| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? 01:53 - Mar 18 with 6626 views | superhoopdownunder |
I was thinking this morning what would certain players be if they did not turn out to be professional footballers - an example being Charlie Austin as a bricklayer before making it as a professional footballer
Maybe Harry Redknapp would be a second hand car salesman
Armand Traore would probably be on the dole
John Terry would be a small time criminal
Vinnie Jones an actor?
Adel Taarabt - world champion of competitive eating (apparently this is a sport)
Any other suggestions about alternate careers for any players or managers?
Cheers
[Post edited 18 Mar 2016 1:55]
|  | | |  |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 04:04 - Mar 18 with 4932 views | PerthRs |
To quote Peter Crouch when he was asked what would he be if he was not a professional footballer he said I'd be a Virgin!!!! |  | | |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 07:24 - Mar 18 with 4865 views | freddieeddie |
Traore would be unemployed and still living at home too scared to face the world and working life. I'd have money on it.
Bosingwa would be unemployed but a police grass. Slippery horrible Boswan*er that he is.
Hoilett would be a very poorly paid film/TV extra. His main role would be being a double for 'Little Britain' . His ars* would be used as a double for the two huge fat ladies in the Sauna.
Clint Hill, Jamie Mackie and Shaun Derry would be in the army.
Joey Barton would have been kicked out the army and now in prison.
Gavin McGuire (Psycho) serving life in prison.
Goran Sven Erikkson - Peado
Rooney - Unemployed, petty thief, living at home, single.
Peter Beardsley - Works in a factory, becoming famous local for starring in latest series of the 'Undateables'. | |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 08:40 - Mar 18 with 4821 views | londonscottish |
Vinnie Jones is a violent knut and would have been in an out a few times by now. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 08:52 - Mar 18 with 4794 views | Discodroids |
Traore would be selling Mobile phones that no fuker over 25 can understand in any number of provincial shopping centres in sundry backwaters of the Country.
calls the customers 'blood' , even wilf the 90 year old d day war veteran who has come in for one of those simple phones that has huge numbers on them for pensioners that retail for about £25, so the poor cnt can talk to his niece in Australia.
poor wilf leaves with a phone that costs £575 and which can test the ph value of the soil on mars, but cant make phone calls.
Traore laughs his head off at poor wilf, and spends his vast commission on khat leaves straight of the rock chang and eastern european whores down ilford lane , before giving them a hot shot of ketamine in their groin and dumps them in the river roding.
Thats Armand Traore that is. [Post edited 18 Mar 2016 8:53]
|  |
| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:15 - Mar 18 with 4767 views | A40Bosh |
FAO Norf!
Clive, this has happened to me before not sure if you are aware - I thought we had this same subject discussed before (because I started a thread on Clint Hill being a white van driver) and I have just gone and searched on Google and found a similiar thread but when you click on the link it takes you on to a Planet Swans Forum. Looks like archiving to the database is putting Loftforwords threads in the Swanseas forum.
The time I did the search before I did not notice where it took me and I posted something on to the thread and next things a load of swans were coming on asking "what the fcuk is going on here" so I quickly deleted it.
http://www.fansnetwork.co.uk/football/swanseacity/forum/140995/player-alternativ |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:15 - Mar 18 with 4763 views | jamois |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 08:52 - Mar 18 by Discodroids |
Traore would be selling Mobile phones that no fuker over 25 can understand in any number of provincial shopping centres in sundry backwaters of the Country.
calls the customers 'blood' , even wilf the 90 year old d day war veteran who has come in for one of those simple phones that has huge numbers on them for pensioners that retail for about £25, so the poor cnt can talk to his niece in Australia.
poor wilf leaves with a phone that costs £575 and which can test the ph value of the soil on mars, but cant make phone calls.
Traore laughs his head off at poor wilf, and spends his vast commission on khat leaves straight of the rock chang and eastern european whores down ilford lane , before giving them a hot shot of ketamine in their groin and dumps them in the river roding.
Thats Armand Traore that is. [Post edited 18 Mar 2016 8:53]
|
lovely to hear from you disco. hot shots in the groin and river dumping!!! lol. i think armand would also spend hours sculpting additional facial hair acoutrements from a shard of broken mirror next to his bed roll every morning - de rigour for mobile phone shops. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:19 - Mar 18 with 4751 views | Bluce_Ree |
Rob Green - Prime Minister
Stefan Moore - cheetah |  |
| ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH MARTI THE REDEEMER WHO STRENGTHENS ME. |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:21 - Mar 18 with 4746 views | Mick_S |
Lab technician. |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
| |
Login to get fewer ads
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:30 - Mar 18 with 4726 views | A40Bosh |
Mackie - Local gym instructor, lovely chap, just kills you.
Polter - singer or guitarist in some noisy band that Talli would probably like
Faurlin - either sticking to what he was deemed to be the first time this thread did the rounds, about 5 yrs ago, he either would still be a hairdresser in a salon on Chiswick high road or, now we know his nocturnal habits, a Barista at the Argentian Coffee shop off Chiswick High Road | |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:30 - Mar 18 with 4725 views | Discodroids |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 09:15 - Mar 18 by jamois |
lovely to hear from you disco. hot shots in the groin and river dumping!!! lol. i think armand would also spend hours sculpting additional facial hair acoutrements from a shard of broken mirror next to his bed roll every morning - de rigour for mobile phone shops. |
watcha Jamois. keep it under your hat but i dont like Traore much!.
