From the highs of the midweek win at Swansea to the lows of a tired, forlorn display and deserved defeat at Derby on Saturday, such is life on the road for QPR and LFW’s roving reporter Jamie Perry.
In Greek mythology, Sisyphus, king of Ephyra, decided to incur the wrath of Zeus by revealing one of his secrets to Asopus.
Now if you know even the slightest thing about Greek mythology - and, believe me, I do only know the slightest thing about Greek mythology, but there’s only so many words you can find about a limp 1-0 loss to Derby so you’ll have to bear with me - then you’ll know it’s not the greatest idea to piss off Zeus.
In response the ‘King of all Gods’ sent Thanatos, essentially death himself, to chain Sisyphus up (stop it) but after convincing the gods to let him back from the underworld to essentially scold his wife, Sisyphus refused to return and did a runner.
When Sisyphus returned many years later, either by dying of old age, or being dragged there by Hermes (one option slightly more preferrable than the other), he was punished for his earlier indiscretion by being forced to push a boulder up a hill until he was nearly at the top, at which point it would roll all the way back down and he would be forced to start over. This would continue over and over again, forever and ever. And ever and ever.
Queens Park Rangers arrived at Pride Park on Saturday eighth in the Championship, level on points with sixth, six wins in their last nine away games, actual real strikers doing actual real striker things and, in their way, stood a Derby team languishing in nineteenth, one win in their last six, one home win all season and that on Wednesday night against a Norwich side in open revolt against their owner and management who battered them for the whole of the first half.
Add into that a big away following and the fact this was game three of a three game week, two of which were away, and well if you weren’t a bit worried about what the Hoops were going to do here then go back down and grab that boulder again, I’m sure we’ll make it to the top next time. We’ve seen this one before.
As ever, Rangers put in a pretty toothless performance in these circumstances repeatedly giving the ball away cheaply and struggling against a Derby team that set up well in a back five and allowed the away side to have more of the possession - 62% of it - which we know is kryptonite to this QPR team.
Whenever Rangers did threaten to attack, they were often slow and ponderous. They’d advance up to about 30 yards from the opposition goal, but rarely further. More often than not they’d realise there was no way through before turning around and coming all the way back again. Frankly Sisyphean in their pursuit of this thankless task.
The only goal of the game offered up familiar failings as well. Ten minutes in, the home side had a corner half cleared and returned by Max Johnston with the outside of his boot into the R’s six-yard box. Again, stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Paul Nardi has to be coming to claim there. There may have been debate about the Millwall opener a week ago, but this one landed in the six yard box.
I have defended Nardi in my previous reports this season and made a big case for him post- Cov debacle, but I am getting to the stage where I think we need to see what can be done in this area in January. Whether the rumour of the return of Seny Dieng is the answer I am dubious of but if this continues the club may be forced to act.
The Frenchman’s refusal to come off his line allowed Sondre Langas to get around Rhys Norrington- Davies way too easily and poke the ball past the keeper for Carlton Morris to tap home from a yard out. The Hoops 1-0 down against a team you really don’t want to go 1-0 down against before we’d barely even started.
In all honesty the Rams had been the better team from minute one, winger Patrick Agyemang -not that one- repeatedly and comprehensively terrorising Jimmy Dunne and Amadou Mbengue down Rangers’ right. It was from this avenue that the corner for the goal was won in the first place. Annoyingly it appears this one, unlike our former charge, understands how to play football (and remain onside).
On 20 minutes, Derby came down the right again, Callum Elder’s cross was only cleared out to a Derby player on the opposite wing by Nicolas Madsen and following some interplay Johnston’s cross saw Morris get across Steve Cook and flick his header onto the roof of the net.
Soon, a long throw brought about another deal of panic and scrambled clearance and another dangerous cross for Elder, which saw Chilean/Stokie Ben Brereton-Diaz nip in front of Mbengue and force a Nardi save at the near post. Basically, the same scenario causing problems again, pushing that boulder up that hill over and over.
On 29, Mbengue came charging out towards the ball, as he’s wont to do, but was easily outmuscled and sent flying by Agyemang, setting the American off again into the clear blue water behind him and eventually seeing his shot from a tight angle come off Nardi and go out for a throw in.
QPR in reply offered only on a low cross from Richard Kone easily gathered by the keeper, and when the ball did eventually break to the Ivorian, from Norrington- Davies cross, Derby were quick to get out and block, although it wouldn’t of counted had it gone in due to an apparent foul by Rumarn Burrell on a Derby defender next to him.
