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Completely tame this year at my end Our “official company do” was total shite with an obsession of not spending more than £50 a person to ensure “corporate guidelines and governance” were met. We booked a side bar in a central London hotel a couple of Wednesdays ago and it was so dirge I bailed out at 11:00pm to save mysel for a slightly better one the next evening The only thing of note was Lou, the quietest girl in the office, getting drunk and threatening to dance on a table. Sadly her mate persuaded her not to.
Years gone by at previous companies there’s been tails of exotic dancing, Receptionists vomiting into their handbags and fellatio under tables
Anyone done a walk of shame this year?
Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal
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Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 09:17 - Dec 15 with 7447 views
I don't Know L block me old mate, As the Christmas party season is fast approaching like Pietro Mennea on Alan Wells Shoulder in the last 5 meters of the 200, Im Just back from the wine factory on Leigh on sea Broadway. The sights i witnessed on my christmas shop sickened this poster, seeing the commercialised credo, Mantra and doctrines of christmas in England 2017.
Celebrating the birth of Christ and the true meaning of christmas , I purchased 2 crates of Lone star Lager, One crate of castle lager, 28 bottles of superbock, 56 bottles of Sagres, 6 bottles of remedial vodka, 1 value whiskey, 2 icelandic Gin and 5 bottles of monkey Shoulder rum to cover the Christmas comedown period and negate the 1000 yard stare of the mother in law over xmas lunch.
On top of that, The local dealer has dropped off 6 wrap grams of translucent petrol washed south american quaker oats and 5 bottles of liquid gold Amyl nitrate, plus a dozen micky mills for £800 all f ucking in.
Honestly, if it wasn't for the kids I wouldn't f ucking bother. Just to see the wee bairns faces light up on christmas morning when they catch their daddy under the tree at 5.30 am out of his cannister shagging the chestnut stuffing into a pulp in sexual Synchronicity to the haunting and hypnotic christmas anthem of steel eye spans 'gaudet', makes it all worthwhile.
[Post edited 15 Dec 2017 9:19]
"...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn."
12
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 09:41 - Dec 15 with 7403 views
Mine starts in 2 hours. Just time to buy a ticket for the Millwall game once they go on general sale, pretend to read some emails and listen to some music to get me in the mood
I went to a really good one this year but had to bail early as the FIL has been ill (he's just finashed 6 lots of chemo) and I was off to see him first thing the next day.
I legged it out of the roaring bar in Shoreditch just before 12.00 (knowing that if I stayed a minute longer it would be a 3.00 exit.....).
Did a pissed power walk to Liverpool St station and down to the platform when I suddenly remembered I'd forgotten to take a leak when i was sneaking off. As soon as i though of it I became desperate. I and ran all the way back up the platform, over the bridge and out into the street. By the time McDonalds hove into view I had nano-seconds left and it was all way too late. I was reduced to hosing a gallon out behind some bins on the concourse....and half way down my the leg of my suit.
Got back to the tube (covering my sodden trouser leg with my coat) and jumped on the train. Woke up 45 mins later in Wembley Park (fuuuuck) did a sprint round the station and got on a train back to Willesden at 1.00am.
My mates carried on to various points in the night - 3.00am, 5.00am and the youngest fella ended getting in at 7.30.
All in all I got way pretty lightly and was in good shape the next day. Going to drop the trousers at the dry cleaners today, though.
me and my lady got together at a work Christmas party so fair to say she is a little paranoid about me at them now ha ha. She was alright this year but mainly because the last two years i havent really gone big.
Ours started at a casino in stratford. worst food ever and then i got a bit fed up of the sales team flashing cash and being idiots so bailed when they went on to a rooftop bar in the west end. shame as that part would have been good.
Stories of a french girl from another office dancing like a stripper...licking ice cubes, grabbing crotches and generally offering a few men some company for the night. seems i missed out ;)
1
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 10:27 - Dec 15 with 7319 views
I'm quite good by my standards but I once pulled a girl wearing full Shagrath face paint.
