| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done 00:38 - Nov 30 with 3507 views | qprxtc |
Done so many it’s just a blur...
That thing, that you wished never ever happened. But yep it did and it was all because of you. You tw@t.
Being born. Start from there.... and they’re off... |  | | |  |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 00:52 - Nov 30 with 2372 views | johncharles |
How long have you got ? |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 00:59 - Nov 30 with 2364 views | johncharles |
Okay, I’ll start. Tried to fix the electric fire without unplugging it first. Straight in with the screwdriver. A bang and an amazing blue flash and really horrible electric shock. Left me gibbering for half an hour.
Now that was stupid. | |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 01:12 - Nov 30 with 2352 views | nix |
I once took apart and cleared the U bend on the kitchen sink - independent women, don't need a man to rescue me yada, yada. Collected all the gunk and water I'd run through the pipe in a bucket under the dismantled pipe, all good, and then poured it all down the plug hole straight into my cupboard. Marvellous.
I also once pulled the choke out for too long in a car I'd just bought (for our younger readers!) and then called my dad out because I thought I'd broken the engine, when I'd really just flooded it. |  | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 03:03 - Nov 30 with 2325 views | stowmarketrange |
Turning up on my wedding is my biggest mistake so far.
When I first bought a car I needed a push start as the battery was flat,so I got my dad to push me down the road.It was only after he’d been pushing for about 100 yards that I realised I still had the keys in my pocket.He wasn’t best pleased.
I drove my truck to a waste paper depot in Charlton about 15 years ago and the container had to be free of rubbish before they’d load me so I had to climb in the back and clear it out.
There was a couple of those big air bags that they put in the containers sometimes to stop the pallets of goods from crashing into each other,so I had the bright idea of jumping on one of them to burst it like a carrier bag full of air.
I thought jumping from a height of about 5 feet should be enough.It was while I was in mid air that I thought that these bags are strong enough to stop 1 ton pallets bumping into each other so my 15 stone weight might not be enough to burst them.Too late though as I landed on it and fell backwards into the gutter.
I virtually made a gash in each elbow the size of a 50p piece and also cracked my head on the pavement.I had to get 1st aid from the woman in the office as there was a lot of blood pouring down both arms.
Luckily there were no witnesses and I told the woman that I slipped and fell off the back of my truck.
I still have the scars on both elbows if anyone wants to pop down to ML and commiserate/laugh at me.
Also I decided to have a bonfire in my garden to burn some old rubbish.Guess which idiot decided it was a good idea to pour a little bit of petrol on it as it was dying out?
Straight from the plastic petrol can too.Cue a fireball that engulfed the lawn,conservatory and the petrol can.Luckily I managed to put the flames out before they did any real damage. [Post edited 30 Nov 2019 9:07]
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 04:32 - Nov 30 with 2308 views | Hooparoo |
Choose QPR as my team when I was 7. |  |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 05:58 - Nov 30 with 2281 views | Hayesender |
Wasps nest in the garden a few years ago. Put on a pair of gloves and got the can of raid out and sprayed it straight into the nest.
Cue hundreds of very angry wasps chasing me round my mums garden |  |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 08:40 - Nov 30 with 2189 views | loftboy |
As a 15 year old bought a pack of bangers, when one didn’t go off I snapped it in half and lit the powder to create a genie! Couldn’t see for ten minutes and lost my eyebrows. |  |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 10:15 - Nov 30 with 2121 views | Woog |
When in my late teens I used to play for my local pub's darts team. One day I went in the pub on the way back from uni - Friday afternoon, it was packed - saw 2 of the older chaps from the team playing darts, and joined them for a few games. One of the blokes - Derek - had his son sat close by watching. When it was my round I asked what the guys wanted, and asked Derek what his son wanted. No reply.
Thinking I hadn't been heard, when I got to the bar I shouted back to Derek to see if his son wanted anything. No reply. A bit rude I thought.
