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Random irritations.. 09:32 - Jun 10 with 182331 viewsDiscodroid

state funded schools in birmingham calling children to islamic prayer over the playground speakers, eschewing music lessons music, segregation... and the bbc doing a 'what are british values 'phone in this morning. cunnys.



evening standard , who seem to be phasing out their female genital mutilation wall to wall coverage , for a 'say no to rape in war' campaign. to be published in depth every night,, along with pictures of skinny london supermodels falling out of night clubson cocaine and articles on womens shoes and hanbags which cost £15,000 each.

and articles on 'suuuper property dahrling' that cost £25 million for a studio flat in barnes .tedious double page spreads on walthamstow village , sandwiches that are made by freegans for £50...and avante garde homosexual dance troops from slovienia .this paper says nothing at all to the average londoner.




musicals , and the cast's of musicals, especially amateur ones in church halls,romford, last saturday night.
[Post edited 10 Jun 2014 12:29]

" I guess in four or five years, the new generation's music will be .. electronics, tapes. I can kind of envision .. maybe one person .. with a lot of machines, tapes, and electronics setups, singin or speaking .. and using machines " James Douglas Morrison | 1969

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Random irritations.. on 15:03 - Jun 16 with 3983 viewsDiscodroids

tv presenters on the bbc for glastonbury, i simply dont care that you saw the charlatans in your pink wellies on the shitty pant stage , and there were like , amazzzzzzzzzzzzing .

i saw the fuc.kers at the electric ballroom in 1989 love , ripped to the tits on strawberry e's at £25 quid a pop that i bought off kevin rowlands , put that in yer hemp legal high pipe and smoke it.
[Post edited 16 Jun 2015 15:03]

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 15:21 - Jun 16 with 3960 viewsDiscodroids

watching gok wan waxing lyrical about the 'beautiful people of ascot 'while watching my £2 flutter horse finish tenth, in the coventry stakes, whilst eating a bowl of shredded wheat in my pants on my fishpools sofa.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 16:28 - Jun 16 with 3938 viewsDiscodroids

my bbq i bought in 'the range' , woodford last year for £69.99 last june and i havent used it once.

it just sits there thinking , like ronnie kray in solitary confinment.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 17:49 - Jun 16 with 3927 viewsR_from_afar

Random irritations.. on 11:16 - Jun 12 by Discodroids

being forced to go on company days out with clients and work colleagues..

i was made to go on a few golfing days at lloyds

always got teamed up with some simpering non marine quota share treaty, bolt through the neck, android who bored the fu cking shit out of every pore of my being.

i just cant play the jocular mein host when all i want to do is lay the jack of clubs playing card on their mangled llye and scott bodies on the 11th swirling green.

always take a phillips with you on such occasions to loosen the handrails in the disabled shithouse , then put on an oscar winning performance of moral outrage when someone tells you what has happened to some fackin raspberry whose fallen off the fackin pan and cracked the roof pallate of their mouth on the piss soaked concrete floor.

fackin skydiving is being muted aty my office...fack that!!

Can think of anything worse than jumping out of a plane for "fun" with someone you harbour sinister thoughts about killing and torturing for the other 364 days of the year.

Risking your life to save another exhibits massive minerals; doing it for cheap thrills is just plain irresponsible imho.


"being forced to go on company days out with clients and work colleagues.." I know what you mean but luckily, I don't get subjected to it often these days (cutbacks). That said, I have done my bit as you will find out: I had to go along to what was, for me, a truly horrific "team building" event.

Said event was a big secret. We were only told the location and the time. I turned up innocently expecting to be made to do communal problem-solving involving sticks and imaginary rivers. No such luck: we were going to be forced to act. Yes, like Sir Lenny Henry - act, on a stage, like a luvvie. My heart sunk. It was well over 30 years since I had been in a play and then I had been the narrator; easy, you can hide from the limelight and you are even allowed to have a script. Perfect.

But it got worse. This wasn't going to be "classical" acting, like Shakespeare. Oh no. We were going to be performing scenes out of "Chicago". I was already in shock but it now felt like someone was injecting wet cement into my entire body. At high pressure. There would be dancing, and I would be doing it. And acting at the same time. Kill me now, I thought.

