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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... 00:46 - Apr 15 with 3825 viewsFredManRave

Just read somebody mention about the one and only time they were ever "talked to" by a steward at a game and thought that could be a good idea for a thread.

So I'll start with getting on the pitch after the draw with Hull in our promotion season. A result which cruelly denied us the chance of confirmed promotion but ran on the pitch anyway.

Could be anything like once turned up for a game sober etc etc...

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 00:51 - Apr 15 with 2742 viewsBoston

a/ Once drank a bottle of beer in the SAR.

b/ Once went to the bogs in the Ellerslie.

c/ Once was encouraged by security forces to leave the ground v Chelsea.

Poll: Thank God The Seaons Over.

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 05:23 - Apr 15 with 2710 viewsOutWestR

Smuggled a pair of scissors into the ground on our last game on the plastic pitch, which I used to cut up part of the Loft end goal line at the end of the match.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 06:18 - Apr 15 with 2689 viewsKonk

1) Plymouth away, some time in the early 90’s: my only dump at the football. No seat, piss everywhere, only about four squares of bog roll left , so I had to use the cardboard roll in small strips too and put me off for life.

2) Torquay away 1997: was absolutely battered, spent most of the first half chatting to the old girl in the pie hut whilst eating pasties, and for the only time ever, completely failed to notice half time had taken place. Wandered back round to my mates behind the goal and spent five minutes completely confused as to why we were attacking our goal and why our keeper was in their goal.

3) Hamburg away, Europa league semi-final. Got into Hamburg very early, got completely panelled and thought half-time was full-time. This is the only time this has happened. When the players came back out, I thought the ref was playing extra-time and spent a few stressed minutes screaming for the game to be stopped as we hadn’t played the home leg yet.

4) Aberdeen v Hibs, early 90’s: caught the ball when it went out of play. Returned it instantly straight into the hands of an Aberdeen player. Well chuffed with myself as I was about 15 rows back, but then he took a quick throw, Aberdeen caught Hibs napping, almost scored and the bloke sat in front of me called me a Stupid cu nt

5) Mid 2000’s: Like you Boston, escorted from the premises at the Bridge. Thoroughly justified as i’d spent the whole game in an apoplectic, unpleasant, sweary rage and I’d been spoken to twice. 15 years on it still makes me cringe.

6) Corporate hospitality - Millwall in about 1986. Blimey. It was like being at a rough funeral in a rough social club with a really sh it spread.

7) Football special: Liverpool away, League cup, late 90’s. Dry train, old train, slow train, got us to the match about 20 mins late train. Had a minging hangover all game as we’d gone to the pub in the morning and caned it until the train left Euston. Terrible. Got back to London about five weeks after the final whistle. Fu ck doing that again.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 06:44 - Apr 15 with 2679 viewsstowmarketrange

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 06:18 - Apr 15 by Konk

1) Plymouth away, some time in the early 90’s: my only dump at the football. No seat, piss everywhere, only about four squares of bog roll left , so I had to use the cardboard roll in small strips too and put me off for life.

2) Torquay away 1997: was absolutely battered, spent most of the first half chatting to the old girl in the pie hut whilst eating pasties, and for the only time ever, completely failed to notice half time had taken place. Wandered back round to my mates behind the goal and spent five minutes completely confused as to why we were attacking our goal and why our keeper was in their goal.

3) Hamburg away, Europa league semi-final. Got into Hamburg very early, got completely panelled and thought half-time was full-time. This is the only time this has happened. When the players came back out, I thought the ref was playing extra-time and spent a few stressed minutes screaming for the game to be stopped as we hadn’t played the home leg yet.

4) Aberdeen v Hibs, early 90’s: caught the ball when it went out of play. Returned it instantly straight into the hands of an Aberdeen player. Well chuffed with myself as I was about 15 rows back, but then he took a quick throw, Aberdeen caught Hibs napping, almost scored and the bloke sat in front of me called me a Stupid cu nt

5) Mid 2000’s: Like you Boston, escorted from the premises at the Bridge. Thoroughly justified as i’d spent the whole game in an apoplectic, unpleasant, sweary rage and I’d been spoken to twice. 15 years on it still makes me cringe.

6) Corporate hospitality - Millwall in about 1986. Blimey. It was like being at a rough funeral in a rough social club with a really sh it spread.

