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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 655879 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 20:05 - Apr 26 with 6820 viewsBoston

My wife goes ballistic if I mess with her wine

The other day I accidently dropped some fruit into it

Now she's sangria than ever.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

6
Corny Joke Warning on 20:20 - Apr 26 with 6804 viewsBoston

There's a bloke stealing I-Phones all over London

One of these days he's going to face time.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 22:15 - Apr 27 with 6663 viewsEsox_Lucius

I've written some instructions on how to fall down stairs:
Step 1.
.
.
.
.
.
Step 6
.
.
.
.
.
Step 11

The grass is always greener.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 08:51 - Apr 28 with 6613 viewsEsox_Lucius

I have just started a yacht building business in my garage. Sails are through the roof.

The grass is always greener.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 13:59 - Apr 28 with 6587 viewsEsox_Lucius

A lot of people have accused me of plagiarism; their words, not mine.

The grass is always greener.

4
Corny Joke Warning on 21:15 - Apr 28 with 6521 viewshorshamHoop

Man walks into a bar



Lucky Bastard!
3
Corny Joke Warning on 12:12 - Apr 29 with 6440 viewsEsox_Lucius

I have been getting so bored at home I have begun experimenting with cross breeding animals that you wouldn't normally pair off. Yesterday I crossed a homing pigeon with an Alligator, a decision which I expect will come back to bite me on the arse.

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 11:11 - May 6 with 6301 viewsjohann28

Day 46 of isolation. Decorating kitchen. Spilt a gallon of paint over my head. Started to cry, overcome with emulsion.
4
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Corny Joke Warning on 09:46 - May 9 with 6201 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

Fella won the lottery and he's driving down the motorway in his new Rolls Royce but it won't do above 30mph.

So he pulls up on the hard shoulder calls the AA.
Says "excuse me i've bought a new Rolls Royce but it won't do more than 30mph".

The AA man says "what gear are you in?"

The fella says "my donkey jacket and my wellies".

Poll: Expectations for this season?

0
Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - May 9 with 6168 viewsBoston

I couldn’t figure out why the golf ball kept getting larger.

Then it hit me.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

6
Corny Joke Warning on 02:46 - May 10 with 6103 viewsBoston

Can a Kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Still thinking! Buildings can’t jump you ejits.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 02:49 - May 10 with 6102 viewsBoston

Why could the Old Bill never nick Spider Man?

He spun a web of lies

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - May 10 with 6005 viewsEsox_Lucius

With so many sports events being cancelled they're filling air time by televising the World Origami Championship.

It's on paperview...

The grass is always greener.

2
Corny Joke Warning on 17:26 - May 10 with 6001 viewsHantsR

Corny Joke Warning on 17:24 - May 10 by Esox_Lucius

With so many sports events being cancelled they're filling air time by televising the World Origami Championship.

It's on paperview...


No they're not, the company folded.
3
Corny Joke Warning on 18:46 - May 10 with 5966 viewsBoston

Customer drops her dress into the dry cleaners

Assistant thanks her and cheerily says "come again"

Lady says no, toothpaste this time.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

3
Corny Joke Warning on 18:53 - May 10 with 5960 viewsBoston

Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?

Because two Wongs don't make a white.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:04 - May 10 with 5953 viewsjohann28

Corny Joke Warning on 11:02 - May 9 by Boston

I couldn’t figure out why the golf ball kept getting larger.

Then it hit me.


That would be the same guy who couldn't understand why the sun fell in the west and rose in the east everyday. He got up early ... and then it dawned on him
1
Corny Joke Warning on 19:04 - May 10 with 5952 viewsBoston

What's the difference between Queens Park Rangers and a tea bag

Tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 19:09 - May 10 with 5945 viewsBoston

When I first came to the United States people asked me if Britain had a 4th of July?

"Yes", I said, and a 5th, a 6th...
[Post edited 10 May 2020 19:13]

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:24 - May 10 with 5895 viewsBoston

I was in Iraq y'know when all that sh1t hit the fan.

People ask me how I got out

Iran.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 14:42 - May 15 with 5690 viewsEsox_Lucius

I was arrested for inhaling a tank of Helium, the police held me for a while then let me go.

The grass is always greener.

5
Corny Joke Warning on 17:38 - May 15 with 5645 viewsBoston

Running my own business I’m terrified of negative numbers

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 13:05 - May 17 with 5523 viewsEsox_Lucius

Corny Joke Warning on 17:38 - May 15 by Boston

Running my own business I’m terrified of negative numbers

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.


I sat down to binge watch Orange Is The New Black yesterday and it turns out it has nothing to do with Trump replacing Obama.

The grass is always greener.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 10:30 - May 18 with 5421 viewsbosh67

My girlfriend opened a letter over the weekend and burst into tears.
"First I was told I have dyslexia and now they say I've got tiny tits."
I took the letter from her and had a look.
"Tinnitus, babe," I said. "You've got tinnitus."

Never knowingly right.
Poll: How long before new signings become quivering wrecks of the players they were?

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Corny Joke Warning on 01:53 - May 21 with 5282 viewsBoston

I was useless at school

Can't even count how many times I failed maths

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2
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