It was ghastly and the pubic hair in the glass, metaphorically speaking, was that the big cheese who had organised this torture for us marketing drones had wimped out of participating. Too important, you see. I would've thought the whole point of a team building exercise was for the plebs and the big shot to be "all in it together" but oh no, he would turn up at the end to see us "perform".

I saw someone on here saying they deplore the incorrect use of "literally". Me too, but I genuinely believe that I would rather have literally drunk my own p1ss than go through that. If Bear can do it...

An awful experience.

RFA

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Random irritations.. on 16:04 - Jun 19 with 3859 viewsDiscodroids

my uncle phil in dagenham , a right prick.

he had a row with his sikh neighbour last year so he thought it would be high jinks to bar b que a brown mannequin with a turban on , dressed in a kilt on his huge bbq he had imported from australia , this things huge.. you could get a shaman to walk over the thing .

he digs graves for a living and lives in a small caravan at the bottom of his garden because my auntie hillary thinks he's such a cnt.

he also says "fabarooney' When you met him and crushes your hand into dust when you shake it in a display of alpha male preening.

he also writes '2 groats' or '4 scheckles' on the back of your birthday card for a laugh.

we consider him 'below stairs' as it were, and for us east ham linghorns , thats saying something.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 23:48 - Jun 19 with 3833 viewszicoshoops

Down the Allotment............ minding my own business..........getting stuff done.
Then bosh..............

Up pops some newbie youngster wanting to talk about growing Onions, and the PH level of my soil.

So I looked at the geezer.........(skinny Jeans..........grin like he'd won the f.ucking lottery)
and he started to tell me the best way to grow Onions.

Make me right, I'm an easy going sort of fella...............but I thought, I can't have this.
So I said.........

'PH levels?..........PH'ds.....PH bollocks son.
Look at them Onions.......most Onions you peel make your eyes water.........those Onions make your eyes water just looking at the f.uckers.
Anyway son......... I'm not being rude, but if I want to talk to youngster's, I'll go and visit a f.ucking Borstal.
You're not one of them that want's to save the Planet are you?.........'Cause round here no one gives a toss.

Welcome to the Allotment son.'

There are people on our Planet with no access to clean water.................and I've gotta deal with this?'

What's going on?

We should be told.

Sort it out.
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Random irritations.. on 01:17 - Jun 20 with 3820 viewsDorse

Pubs that serve food on a slate or a board or some other random piece of junk shop tat. They don't replace the cutlery with twigs or razor blades, so why take away a perfectly useful piece of kit like a plate?

These people disgust me.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Random irritations.. on 01:33 - Jun 20 with 3817 viewsPunteR

Random irritations.. on 01:17 - Jun 20 by Dorse

Pubs that serve food on a slate or a board or some other random piece of junk shop tat. They don't replace the cutlery with twigs or razor blades, so why take away a perfectly useful piece of kit like a plate?

These people disgust me.


I prefer food in a polystyrene cartan this time of night. Plates are overrated.

Bake my chicken

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Random irritations.. on 09:48 - Jun 20 with 3773 viewsDiscodroids

on the tele the thre other day i saw a geezer serve up a' red pepper emulsion' in in a 19th century silver hip flask .

i cannot confirm if the soup was matt, soft sheen , or satin.

next week, a man gets served tray baked cod on a bed of clipped runner beans, pancetta and pine nuts on a 16th century grandfather clock.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 11:05 - Jun 20 with 3759 viewsDorse

Random irritations.. on 09:48 - Jun 20 by Discodroids

on the tele the thre other day i saw a geezer serve up a' red pepper emulsion' in in a 19th century silver hip flask .

i cannot confirm if the soup was matt, soft sheen , or satin.

next week, a man gets served tray baked cod on a bed of clipped runner beans, pancetta and pine nuts on a 16th century grandfather clock.


Ha! Got me with the sting in the tail there!

