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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 89439 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 00:22 - Oct 12 with 1945 viewsBoston

How did Moses make tea?

Hebrews it.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 00:25 - Oct 12 with 1941 viewsBoston

Y'know why you can never call a pirate?

They leave the phone off the hook.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 14:20 - Oct 12 with 1831 viewsBoston

Winters on its way and I've discovered a quick way to warm up is to stand in a corner...its usually 90 degrees.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 17:48 - Oct 12 with 1791 viewsacricketer

My wife accused me of being immature.

I told her to get out of my fort!
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:50 - Oct 12 with 1789 viewsacricketer

My grandfather has the heart of a lion...and a lifetime ban at the zoo.
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:52 - Oct 12 with 1787 viewsacricketer

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did!
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Corny Joke Warning on 18:13 - Oct 14 with 1592 viewsEsox_Lucius

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, & flabbergasted.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

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Corny Joke Warning on 22:31 - Oct 16 with 1440 viewsacricketer

I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:33 - Oct 16 with 1436 viewsacricketer

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one'
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:34 - Oct 16 with 1435 viewsacricketer

I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:37 - Oct 16 with 1432 viewsacricketer

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:42 - Oct 16 with 1427 viewsacricketer

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
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Corny Joke Warning on 11:20 - Oct 17 with 1334 viewsEsox_Lucius

I Googled ‘lost medieval servant boy’ and got ‘Page not found.’

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

4

Corny Joke Warning on 14:27 - Oct 19 with 1184 viewsEsox_Lucius

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation, by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' topless blonde came walking

straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.

As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous topless blonde came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them and said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.'

'Yes, Father?'

'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen'

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

4

Corny Joke Warning on 21:52 - Oct 20 with 1091 viewsacricketer

A man is getting a checkup.

Doctor: "You have to stop masturbating."

Man: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you."
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Corny Joke Warning on 22:30 - Oct 20 with 1073 viewsjohann28

Detroit football having a bad time. Someone says to the scouting guy - look, all you have to do is go abroad, hundreds of great trainable guys, dying to get out ...

Scout says hey ho etc, picks out some guy from Beirut. Looks great, ships him him over - instant sensation, scores, defends, runs, etc; celebrity status, ferrari, gold watch, tv appearances ..

Anyway, the guy rings his mu between shows 'How ya doin' mum?'
Mum: ' oh its you, you fkg bastard. i tell you how i'm doing you fkg kunt, i've got american helicopters overhead 24/7, i've got babies screaming on the street, dogs howling, police shooting people, dad and me cowering in our flat wondering when it;s safe to go out for a pint of milk ..... i'll never never ever forgive you...

For bringing us to Detroit'
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:34 - Oct 24 with 928 viewsdontknowitall

Sad, sad people who are setting off fireworks in the middle of October. One frightened the cat so much it ran up the Christmas tree.......
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Corny Joke Warning on 16:58 - Oct 24 with 909 viewsBoston

Why do blondes in San Francisco not wear mini skirts?

Because their balls show.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1

Corny Joke Warning on 17:19 - Oct 24 with 889 viewsBoston

My youngest girl was teaching class and asked a pupil,”how much is a gram?”

He replied that it would depend upon how much she needed.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 15:29 - Oct 25 with 765 viewsBoston

What’s the difference between a fridge and anal sex?

Fridge doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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Corny Joke Warning on 10:42 - Oct 26 with 640 viewsEsox_Lucius

I have invented a new aftershave for men; it's called 'Breadcrumbs'. The birds love it.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

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Corny Joke Warning on 12:45 - Oct 26 with 612 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 10:42 - Oct 26 by Esox_Lucius

I have invented a new aftershave for men; it's called 'Breadcrumbs'. The birds love it.


Thanks Esox, since I tried it, I’m top of the pecking order.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1

Corny Joke Warning on 16:48 - Oct 26 with 552 viewshubble

.
What do you call a messiah with nice eyebrows?
.
.
Tweezers Christ.
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Corny Joke Warning on 17:58 - Oct 26 with 516 viewswelwynranger

Corny Joke Warning on 22:51 - Aug 17 by BathRanger

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.


There are only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas. Because it's noel
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Corny Joke Warning on 19:07 - Oct 26 with 492 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 17:58 - Oct 26 by welwynranger

There are only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas. Because it's noel


Actually I'm mates with 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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