Given him a last chance I turned back to them, upped the volume even further, roaring in no uncertain terms if his son wanted anything.
The barman tapped me on the shoulder - "Pete, that's not his son, that's his wife." |  | | |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 11:25 - Nov 30 with 2057 views | Discodroids |
Stupidest thing; Skulling my first line of Chisel in The English Club, Tower Hill, 1989, 2 days after i started work as a non marine reinsurance broker at LLoyds of London.
Cleverest thing ; Leaving Lloyds of London in 2006.
17 years of stupid. |  |
| "...The monkey is never dead, Dealer. The monkey never dies. When you kick him off, he just hides in a corner, waiting his turn." |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 11:52 - Nov 30 with 2018 views | LongsufferingR |
My first car aged 17 was a Beetle. Wouldn't start so called the AA who tried to tow me to the nearest garage. I had no idea about steering locks at the time so no key in the ignition, and half way up the road, the AA man went round a bend but I went straight into the side of a gleaming Jaguar XJS parked at the side of the road.
My second car was a Renault 5. Parked up at the side of the road, opened the door without looking and had it knocked off by a passing Range Rover.
I'd like to say I learnt from these but......... |  | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 12:05 - Nov 30 with 1997 views | Esox_Lucius |
Riding my motorbike along a high street with a couple of mates in the late 70's and saw some really fit women walking along the pavement. Pulled over up the road and a plan to impress them was drawn up; drive back past them standing one legged on the seats of the bikes to impress them was the preferred method to pull them so off we set. Went past them one way whilst waving, turned around further down the road and repeated the feat on their side of the road then pulled over just past them. Police panda car pulls in right behind us as the girls walked past, pissing themselves laughing, and proceeds to ask us "WTF did you think you were doing?" "We were trying to impress the girls" was enough for them to realise they were dealing with idiots and let us off with a 'producer' (for older readers).
There was another time around 20 motorbikes and a dozen cars full of people thought it would be a good idea to go and play fotball at the Hellfire Caves in High Wycombe around 2 in the morning using the car headlights for floodlights. Local police were not impressed but were kind enough to give us a police escort all the way back to Uxbridge and a warning to never go back to High Wycombe. |  |
| The grass is always greener. |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 13:05 - Nov 30 with 1939 views | qprxtc |
Punching my mate in the bollocks while he was driving down the A40 because it was a funny thing to do. | | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 13:14 - Nov 30 with 1929 views | HantsR |
One thing that comes to mind was on a business trip to Bangkok. I managed to get a free day off and decided to take the coach trip to floating water market, bridge over the River Kwai etc. The day before, I amused myself by buying a fake Rolex and a Cartier watch. Both worked ok, for a few weeks anyway! Anyway I had to get up early, coach boarding 7 am, and no hanky panky as there was a security guy sat all night on the landing next to my hotel room. A restless night but managed to get off to sleep then woke up and checked the time ...10 to 7!!! Dressed, ran down past security guard and wondered if I had time for a quick cuppa. I berated the restaurant staff for not having cleared up after the private party that had taken place. This was breakfast time!!! ? They were very humble, apologetic and cooperative...then pointed out the time to me 1.25 am?..my new Rolex watch was working but I had read it upside down in the dim light of my hotel room. I humbly apologised to to some smiling Thai faces then shuffled embarrassingly past the security guard for some welcome sleep. |  | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 13:23 - Nov 30 with 1918 views | Pommyhoop |
Burnt the nets while playing with lighter fluid and matches. Phoned my Mum and told her , she said 'Get out of the house, Dad will kill you'. I ran away from home. To Cranford... from Heston.
She thought I'd torched the velvet drapes { 70's chic) and not the dodgy nets...RESULT.! |  |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 14:18 - Nov 30 with 1850 views | Pommyhoop |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 13:23 - Nov 30 by Pommyhoop |
Burnt the nets while playing with lighter fluid and matches. Phoned my Mum and told her , she said 'Get out of the house, Dad will kill you'. I ran away from home. To Cranford... from Heston.