While we're on the subject of food... Chefs who get a sauce and smear it over the plate before putting the food on top. I do not care to eat from a plate that looks like the gaudily-stained sump of a bag lady's pants. Give me back my fcuking slate.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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Random irritations.. on 23:45 - Jun 20 with 3704 viewsNortholt_Rs

Random irritations.. on 20:04 - Jun 15 by Dorse

Steve. Fcuking. Wright.



Look at him. Just look at him. And as for his 'posse'? What a collection of personality vacuums they are.
[Post edited 15 Jun 2015 20:07]


Phuck. He is a proper ugly khunt and no mistake.

Poll: Where will we finish next season?

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Random irritations.. on 10:54 - Jun 23 with 3647 viewsDiscodroids

to: letters@standard.co.uk
date: Tue, Jun 23, 2015 at 10:51 AM
subject: CARA DELEVINGNE/MIGRATION LEVELS
mailed-by: gmail.com

Dear Sirs,
If the incumbent Tory government should wish to curb Migration Levels into a crowded London, they need only to ship a few copies of the Standard to the besieged peoples of African/Middle East states. One glance of Cara existing, walking, talking and being on last nights pages 7, 17 & 30 may encourage them to stay at home. It certainly has that effect on the besieged peoples of the 6.13 liverpool street to chingford every night .

Glenn
north chingford.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 12:50 - Jun 23 with 3620 viewsR_from_afar

Random irritations.. on 15:03 - Jun 16 by Discodroids

tv presenters on the bbc for glastonbury, i simply dont care that you saw the charlatans in your pink wellies on the shitty pant stage , and there were like , amazzzzzzzzzzzzing .

i saw the fuc.kers at the electric ballroom in 1989 love , ripped to the tits on strawberry e's at £25 quid a pop that i bought off kevin rowlands , put that in yer hemp legal high pipe and smoke it.
[Post edited 16 Jun 2015 15:03]


Related to this, TV programmes about festivals in which breathless presenters with perfect skin endlessly enthuse about how great the bands were but then show you little or no actual footage of them.

Do we really need a programme in which the pundits tell you what a fab time they just had watching a set which licensing laws prevent Joe Punchclock from watching?

RFA

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Random irritations.. on 13:04 - Jun 23 with 3613 viewsR_from_afar

Restaurant critics on Masterchef. No dish is good enough for the delicate palate of these miserable, self-obsessed, drama queens.

While people in the third world try to subsist on "cakes" made of clay, salt and shortening, watch them whine about how a dish was "inedible" or "my worst nightmare".

And as for that Marcus Wareing, was he born that grumpy or did he have to take a course?

RFA

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Random irritations.. on 08:13 - Jun 24 with 3541 viewsPommyhoop

DI f'cking Y programs.. Dunno if they are still de rigueur back home but they are f'cking massive over here. 'The Block ' and 'Reno Rumble' are 2 that has Mrs Pom stuck to the box 'oohing' and 'ahhing''..
No love ,We are not knocking that f'cking wall out or putting a verticle garden in the bathroom..

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/55039027.jpg
Poll: When should Harry be sacked?

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Random irritations.. on 12:10 - Jun 29 with 3495 viewsDiscodroids

Random irritations.. on 08:13 - Jun 24 by Pommyhoop

DI f'cking Y programs.. Dunno if they are still de rigueur back home but they are f'cking massive over here. 'The Block ' and 'Reno Rumble' are 2 that has Mrs Pom stuck to the box 'oohing' and 'ahhing''..
No love ,We are not knocking that f'cking wall out or putting a verticle garden in the bathroom..


drinking alcohol. so bored of it.

drugs are off the menu, and ive got the sex drive of arthur mullard when confronted with a naked female over the age of 12.

ive abased myself in every way for the past 30 fukin years. whats next ? food ?, box sets?, the gym,, haberdashery ? take an interest in my children ??

i simply wish to lazily imbibe of the greatest pleasures known to humanity on a salary commensurate with a rising figure within the probation service.is that too much to ask.

probably.