Ended up one year having a chat with an alchy tramp on the Shepherds Bush Green while waiting for a 295 when a lot of trendy blokes and girls went past. For reasons known only to them two abused us as they thought I was a tramp too Got up on my knees and in best Latymer voice asked them if they cared to come and repeat it. (they declined) I turned to the tramp and he looked so happy and grateful he offered me his bottle of something clear in an unlabled bottle. (I declined) I guess he got abuse all the time and no one had ever stood up for him before.
Happy F'kin Christmas
Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent
Was meant to be going to Plumpton Races on Monday for ours, bit of an all dayer. Not sure I'm going to make it though as right now I'm confined to my matress with this festive flu nonsense. One minute I'm hungary the next I feel sick hot, cold - its a nightmare.
The plus side is that it'll probably save me a couple of hundred quid which I'll re-invest in some fine cognac.
0
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 10:43 - Dec 15 with 7273 views
Ours was last night and was pretty tame considering I'm up already.
The big boss turned up and she put a damper on everything.
The only laugh out loud moment was one of the old boys telling one of the younger girls she had put a load of timber on and asked her if her boyfriend was a feeder. She proceeded to dump a pint over his head and got thrown out crying her eyes out!
3
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 12:05 - Dec 15 with 7163 views
Cant remember the last xmas do I went on tbh, I cant stand them , Back in the day they were quite good especially if you worked with decent people generally they are like people out on NYE ie a real pain in the arse , full of fat birds and divs wearing xmas jumpers one company I worked for all the "sales" lads got beaten up in a mass brawl and the mini bus had to stop off at the nearest hospital, (how I laughed ) in saying all that I met Mrs P on an xmas do , so say no more
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
1
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 12:11 - Dec 15 with 7160 views
Ours is next Tuesday, lunch by the Thames with a group of friends who work for various companies we place business with. Will degenerate during the evening in a most magnificent fashion! Aiming for the last train back to MK, but we’ll see.
Mine was last night. I was pretty ill but weathered it and had a lovely time. Particularly enjoyed boring the ear off two coworkers who were clearly desperate to bosh each other. Home at 2am, better than last years's 9:30pm (unlimited old fashioneds=bad) and the year before's 7am
0
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 12:36 - Dec 15 with 7106 views
One of the best work Christmas parties I've been was my brother's when i convinced him to order a couple of bottles of champagne on the company credit card. He ordered the two most expensive bottles in the bar which clocked in at just under 4 bags. Took some explaining at work the next day.
My worst experience was going to Angels on Wardour street and waking up fully clothed to find a few grands worth of receipts. Still convinced to this day that they spiked my drink and robbed me blind. Not been to a lappy's since.
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Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 13:21 - Dec 15 with 7027 views
Never been to a Christmas related 'Do'. The lads who work for me get a bottle of booze and an envelope stuffed with cash. They appear to quite like the arrangement.
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 10:27 - Dec 15 by CroydonCaptJack
Was Felattio the Italian QS LBlock?
Unfortunately it was not me getting my appendage drained by the chubby site secretary who looked like she was re-enacting trying to drain a water butt with a small cut off piece of garden hose.
We do however have an Italian flavour in the current company al of who actually sound like they are putting their accents on and I expect them to offer me breadsticks and olive oil whenever they approach my desk. One of them you most certainly would - just the right amount of dolmio sauce about her.
Well it sounds like a few of the LFW fratt have had some blinders this year. You lucky farkers. If nothing else I've added the Holbern Dining Rooms to my list. Had a G&T in there last year but was only a pit stop and the booths etc did look nice.
All off to Disco's then for the 1,000 yard stare and pass the parcel of Bolivian uncut oats then.......... Peace
Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal
3
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 13:53 - Dec 15 with 6944 views
We used to do the Harlesden/Park Royal pubs and on one occasion camped out in the Crown, Harlesden High Street from midday till midnight. My entire staff got arrested for fighting outside the KFC.