Niko Krancjar would be A pound shop Gigolo.
An all- eggs- in- one- basket , simpering pan pipe playing assassin of middle aged womens purses.
Cutting the threads on his frayed cuffs before splashing on the Tabac aftershave, he heads out for the night , A Vampire for divorcees fiscal nest eggs. Taking them out for a sensibly priced meal then thrusting away for all his worth with one eye on her post office saving savings account , so he can jack up on peanut buttered pancakes, before blowing his poncy, perfumed beauty spotted , beau brumel muck into a ribbed rubber.
 [Post edited 18 Mar 2016 9:31]
| |
| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 10:11 - Mar 18 with 4660 views | paulparker |
Matt Phillips- would be a gym instructor, the sort with rippling muscles who hangs around the weights on his mobile and sh aging all the Milfs who frequent it in the day
Rob Green- vicar or social worker
Traore - one of those annoying call centre workers who calls you at 8 in the evening and calls you bruv
Steve McLaren - local butcher
Steve Bruce - Publican, runs a tight ship and stands at the end of the bar with a pint all night with is regulars whilst the missus does all the serving
Harry Kane - works in sports direct selling trainers and helping get down the Lonsdale tracksuit bottoms from the top shelf |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
|
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 10:18 - Mar 18 with 4639 views | Northernr |
Alan Curbishley - South London mini cab firm operator, almost certainly based at a suburban train station in the Penge area.
Mick Harford - do you a good deal on a lurcher round the back of a flat roof pub.
This post has been edited by an administrator |  | | |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 10:30 - Mar 18 with 4614 views | jamois |
Garth Crooks - private investigator
Sergio Aguero - hit man
Yaya Toure - undertaker
Mark Lawrensen - punch and judy shows | |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 10:32 - Mar 18 with 4602 views | Monahoop |
Rob Greene. Dustman. Sorry, waste consultant.
Wayne Rooney and John Terry. Regulars on the Jeremy Kyle show.
Glen Hoddle. Sinister priest.
David Moyes. Psychopathic Glaswegian PE teacher.
Louis Van Gaal. Max Headroom impersonater.
Harry Redknapp. Spiv.
Jose Mourinho. Oil slick. |  |
| There aint half been some clever bastards. |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 10:55 - Mar 18 with 4569 views | MrSheen |
Polter - porn star
Clint - pest exterminator
Perch - Big Issue salesman
Ned - TV evangelist
Konch - shifty detective constable [Post edited 18 Mar 2016 11:03]
|  | | |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 11:15 - Mar 18 with 4540 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
Rob Green....
 |  | | |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 11:20 - Mar 18 with 4533 views | CamberleyR |
The vast majority of them, bar the odd one or two who do have some brain cells would be flipping burgers in Maccy Ds. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 11:23 - Mar 18 with 4525 views | aston_hoop |
JET - minimum wage bouncer at a nightclub who acts like a prick just for the hell of it.
Tjaronn Chery - Dancer in a shite europop band from the 90s
Mass Luongo - Gap year barman in London
Nasser Al Khayati - Barman in a Moroccan holiday resort who offers fat British hen party girls cheap shots and sleeps with them
Alex Smithies - down t'pit
Oscar Gobern - On the missing persons list |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 11:46 - Mar 18 with 4465 views | TacticalR |
Joey would be in a Turkish prison. Or Emeritus Professor of Philosophy at the University of Heidelberg. Or both. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 12:02 - Mar 18 with 4432 views | paulparker |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 11:23 - Mar 18 by aston_hoop |
JET - minimum wage bouncer at a nightclub who acts like a prick just for the hell of it.
Tjaronn Chery - Dancer in a shite europop band from the 90s
Mass Luongo - Gap year barman in London
Nasser Al Khayati - Barman in a Moroccan holiday resort who offers fat British hen party girls cheap shots and sleeps with them
Alex Smithies - down t'pit
Oscar Gobern - On the missing persons list |
Very Good  | |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
|
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 13:00 - Mar 18 with 4383 views | PlanetHonneywood |
Not sure what careers some would have, but I'd be surprised if Joey Barton hadn't appeared on the Jeremy Kyle Show. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 13:35 - Mar 18 with 4335 views | headhoops |
Paul Knochesky would be a professional british bulldog instructor. Being out run by six year old kids who laugh at him as he tries to grab them as they glide by. |  |
| |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 13:43 - Mar 18 with 4320 views | A40Bosh |
| What would they be if they were not professional footballers? on 13:35 - Mar 18 by headhoops |
Paul Knochesky would be a professional british bulldog instructor. Being out run by six year old kids who laugh at him as he tries to grab them as they glide by. |
Whilst running a pie an mash shop as a sideline? | |
| |
| |
By continuing to use the site, you agree to our use of cookies and to abide by our Terms and Conditions.
