| A man takes his dog to the vet... 16:42 - Sep 22 with 2910 views | qprxtc |
The vet says "I'm sorry sir but I'm going to have to put your dog down". Man says "Oh my God, why?". Vet says "Because he's bloody heavy". |  | | |  |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 20:32 - Sep 22 with 2657 views | WokingR |
On behalf of us all, thank you so much for that.
Please shut the door on your way out. |  | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 20:32 - Sep 22 with 2655 views | enfieldargh |
A man rushes his limp dog to the vet. The vet pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.
The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."
The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "£1500"
"£1500 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you £50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional £1450 is for the cat scan and lab tests." |  |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 21:01 - Sep 22 with 2604 views | kensalriser |
Sorry, but on a forum where the benchmark is paulparker having to endure a Pet Shop Boys performance with soiled pants, you're going to have to up your game. |  |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 22:04 - Sep 22 with 2510 views | ichbinnaughty |
People think I'm stupid because I've got a lisp.
I'm thick of it. |  | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:13 - Sep 23 with 2278 views | Dorse |
I met a dyslexic Devil Worshipper the other day who'd sold his soul to Santa, |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 with 2247 views | hubble |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:13 - Sep 23 by Dorse |
I met a dyslexic Devil Worshipper the other day who'd sold his soul to Santa, |
What happened? |  |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:56 - Sep 23 with 2206 views | isawqpratwcity |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 by hubble |
What happened? |
He walked into a bra... |  |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 11:35 - Sep 23 with 2124 views | welwynranger |
I was so shocked when my doctor told me I was dyslexic.
I shouted " Oh my dog" |  | | |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 11:39 - Sep 23 with 2118 views | Hadders |
Doctor: I am so sorry, but you only have a week to live.
Patient: What? Oh my God! Can I have a second opinion?
Doctor: Of course you can... You're ugly, too. | | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:29 - Sep 23 with 2064 views | Dorse |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 10:24 - Sep 23 by hubble |
What happened? |
He wanted to be a pimp but sadly bought a warehouse. | |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:37 - Sep 23 with 2052 views | Mick_S |
Walked passed the fridge earlier and thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gee song but when I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talking |  |
| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:00 - Sep 23 with 1995 views | welwynranger |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 12:37 - Sep 23 by Mick_S |
Walked passed the fridge earlier and thought I heard an onion singing a Bee Gee song but when I opened the fridge door it was just a chive talking |
What do you call a cowboys car?
" AUDI " | | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:04 - Sep 23 with 1988 views | LunarJetman |
A deaf leprechaun granted me a wish and now I've got a 12 inch pianist. |  | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:08 - Sep 23 with 1979 views | Mick_S |
What happened to Mary Quant?
Max Factor.
“I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle?’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he?'”
[Post edited 23 Sep 2017 13:13]
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| Did I ever mention that I was in Minder? |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 17:40 - Sep 23 with 1775 views | qprxtc |
Sean Connery's agent says to him: "Sean, I've got you a great role, you start tomorrow, they want you there for ten-ish". Connery: "Tenish? But I don't even have a racket". | | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:20 - Sep 23 with 1743 views | smegma |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 13:04 - Sep 23 by LunarJetman |
A deaf leprechaun granted me a wish and now I've got a 12 inch pianist. |
So your not Lukaku then ? | | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:28 - Sep 23 with 1725 views | northampton_hoop |
Two birds are sat on a perch, one says to the other "can you smell fish?" |  | | |
| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 18:30 - Sep 23 with 1713 views | ShotKneesHoop |
The other said "No, bream me up Scotty" |  |
| Why does it feel like R'SWiPe is still on the books? Yer Couldn't Make It Up.Well Done Me! |
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| A man takes his dog to the vet... on 01:10 - Sep 26 with 1269 views | FredManRave |
Talking of dogs, I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. |  |
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