St Mary's are currently 9/2 on Skybet making us second favourites after Liverpool at 2/7, if we were Liverpool fans in Asia we would be pointing this out as conclusive proof that we are a bigger club than Barcelona at 25/1, Chelsea at 13/2, any German club at 20/1 and Real Madrid at 66/1.
10 - The number of times Klopp has remained adamant in the press this week.
17 - Van Dijk's shirt number during his time at St Mary's, at one time it looked like when he finally left it would be retired and hung up in the hall of fame, now it is likely to be retired, burn't and like the number 13 is considered unlucky as it was how many were at the last supper, it will now be a number never uttered by Saints fans again.
21 - Number of sources "close to player" dwarfed by sources "close to club" (see 231)
25 - The number of years (plus another 10 months) that Virgil Van Dijk lived before he suddenly realised that Liverpool were a bigger club than Chelsea, Man City, Barcelona and Real Madrid (put together).
68 - Total number of appearances that Van Dijk has made for Saints in all competitions.
69 - His 69th game for the club will be his most significant .
78 - Average number of nationalities on the Kop for a Liverpool home game.
137 - The number of ex Liverpool players who have publicly said that they not only have been told a deal is close but that it would be in the players best interest to move from a club like Southampton to a club like Liverpool.
196 - The number of countries in the World where Liverpool have rabid self righteous fans who have been on twitter demanding that we stop holding Van Dijk hostage and let him have his dream move. Although technically speaking it could be said to be 195 as many countries don't recognise Taiwan or 194 as I don't think you can get twitter in North Korea.
203 - Van Dijk's weight in lbs
231 - Number of sources "close to club"
666 - The squad number that Van Dijk should get if he goes to Anfield, that is if Dejan Lovren will relinquish it.
1910 - Rudyard Kipling published "IF" in 1910, a poem that it is assumed that Van Dijk has never read.
1991 - The year that Virgil Van Dijk was born in, also considered unlucky by older Saints fans as it was the year that Ian Branfoot joined Saints, both events happening within one month of each other, talk about appocalypse now !
7,000,0000(£) - The number of reasons why Virgil Van Dijk won't put in a transfer request.
10,000,000(£) - The number of reasons why Celtic want this transfer to go through, co incidentally only 10,000,000 more than they have serious rivals to win the Scottish league these days, nothing like competitive football eh !