There can be no excuses for this defeat, a loss that effectively means that it will be a play off spot and not an automatic promotion place for Southampton, so where did it all go wrong.
There were not many arguments amongst the travelling Saints supporters when the starting line up was announced, although the absence of Flynn Downes through injury was a worry and for the first half at least it looked like it would be a straightforward task to beat Cardiff when after Adam Armstrong hit a post early doors, Joe Aribo gave Saints a 12th minute lead.
For most of the rest of the first half it seemed only a matter of time before we got a second and maybe more but a string of decent chances were wasted, perhaps as many as half a dozen on target and blocked and the Bluebirds were grateful to be going into the break all square.
The second half started in pretty much the same way with the home goalkeeping pulling off a wonder save and other chances again wasted, but you were getting the feeling we might pay heavily for our wastefulness.
With 22 minutes came the equaliser and you just had that sinking feeling that we were doomed, but it would be the 6th minute of injury time before the winner arrived and to be blunt it was no surprise.
So where did it go wrong, well a lot of the usual excuses were missing, there was no Gavin Bazunu to point the finger at, no Jack Stephens and in the second half no Ryan Manning who was taken off at half time being replaced by James Bree.
The first mistake was the failure to bring on fresh legs before the equaliser, we were starting to look leggy in the lead up, why was there no change made till after the goal, then it was just the one change, Rothwell for Aribo.
On 80 minutes came a triple change, on came Sulemana, Fraser & Edozie, three wingers, Russell Martin was going for the jugular, but in truth they just got in each others way, on the left you had both Edozie and Fraser, it was just a traffic jam.
You also have to ask why Martin keeps taking off the second highest scorer in the division just when we need him most, to be blunt playing 3 wingers, but taking off your top scorer is just at best baffling and at worst very worrying.
For the last minutes we were just a disorganised rabble, there was no real pattern or game plan.
So it was no surprise when Cardiff scored.
I have thought long and hard since this game about just where we have been going wrong, I still maintain that we have the best squad in the division in terms of both quality and quantity, so why do we lose drop points in games like this far too often.
The answer is leadership, both on and off the pitch, I think Russell Martin has too much choice and doesn't know what to do for the best, when things go wrong he makes too many changes and dithers when things are going right.
The trick is to make subtle changes that add something to the side, whether it is fresh legs defensively or an attacking change.
But the real issue is leadership on the pitch, they say in football that a team should be 11 captains, but I struggle to name one in our squad who is leadership material, that is not the fault of the players, but of a failure to sign a leader.
Look at any good football team and you find the manager has made sure he has a leader on the pitch, look at Saints teams over the years, Lawrie McMenemy signed Alan Ball and then Jimmy Case, when Case retired there was Glenn Cockerill to step into the breach, then there was Claus Lundekvam & Jose Fonte, Ronald Koeman signed Steven Davis and Virgil Van Dijk, not all captains in name, but all were leaders on the pitch.
We do not have one, this game was like the defeat at Ipswich, we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory due to a lack of organisation and leadership on the pitch.
I worried about this back in August when Russell Martin placed his faith in Jack Stephens & then Adam Armstrong.
Stephens was not in any way shape or form to blame for this defeat, he wasn't on the pitch, but I knew he was not a leader of men and so did the players in the squad.
Adam Armstrong is a forward, Captain's should not be forwards, they play with their backs to the rest of the team most of the time, the Captain should be in a position of vision & control either in the defence or midfield.
It says it all when your Captain can't get in the team and just at the moment the team needs leadership, you take the man who is stepping into the shoes off the field.
So it looks like the play offs for Saints, the good news is that we have the ability to win them, we might be a disorganised rabble, but we have the quality to beat teams and sometimes teams dig in and win games in spite of their manager and not because of him.
I am still not sure what has gone wrong with the manager, he moulded a team that went 22 League games unbeaten, he had a side that although did lack leadership, all knew their jobs and what they had to do, then he tore it all apart, partly to play a favourite and when things went wrong he had a so many players he didn't know what to do with them all.
On Saturday that all came to a head and just when we needed a cool head at the helm both on and off the field there was nothing and we just charged forward and hoped for the best.