To combat this at half-time Julien Stephan introduced Karamoko Dembele for Harvey Vale, who had come back into the side for Paul Smyth from the Swansea win and was largely ineffective, and Ilias Chair for Koki Saito, following the Moroccan’s impressive return cameo in Wales, but to be honest the R’s were fortunate Derby didn’t extend their lead in the second half.
On 63 minutes, one long ball caused havoc down the Rangers’ left and ended up with Mbengue killing a man to death just to the left of the penalty area – again, as he’s wont to do. The resulting free kick was whipped up and over the wall by Max Johnston and mercifully clipped the bar when a couple of inches lower and it was in.
A couple of minutes later and John Eustace’s side had an even better chance when a cheap free-kick was given away in midfield by Jonathan Varane, following Nardi’s clearance being charged down, and the ball was floated in for Mbengue to nearly provide an own- assist when his botched headed clearance found Brereton-Diaz completely unmarked a couple of yards from goal. Somehow the forward headed the ball onto the base of the post, rather than into the back of net. I think I would’ve fancied myself to score than one, a real let off.
Before all this of course Stéphan’s side could and probably should have been level. A thick clearing boot off another cross by Mbengue set Burrell off into the type of space he loves down Derby’s left. The Jamaican looked as though he had stalled with limited support and allowed the home defence to get back into shape but checked back and laid the ball back to Varane to deliver a gorgeous cross (it turns out this guy can play forward after all). There, completely unmarked in all kinds of space six-yards out, was Richard Kone. I would’ve bet everything I’ve ever owned, which to be fair isn’t a lot, on the ex- Wycombe man to hit the target from there but, somehow, he guided his header up and over the bar. Deep sigh.
Kone looked absolutely knackered yesterday. We’ve a week until the next game but then another three-game week which finishes with the third game away a long way from home. It’ll be interesting to see how Stéphan manages his star striker’s workload in that period. As much as I’m absolutely in love with the bloke and at times he’s seemed super human - you just look at those calf muscles and tell me that’s normal - it is worth remembering he’s only played 11 games of Championship football thus far, and was playing for Athletic Newham in the Essex Senior League a little under two years ago, before we declare that we’ve broken him already as I’ve seen some on social media fret over.
The rest of the game played out without any real bother from either team, Derby not really interested in attacking anymore, QPR still getting towards the Derby box before getting spooked and coming straight back. In his post-match with West London Sport, Stéphan admitted "We had a lack of ideas collectively in the final third”. I’d say that’s a bit of understatement Julien, you’d get better ideas from a brain’s trust of Wayne Rooney, Katie Price and Joey Essex than the Hoops showed on Saturday. Eustace to his credit played his old side well, definitely one in the plus common of the Eustace Enigma.
Ten from time, a Paul Smyth medium throw was half cleared and laid of the Varane. The midfielder decided to balloon a shot from long- range high into the sky. Absolutely braindead. The Frenchman, as he did last weekend against Millwall, had an absolute shocker here. Completely unwilling to progress the ball forward and too easy to get through, less midfield anchor, more accidently tying your foot to the thing and being dragged into the depths of the ocean below.
As Clive mentioned after Millwall, if Sam Field had put a performance like this then a mob with pitchforks and torches would have formed in the QPR Twittersphere to try and find him. After a relatively impressive performance on Wednesday night, Isaac Hayden was perhaps unfortunate to be dropped for this one and I expect will be recalled pretty sharpish.
Five minutes of injury time was called, the first of these included QPR’s only shot on target, Ilias Chair coming off the left for the long- range speculator he loves so much comfortably into the keeper’s gloves. If it takes until the 91st minute for you to get a shot on target, then you have absolutely only yourself to blame if you lose but the majority of the rest of injury time was taken up by a bizarre incident involving referee Elliot Bell.
When Derby goal scorer Carlton Morris was subbed on 92, he of course took his sweet time in doing so going across the pitch to teammates for a round of high- fives and hand shandies. So far so very shithouse. This saw him over by the far touchline and when Bell went over to inform him we were actually trying to play a game of football here, the striker completely ignored him and rather than going off at the nearest point he turned around and carried on his slow victory lap back towards the bench on the other touchline.
Bell of course did book Morris but I really don’t understand why referee’s allow their authority to be eroded like this, all day the ref had allow Derby to take the piss by killing the clock, especially over throws ins, and when the QPR players rightly questioned what on earth was going on here the official just shrugged as to say ‘what do you expect me to do?’.