i remember some Harkonen gadge in the book 'dune' was addicted to a Variant of the spice melange , 'Semuta' extracted from the burnt residue of elacca wood , which ,when used in conjunction with certain tonal resonations and vibrations keeps you rock hard and on a seemingly endless wave of ecstasy..
as i cast my eye over the sawn off panhandles in my vicinity this morning at work , i must seek the spice .
the spice must flow.
or something like that, in not to sure. i think im just a bit fked off..

cant wait for the football season to start.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 12:47 - Jun 29 with 3483 viewspaulparker

Random irritations.. on 12:10 - Jun 29 by Discodroids

drinking alcohol. so bored of it.

drugs are off the menu, and ive got the sex drive of arthur mullard when confronted with a naked female over the age of 12.

ive abased myself in every way for the past 30 fukin years. whats next ? food ?, box sets?, the gym,, haberdashery ? take an interest in my children ??

i simply wish to lazily imbibe of the greatest pleasures known to humanity on a salary commensurate with a rising figure within the probation service.is that too much to ask.

probably.

i remember some Harkonen gadge in the book 'dune' was addicted to a Variant of the spice melange , 'Semuta' extracted from the burnt residue of elacca wood , which ,when used in conjunction with certain tonal resonations and vibrations keeps you rock hard and on a seemingly endless wave of ecstasy..
as i cast my eye over the sawn off panhandles in my vicinity this morning at work , i must seek the spice .
the spice must flow.
or something like that, in not to sure. i think im just a bit fked off..

cant wait for the football season to start.


I know what you mean mate , problem is beer goes hand in hand with football so it's not going to ease up anytime soon
In my local most of the blokes in there are on cold turkey now that the football season has finished
Some of the discussions we are having are worst than some of the threads on here

“I wipe my ass with your feelings.” (Tony Soprano )

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Random irritations.. on 14:52 - Jun 29 with 3459 viewsDiscodroids

3rd world countries.

in these lean fiscal times where we are having to tighten our belt , cant sir bob geldof ask for a bit of our money back.

surely they must be over their problems by now.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 16:31 - Jun 29 with 3444 viewsjohncharles

Random irritations.. on 15:03 - Jun 16 by Discodroids

tv presenters on the bbc for glastonbury, i simply dont care that you saw the charlatans in your pink wellies on the shitty pant stage , and there were like , amazzzzzzzzzzzzing .

i saw the fuc.kers at the electric ballroom in 1989 love , ripped to the tits on strawberry e's at £25 quid a pop that i bought off kevin rowlands , put that in yer hemp legal high pipe and smoke it.
[Post edited 16 Jun 2015 15:03]


I'm told the Beeb are lining up Fiona Bruce and Alan Titmarsh for next year's bash

Strong and stable my arse.

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Random irritations.. on 14:38 - Jun 30 with 3390 viewsDiscodroids

This hot weather and having to wear a suit ....

it reminds me if an unsavoury episode in the city many moons since past.

it was boiling and as was my penchant ,a gram of beak was required to face the wife that evening in some sort of trancendal state ,as i couldnt stand the fuking cnt.

off i went to secure said purchase.

things being as they were i got cntd in the bar and razed the lot,so another purchase was the order of the day.

it was a very hot summer and the purchase had been incubating in my suit pocket for some time...by the time i got back to work the fuker had absorbed all the moisture and became this pasty unusable shit that resembled araldite.

in the staff kitchen i go and place the lottery ticket in the microwave(i was flying by now)

when the M.D. came in (the cnt has an MBE) And is fanatical about stamps.
he positioned himself in front of the micro and started talking about fcking japenese stamps that were printed upside down or one where the queens mum tit is missing , that are worth £50 million quid or some shit like that.

the micro was cracking away like popcorn while this boring arsehole witered on and on.
praying to god he wouldnt ask what was in it, i said "oh my toffee is burning " he looked at me like Dr Mengele does twins with similar hair growth patterns, and he fcked off sharpish.

all that was left was a burnt caramel like substance which i necked anyway. fck me it was horrible.

wearing suits in hot weather..gertcha.

'Dance At My Party'.