She thought I'd torched the velvet drapes { 70's chic) and not the dodgy nets...RESULT.! |
More young arsonistic hilarity.
My best mate and I actually got a ladder whilst our other mate was having innocent fun with a couple of girls in an old caravan.The girls had turned said caravan into a lovely little camp with a stove and everything.As I was saying we got a ladder and poured petrol down the cute little chimney knowing that the cute little stove was on...
Thank fuk etc ,etc......... | |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 17:03 - Nov 30 with 1768 views | paulparker |
As a 10 year old kid me and a mate were down the lakes in harefield it was snowing and the lakes were frozen , dumb and dumber were jumping up and down on the frozen lake trying to shatter it
Thank fcuk we didn’t have global warming then |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 17:42 - Nov 30 with 1739 views | PlanetHonneywood |
I’m not a tennis fan as will become apparent with this post.
As a student I got a job as a security guard at the summer tennis tournaments in London. Such was the calibre of my colleagues, that on my first day on the job, I was bumped up to guard the players’ entrance at Queen’s Club. Even had to wear a special tunic with bands the lot.
Anyway, the job spec was simple: only those with gold passes are allowed through and no one else! Got it, totally simple.
Anyway about an hour in this big miserable lump rocks up; not a pass, a hello, kiss my butt, nothing! Remembering the security guard’s mantra: they shall not pass, I refuse him entry. A bit of a too-do follows until a bloke in a suit beside the lump says. ‘You do realise this is Boris Becker and he’s here to defend his title?’
After I take my tea break; I was assigned to the tradesmen gate for the rest of the week! |  |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 19:59 - Nov 30 with 1598 views | BlackCrowe |
I'm sure i've mentioned this, but in case not...faked a stomach ache to get out of outdoor PE on a freezing winter's morning. Had my appendix out.
Actually there's one that almost competes with that....proposed to my beautiful Danish girlfriend, completely unplanned and very pissed, despite the fact i knew we had little in common. [Post edited 30 Nov 2019 20:02]
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 20:14 - Nov 30 with 1572 views | bosh67 |
Almost leaving my girlfriend for an old flame who had become a super model in New York. She came after me about 8 years ago, after not seeing me for 20+ years and declared that I was the love of her life and should have stuck with me when she flew off to become a super model with the likes of Cindy Crawford etc.
The night after I decided to make the jump and take me and my cat to NY she ended it all and ghosted me forever. Fortunately I hadn't cheated on my girlfriend and although my girlfriend is a nightmare on many levels we had been together for a long time and fortunately we still are. But I almost ruined everything having my head turned by a beautiful but flawed ex. I guess I was flattered and because we got on so well and seemingly had so much in common I thought she was the one.
So I guess nearly the stupidest thing I ever did because I reckon it would have gone south in a few weeks if me and my cat had upped and left for NY. [Post edited 30 Nov 2019 20:16]
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 20:42 - Nov 30 with 1529 views | PunteR |
Stupid thing .01
13 years old walking back home from school with a mate decided to go into the garage at the back of Oddbins off licence and smoke a fag we had. I decided to burn a cardboard box for some reason, the garage was full of empty boxes from Oddbins. It went up quite quickly so i stamped it out, or thought i did. Went home and had my dinner. My mate who was with me came banging on the door saying you better come and see this. As we walked up the road to where the garages was there was loads of water running down it. Bit odd i thought until i saw the 3 fire engines at the top of the road trying to put out all the garages and Oddbins that were engulfed in flames. Luckily no one was hurt. |  |
| Occasional providers of half decent House music. |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 23:01 - Nov 30 with 1406 views | rrrspricey |
Try to keep up with younger, fitter and more talented motorbike riders on a trackday in August.
