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Corny Joke Warning 16:56 - Aug 29 with 88484 viewsBoston

What vehicle do electricians prefer to drive?

A Volts Wagon.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

2

Corny Joke Warning on 21:16 - Sep 3 with 3349 viewsLblock

When I first met my wife all those years ago I knew straight away she was a keeper








It was the massive gloves that gave it away

Here for a good time..... not a long time

5

Corny Joke Warning on 21:22 - Sep 3 with 3338 viewsDesertBoot

In a moment of madness I broke into the Scotland Yard kitchen and tipped all the herbs onto the floor.


I've been charged with wasting police thyme.

Wish I could be like David Watts

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:49 - Sep 3 with 3262 viewsjohncharles

Corny Joke Warning on 22:18 - Aug 30 by northampton_hoop

Two birds sat on a perch, one says to the other “can you smell fish?”


Two dyslexics
“Can you smell gas ?”
“ Can’t even spell my own name”

Strong and stable my arse.

1
Corny Joke Warning on 23:53 - Sep 3 with 3259 viewsjohncharles

Corny Joke Warning on 13:59 - Aug 31 by CaptainPugwash

Arrrrrr....

How do 'e circumcise a Sperm Whale?
Send four skin divers down.


She were only a fishmonger's daughter but she noo 'ow to lay on a slab an' say fillet.

Yo Ho!


Did she have a naval base full of discharged seamen ?

Strong and stable my arse.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 02:55 - Sep 4 with 3215 viewsade_qpr

What's the best way to find long lost relatives?



Win the lottery.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

4

Corny Joke Warning on 08:20 - Sep 4 with 3159 viewsEsox_Lucius

I've been given a part in a play about the female reproductive cycle.
My role is to stand at the end of a pipe representing the fallopian tube and put tennis balls in it to demonstrate egg generation.
I told the producer that I'd feel stupid just standing there carrying out such a basic mundane acting role and stormed out.
I asked the wife what she thought; she said I'm just ovary acting.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 08:49 - Sep 4 with 3137 viewsdontknowitall

If you get a link called 'free porn' don't open it.

It is a birus that deactivarts your spelchex and garblis up your riting. i also reciebed it but luckily i dontt does porn si i didant opin it....
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Corny Joke Warning on 11:39 - Sep 4 with 3082 viewsEsox_Lucius

She was only a jockey's daughter but all the horse manure.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

1
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Corny Joke Warning on 12:45 - Sep 4 with 3024 viewsLblock

She was only a road layers daughter..... she loved her asphalt

Here for a good time..... not a long time

0

Corny Joke Warning on 13:16 - Sep 4 with 2982 viewsMick_S

She was only the carpenters daughter but she gave all the boys circular saws

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
Poll: Should Seann and Katya stay on Strictly Come Dancing?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 13:40 - Sep 4 with 2957 viewsade_qpr

Why is money called dough?


Because we all knead it.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 13:48 - Sep 4 with 2948 viewsEsox_Lucius

She was only a plasterer's daughter but she was always covered in muck.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 13:53 - Sep 4 with 2939 viewsMick_S

She was only the coalminer's daughter but she had plenty of slack in her knickers.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
Poll: Should Seann and Katya stay on Strictly Come Dancing?

1

Corny Joke Warning on 15:55 - Sep 4 with 2871 viewsMick_S

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
In Dubai they don’t watch the Flintstones… but Abu Dhabi do!

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
Poll: Should Seann and Katya stay on Strictly Come Dancing?

7

Corny Joke Warning on 16:15 - Sep 4 with 2852 viewsBoston

So the annual beer producers conference winds up and everyone heads over to the bar. The president of Miller, orders a Miller Lite, president of Budweiser, a Bud, CEO of Coors, a Coors Lite and so on down the line 'till it was Arthur Guinness's turn, to everyone's surprise he orders a Coke.
Bar man leans over and informs him they do have Guinness on draft.
"That's ok" says Arthur, "if no-one else is drinking beer".....

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

5

Corny Joke Warning on 16:17 - Sep 4 with 2845 viewsade_qpr

What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?


Mostly hip-pop

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

0

Corny Joke Warning on 16:32 - Sep 4 with 2825 viewsBoston

Why has Keith Richards asked to be cremated?

Police estimate his ashes would have a street value of 750 grand.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0
Corny Joke Warning on 20:20 - Sep 4 with 2728 viewsBoston

Corny Joke Warning on 16:17 - Sep 4 by ade_qpr

What kind of music to chiropractors listen to?


Mostly hip-pop


Undertakers.....the Grateful Dead.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

0

Corny Joke Warning on 21:24 - Sep 4 with 2704 viewshubble

Bloke walks into a pub with a steering wheel stuffed down his trousers and orders a pint.
The barman says 'excuse me mate, but you do know you've got a steering wheel down yer trousers?'
'Yeah,' the bloke replies, 'it's driving me nuts.'
6
Corny Joke Warning on 21:46 - Sep 4 with 2688 viewsBathRanger

Corny Joke Warning on 12:14 - Aug 30 by NW10Hoop

What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones

Trombones


What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung
2

Corny Joke Warning on 22:19 - Sep 4 with 2670 viewsLblock

One of my personal favourites:-

I entered a camouflage competition at the weekend - came second

The judges couldn't find a winner

Here for a good time..... not a long time

4

Corny Joke Warning on 08:51 - Sep 5 with 2552 viewsEsox_Lucius

The Magnificent Seven were invited to appear in a lucrative series of adverts for aftershave, filmed at Liverpool F.C.
Only six of them did; Yul never wore cologne.

The grass is always greener.
Poll: Could or do you go to watch QPR without having a drink or recreational drugs?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 09:27 - Sep 5 with 2518 viewsdontknowitall

My mate told me that he had a brilliant new hearing aid.
I said 'What kind is it?'
He said 'Three o'clock'
2

Corny Joke Warning on 09:38 - Sep 5 with 2507 viewsMick_S

My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.

Did I ever mention that I was in Minder?
Poll: Should Seann and Katya stay on Strictly Come Dancing?

2

Corny Joke Warning on 09:57 - Sep 5 with 2492 viewsade_qpr

What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male?



The wombat, because it eats, roots and leaves.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

0
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