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Random irritations.. on 13:40 - Jul 1 with 3331 viewsR_from_afar

Random irritations.. on 14:38 - Jun 30 by Discodroids

This hot weather and having to wear a suit ....

it reminds me if an unsavoury episode in the city many moons since past.

it was boiling and as was my penchant ,a gram of beak was required to face the wife that evening in some sort of trancendal state ,as i couldnt stand the fuking cnt.

off i went to secure said purchase.

things being as they were i got cntd in the bar and razed the lot,so another purchase was the order of the day.

it was a very hot summer and the purchase had been incubating in my suit pocket for some time...by the time i got back to work the fuker had absorbed all the moisture and became this pasty unusable shit that resembled araldite.

in the staff kitchen i go and place the lottery ticket in the microwave(i was flying by now)

when the M.D. came in (the cnt has an MBE) And is fanatical about stamps.
he positioned himself in front of the micro and started talking about fcking japenese stamps that were printed upside down or one where the queens mum tit is missing , that are worth £50 million quid or some shit like that.

the micro was cracking away like popcorn while this boring arsehole witered on and on.
praying to god he wouldnt ask what was in it, i said "oh my toffee is burning " he looked at me like Dr Mengele does twins with similar hair growth patterns, and he fcked off sharpish.

all that was left was a burnt caramel like substance which i necked anyway. fck me it was horrible.

wearing suits in hot weather..gertcha.


Your story reminds me of a flatmate at uni. He went to the main city library in Southampton, did some research then headed home. Then he suddenly realised that he had left his bag behind. The doughball went back to get it only to find that someone had handed it in and the uni people had had a look at the contents, some of which were - d'oh - his stash. It was the 80s so he was swiftly arrested.

RFA

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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Random irritations.. on 09:56 - Jul 3 with 3306 viewsBluce_Ree

1. This heat. Oh man, f**k this heat. There's a reason all the hot countries in the world are tearing themselves apart. No one likes this much heat. Also, the additional lady bits we get to see come with a tax as all the horrific buttercreatures think it's okay to not cover up.

2. Bit more serious. This one minute silence today. I think we're all too quick to put a minute's silence on things. It should be reserved for things like WW2, acts of selfless bravery in unimaginable situations. Not because a group of people got incredibly unlucky on a beach. I feel for them and their families, I really do but I don't like showy displays of maudlin and this doesn't even feel like it's for them but just a bit of prescribed wallowing to make sure the tabloid readers buy into the next war we have.

Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore running down the wing. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore running down the wing. He runs like a cheetah. His crosses couldn't be sweeter. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore. Stefan Moore.
Poll: How far will we extend the away losses record?

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Random irritations.. on 16:22 - Jul 3 with 3275 viewsizlingtonhoop

Random irritations.. on 09:56 - Jul 3 by Bluce_Ree

1. This heat. Oh man, f**k this heat. There's a reason all the hot countries in the world are tearing themselves apart. No one likes this much heat. Also, the additional lady bits we get to see come with a tax as all the horrific buttercreatures think it's okay to not cover up.

2. Bit more serious. This one minute silence today. I think we're all too quick to put a minute's silence on things. It should be reserved for things like WW2, acts of selfless bravery in unimaginable situations. Not because a group of people got incredibly unlucky on a beach. I feel for them and their families, I really do but I don't like showy displays of maudlin and this doesn't even feel like it's for them but just a bit of prescribed wallowing to make sure the tabloid readers buy into the next war we have.


I think 2. goes for the RIP threads on here too.

Dave Sexton, relevant, Rik Mayall, important to most.

But some, this week we've had the bassist from Yes, and a horse. Yes, a horse.
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Random irritations.. on 17:02 - Jul 3 with 3260 viewsFDC

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Random irritations.. on 17:24 - Jul 4 with 3184 viewsFDC

Random irritations.. on 17:02 - Jul 3 by FDC



... also, any gentrification-wart, hipster fcking bar with some infantile fcking theme. Take your breakfast cereal gimmick, and your working-class fetish and ram it right up your parent's bank account you utter slime. Much obliged.
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