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We used to live in Batheaston and there was a fruit farm just down the road that sold rough scrumpy in either Dry (which would strip the enamel from your teeth) or Sweet (which was anything but, and would cause a gastrointestinal melt-down of Krakatoan proportions) both coming in at about 8%. I would take savage pleasure in offering this local delicacy to visiting friends / relations / t wats and watching their inevitable and slow deaths.
Muahahahahaa-ooar!
'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'