I don’t know mate, it’s almost as if you’re meant to be in charge of this or something. Maybe make Morris go off at the nearest point rather than allow him to continue trudging around until he makes it back across the pitch, maybe if you’ve booked a player for time-wasting and he continues the take the piss then book him again. Just an idea.
As I said though, the ref wasn’t the reason the Hoops lost this game, and they proved this by continuing to piss the last few minutes away as they did the previous 93. The R’s pathetic in pink in a game which basically amounted to two mediocre teams just bumping into each other over and over again. The footballing equivalent of going to see a band with every single instrument out of tune.
Another enjoyable day out ruined by the football, upon arriving at Ye Olde Dolphin Inne in Derby before the match we were reliably informed that the pub was haunted and that a grand total of four (four Jeremy etc.) people had died in the room we were sat in. If death was a theme of the day, then QPR certainly played their part with a performance that was dead on arrival from the start.
It's infuriating how we can play so well against Bristol City and Stoke for example and then so poorly here against inferior opponents.
If we’re being kind, QPR have basically had five days straight on the road going from South Wales to Derbyshire, whereas their hosts had back-to-back home games and an extra day’s rest. Stéphan said as much in his post-match on the clubs’ socials, and it looked like it out there, but I do start to wonder if our underperformance in three-game weeks has actually become a psychological thing as well as physical. Every other Championship team has to deal with it as well remember and we actually have something approaching depth now in our squad. We are just almost uniquely shit at it.
As mentioned before, it’s another loss where we have had more of the ball. All of our last nine wins came with less possession going back to the 2-1 win at home against John Eustace’s Blackburn, that also includes the 4-0 win over this opposition in Eustace’s first game in charge of the Rams at Loftus Road a few weeks after that. Our former number two this time happy to let us have it and piss around with it.
A week’s rest and then another three-game week that includes home games against underperforming Ipswich and Southampton teams to come, you’d imagine that’s two teams there that will want a lot of the ball and give Rangers a chance to go back to what were good at, we’ll certainly need to after yesterday.
One to forget about and move on quickly.
Links >>> Ratings and Reports >>> Message Board Match Thread
Derby: Zetterstrom N/A; Langas 7, Sanderson 5, Clarke 6; Johnston 6 (Nyambe 88, -), Clark 7, Ozoh 6, Elder 6; Brereton- Diaz 6 (Jackson 72, 6), Agyemang 7 (Brewster 72, 5), Morris 6 (Salvesen 93, N/A)
Subs Not Used: Batth, Thompson, Vickers, Ward, Weimann
Goals: Morris 10 (assisted Langlas)
Yellow Cards: Ozoh 75 (foul), Morris 92 (being a knob)
QPR: Nardi 4; Dunne 4, Mbengue 4, Cook 4, Norrington- Davies 4 (Field 75, 4); Vale 4 (Dembele, 46, 4), Varane 3, Madsen 5 (Smyth 68, 5), Saito 4 (Chair 46, 5); Kone 4 (Frey, 68, 4), Burrell 5
Subs Not Used: Hamer, Hayden, Morgan, Morrison
Yellow Cards: Varane 69 (Foul), Cook 71 (Foul)
QPR Star Man: Romarn Burrell 5 I’m not really sure there really was a star man to be honest. I’ve gone for Burrell because a couple of times he got away down the flanks and tried to make things happen, the Kone chance for instance was a lot of his doing, but to be star man on a five says a lot.
Referee - Elliot Bell (Bootle) 4 A poor game not helped by a poor ref. The Morris debacle was an absolute farce and indicative of his approach to clock running throughout. He certainly loses a mark for that alone. It’s a shame as I actually think he did well at managing it when we last had him away at Oxford last year, typically of course that time it worked against Rangers. Probably a lot to be said for a ref promoted above his level too soon.
Attendance: 28,931 (2433 QPR) To have 2.5k people travel the best part of two hours to watch you only to be subjected to that performance is a shame. Once again our support both home and away recently has been fantastic. I guess it could be worse you could be that Chelsea ‘fan’ on twitter who went to watch ‘his team’ live for the first time in 20 years (conveniently almost exactly the same time as the Russian money came in) and live tweeted the game minute by minute, only for him to watch Sunderland score a 93rd minute winner. I’ll have another pint of that please, pour it in me.
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