4 weeks in itu worth of stupid  |  | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 23:15 - Nov 30 with 1381 views | CiderwithRsie |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 20:14 - Nov 30 by bosh67 |
Almost leaving my girlfriend for an old flame who had become a super model in New York. She came after me about 8 years ago, after not seeing me for 20+ years and declared that I was the love of her life and should have stuck with me when she flew off to become a super model with the likes of Cindy Crawford etc.
The night after I decided to make the jump and take me and my cat to NY she ended it all and ghosted me forever. Fortunately I hadn't cheated on my girlfriend and although my girlfriend is a nightmare on many levels we had been together for a long time and fortunately we still are. But I almost ruined everything having my head turned by a beautiful but flawed ex. I guess I was flattered and because we got on so well and seemingly had so much in common I thought she was the one.
So I guess nearly the stupidest thing I ever did because I reckon it would have gone south in a few weeks if me and my cat had upped and left for NY. [Post edited 30 Nov 2019 20:16]
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I don't think mentioning that you had an old flame who became a supermodel in NY is entirely in the spirit of this thread and certainly rules out me rehashing my story involving me chucking up outside Rayner's Lane tube on the way back from Motiorhead at the Hammy Odeon in front of about 100 coppers.
What you have there Bosh, is a Richard Curtis rom-com and I recommend you cash in. A false name on the writer's credits is advisable however, otherwise you'll have a new entry for this thread. | | | |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 23:16 - Nov 30 with 1377 views | Boston |
When I was a kid some of my mates dads took a few youngsters along to numerous London football clubs to watch a match, then they asked me what team do you want to support? | |
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 00:12 - Dec 1 with 1341 views | bosh67 |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 23:15 - Nov 30 by CiderwithRsie |
I don't think mentioning that you had an old flame who became a supermodel in NY is entirely in the spirit of this thread and certainly rules out me rehashing my story involving me chucking up outside Rayner's Lane tube on the way back from Motiorhead at the Hammy Odeon in front of about 100 coppers.
What you have there Bosh, is a Richard Curtis rom-com and I recommend you cash in. A false name on the writer's credits is advisable however, otherwise you'll have a new entry for this thread. |
Okay. Um... I once made a documentary in the 90s about male strippers. They challenged me to do an act in front of 400+ screaming women in Blackwood, Wales. I took the challenge on. Did a full strip but I am very short sighted so I accidentally went through the fire exit door instead of the stage door. Got locked out with nothing but a pair of boots on. Nobody could hear me knocking and shouting to get back in. Had to walk round the front and it was summer so it wasn't even dark yet. Walked past a bus stop and a queue outside the local chippy with nothing on. Surprisingly few people noticed.
Any good? Otherwise, all I have is getting very drunk with my ex wife's brother's the first night she took me to meet them in France and I got so sick that I blocked the toilet and her brothers had to unblock it. First time I had met them. She divorced me. [Post edited 1 Dec 2019 0:13]
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| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 00:16 - Dec 1 with 1327 views | CiderwithRsie |
| Stupidest thing you’ve ever done on 00:12 - Dec 1 by bosh67 |
Okay. Um... I once made a documentary in the 90s about male strippers. They challenged me to do an act in front of 400+ screaming women in Blackwood, Wales. I took the challenge on. Did a full strip but I am very short sighted so I accidentally went through the fire exit door instead of the stage door. Got locked out with nothing but a pair of boots on. Nobody could hear me knocking and shouting to get back in. Had to walk round the front and it was summer so it wasn't even dark yet. Walked past a bus stop and a queue outside the local chippy with nothing on. Surprisingly few people noticed.
Any good? Otherwise, all I have is getting very drunk with my ex wife's brother's the first night she took me to meet them in France and I got so sick that I blocked the toilet and her brothers had to unblock it. First time I had met them. She divorced me. [Post edited 1 Dec 2019 0:13]
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Think you might have got the rest of the plot of the rom-com there, with a bit of a tweak here and there. | | | |
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