We'd all left together, I headed home for Ealing, they all lived the other way between Harlesden and Cricklewood. I only found out first day back in Jan as roughly once an hour one of them would come up and ask for the Thursday off. When it got to about the fourth one I asked WTF was going on and one finally admitted what happened, they were all heading for an appearance at Willesden Court.
4
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 14:09 - Dec 15 with 6911 views
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 09:17 - Dec 15 by Discodroids
I don't Know L block me old mate, As the Christmas party season is fast approaching like Pietro Mennea on Alan Wells Shoulder in the last 5 meters of the 200, Im Just back from the wine factory on Leigh on sea Broadway. The sights i witnessed on my christmas shop sickened this poster, seeing the commercialised credo, Mantra and doctrines of christmas in England 2017.
Celebrating the birth of Christ and the true meaning of christmas , I purchased 2 crates of Lone star Lager, One crate of castle lager, 28 bottles of superbock, 56 bottles of Sagres, 6 bottles of remedial vodka, 1 value whiskey, 2 icelandic Gin and 5 bottles of monkey Shoulder rum to cover the Christmas comedown period and negate the 1000 yard stare of the mother in law over xmas lunch.
On top of that, The local dealer has dropped off 6 wrap grams of translucent petrol washed south american quaker oats and 5 bottles of liquid gold Amyl nitrate, plus a dozen micky mills for £800 all f ucking in.
Honestly, if it wasn't for the kids I wouldn't f ucking bother. Just to see the wee bairns faces light up on christmas morning when they catch their daddy under the tree at 5.30 am out of his cannister shagging the chestnut stuffing into a pulp in sexual Synchronicity to the haunting and hypnotic christmas anthem of steel eye spans 'gaudet', makes it all worthwhile.
[Post edited 15 Dec 2017 9:19]
That's quite a consignment! So you're planning a quiet one? And why no sherry? It's very seasonal, don't you know?
I skipped the Christmas party to play sub-zero football last night. The big polar bear up front held the ball well and the two narwhals at centre back were rock solid...
RFA
"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."
1
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 15:42 - Dec 15 with 6799 views
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 09:41 - Dec 15 by londonscottish
I went to a really good one this year but had to bail early as the FIL has been ill (he's just finashed 6 lots of chemo) and I was off to see him first thing the next day.
I legged it out of the roaring bar in Shoreditch just before 12.00 (knowing that if I stayed a minute longer it would be a 3.00 exit.....).
Did a pissed power walk to Liverpool St station and down to the platform when I suddenly remembered I'd forgotten to take a leak when i was sneaking off. As soon as i though of it I became desperate. I and ran all the way back up the platform, over the bridge and out into the street. By the time McDonalds hove into view I had nano-seconds left and it was all way too late. I was reduced to hosing a gallon out behind some bins on the concourse....and half way down my the leg of my suit.
Got back to the tube (covering my sodden trouser leg with my coat) and jumped on the train. Woke up 45 mins later in Wembley Park (fuuuuck) did a sprint round the station and got on a train back to Willesden at 1.00am.
My mates carried on to various points in the night - 3.00am, 5.00am and the youngest fella ended getting in at 7.30.
All in all I got way pretty lightly and was in good shape the next day. Going to drop the trousers at the dry cleaners today, though.
Brilliant. It's not really Christmas until someone has pished themselves.
0
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 15:47 - Dec 15 with 6784 views
Your Christmas Party Shenanigans on 13:53 - Dec 15 by stevec
Most memorable one for me was about 25 years ago.
We used to do the Harlesden/Park Royal pubs and on one occasion camped out in the Crown, Harlesden High Street from midday till midnight. My entire staff got arrested for fighting outside the KFC.
We'd all left together, I headed home for Ealing, they all lived the other way between Harlesden and Cricklewood. I only found out first day back in Jan as roughly once an hour one of them would come up and ask for the Thursday off. When it got to about the fourth one I asked WTF was going on and one finally admitted what happened, they were all heading for an appearance at Willesden Court.
that's quality Steve
And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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that's quality Steve