7) Football special: Liverpool away, League cup, late 90’s. Dry train, old train, slow train, got us to the match about 20 mins late train. Had a minging hangover all game as we’d gone to the pub in the morning and caned it until the train left Euston. Terrible. Got back to London about five weeks after the final whistle. Fu ck doing that again.


I once got really really pist up at Coventry away and spent a whole 45 minutes shouting abuse at ogrygsovic from behind the metal fences.I ain’t no oil painting myself,but I still seem to recall shouting “Ugly” at him for the entire half he was at our end for.It must’ve looked like the beast from the Disney film shouting abuse at Quasimodo.
I left the ground without knowing the score of the game and I still don’t know it to this day.And I can’t remember how I got home from Euston.My car might still be parked in a car park at Euston now.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 07:50 - Apr 15 with 2612 viewsBrianMcCarthy

Only been ejected once. My crime was overcelebrating a goal in the Loft and for that I got a baton to the head and a drag to some holding room. Can't remember much about it as I was fairly concussed. Wrote a letter to AKUTR's which had just started up, Dave Thomas came 'round my house, helped me lodge a complaint to the cops, we became mates and I started selling the mag outside the Loft.

"The opposite of love, after all, is not hate, but indifference."
Poll: Player of the Year (so far)

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 08:24 - Apr 15 with 2579 viewsR_from_afar

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 06:18 - Apr 15 by Konk

1) Plymouth away, some time in the early 90’s: my only dump at the football. No seat, piss everywhere, only about four squares of bog roll left , so I had to use the cardboard roll in small strips too and put me off for life.

2) Torquay away 1997: was absolutely battered, spent most of the first half chatting to the old girl in the pie hut whilst eating pasties, and for the only time ever, completely failed to notice half time had taken place. Wandered back round to my mates behind the goal and spent five minutes completely confused as to why we were attacking our goal and why our keeper was in their goal.

3) Hamburg away, Europa league semi-final. Got into Hamburg very early, got completely panelled and thought half-time was full-time. This is the only time this has happened. When the players came back out, I thought the ref was playing extra-time and spent a few stressed minutes screaming for the game to be stopped as we hadn’t played the home leg yet.

4) Aberdeen v Hibs, early 90’s: caught the ball when it went out of play. Returned it instantly straight into the hands of an Aberdeen player. Well chuffed with myself as I was about 15 rows back, but then he took a quick throw, Aberdeen caught Hibs napping, almost scored and the bloke sat in front of me called me a Stupid cu nt

5) Mid 2000’s: Like you Boston, escorted from the premises at the Bridge. Thoroughly justified as i’d spent the whole game in an apoplectic, unpleasant, sweary rage and I’d been spoken to twice. 15 years on it still makes me cringe.

6) Corporate hospitality - Millwall in about 1986. Blimey. It was like being at a rough funeral in a rough social club with a really sh it spread.

7) Football special: Liverpool away, League cup, late 90’s. Dry train, old train, slow train, got us to the match about 20 mins late train. Had a minging hangover all game as we’d gone to the pub in the morning and caned it until the train left Euston. Terrible. Got back to London about five weeks after the final whistle. Fu ck doing that again.


Marvellous stuff, Konk, you clearly have a book in you

I did a double take with point one, thinking "Don't they have specially trained staff - equerries or something - handing out neatly folded sheets with velvet gloves?" But then I realised it was an away game
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 13:31]

"Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1."

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 08:33 - Apr 15 with 2559 viewsBazzaInTheLoft

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 09:16 - Apr 15 with 2503 viewsEsox_Lucius

I used to go to games with a school mate and part way through the first half I noticed the kid behind burning a hole in mates jacket with a cigarette, I didn't say anything but grabbed his arm and bounced his face off the terrace barrier. A steward came running over and after a quick ask of what happened, and a shuftie at my mates jacket, escorted all three of us out but on the pavement outside he called me and my mate back. A trifle concerned, we debated running, we went back and he said if we behaved ourselves he would let us back in as it had been a shitty trick by the other kid.

The grass is always greener.

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 10:27 - Apr 15 with 2373 viewsMetallica_Hoop

Partook of dinner in the old QPR 'lunchbox'? (I forget what it used to be called) by the away end in when we drew with Watford 1-1 in 2000-2001.

Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 10:37 - Apr 15 with 2378 viewsKonk

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 08:24 - Apr 15 by R_from_afar

Marvellous stuff, Konk, you clearly have a book in you

I did a double take with point one, thinking "Don't they have specially trained staff - equerries or something - handing out neatly folded sheets with velvet gloves?" But then I realised it was an away game
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 13:31]


It’s bidets and fresh towels at the Cottage, mate.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 10:45 - Apr 15 with 2370 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 10:37 - Apr 15 by Konk

It’s bidets and fresh towels at the Cottage, mate.


Is that the name of your book?

Poll: Expectations for this season?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:03 - Apr 15 with 2325 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

Stood in the away end for a match against Liverpool once in the 90’s. Couldn’t get a ticket in our end but managed to get into the West Paddock which was Liverpool for this match. It finished 0-0. Think it’s the only time I’ve been in the away section for a match at Loftus Rd.

*Edit - Must have been 1991 as that’s the only time QPR have had a 0-0 with Liverpool at Loftus Rd. Or anywhere else in fact. I was 15.
[Post edited 15 Apr 2020 11:17]

Poll: Expectations for this season?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:03 - Apr 15 with 2324 viewsTonto

same as Konk - only ever had a sh.. once. And the toilet didn't flush.

Why stop now, just when I'm hating it
Poll: Is it essential that QPR stay in the Borough of H&F?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:17 - Apr 15 with 2293 viewsKonk

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 10:45 - Apr 15 by CliveWilsonSaid

Is that the name of your book?


‘From wading in piss to monogrammed bum towels: Fulham’s toilets through the ages’

Just a working title at the moment, mind.

Fulham FC: It's the taking part that counts

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:31 - Apr 15 with 2269 viewsCliveWilsonSaid

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:17 - Apr 15 by Konk

‘From wading in piss to monogrammed bum towels: Fulham’s toilets through the ages’

Just a working title at the moment, mind.


We’re still wading in piss at LR although they do hand out blankets in the posh section of South Africa Rd stand now.

Poll: Expectations for this season?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 11:56 - Apr 15 with 2239 viewsHantsR

Me and my mate pulled a couple of girls in the pouring rain on the open SAR terrace. Got very cosy under my coat.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 12:30 - Apr 15 with 2192 viewsLblock

Set off a thunder cracker on the away terrace at Plough Lane..... proper loud

Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 12:34 - Apr 15 with 2187 viewsAntti_Heinola

Only once have I gone to a game with a mum. It wasn't even a QPR game, it was the Brighton Notts Co play off final in 1991(?) - he was a Brighton fan and I used to go to the odd game with him as my Granddad was from there and I had a soft spot for them. Anyway, his mum came, as well as his dad, and his mum, not wanting us to eat traditional football fare, brought a packed lunch to Wembley in tupperware.
Mortified.

Bare bones.

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 12:43 - Apr 15 with 2162 viewsBathRanger

Walked across the pitch at LR - I was in the Paddock for the West Ham cup match in 1988 when the match had to be stopped due to overcrowding in the away end, and I was one of the people moved to the Loft end.

Asked Kenny Sansom to autograph my programme as he went off the pitch after the warm-up, and then had to suffer my mates taking the mickey out of me for the rest of the afternoon because everyone else asking for autographs were children.

Met the players in the dressing room before a game at Birmingham a few seasons ago when my son was the mascot.

I was also going to add: left the match before the final whistle but I think I've done that twice; once when I went to a 11:30am match at Exeter and left early to get a train to see a 3:00pm match at Plymouth, and once when I had to leave an evening away game about 10 mins before the end to get the last train home. Otherwise, I don't leave a match before the final whistle, no matter what the score.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 12:44 - Apr 15 with 2159 viewsted_hendrix

Got arrested at Newcastle straight after that c unt Beardsly scored their winner 95/96 season, didn't get arrested at Coventry cos plod couldn't catch me 95/96 season.

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 12:52 - Apr 15 with 2140 viewsqprxtc

A pigeon shit on my head and programme at the home game v Birmingham in 1985/86 (won 3-1, Dawes got one). Had to wipe it all off in the bogs that had no toilet paper.

Had the pigeon shit streaked programme for years.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 13:01 - Apr 15 with 2116 viewsFredManRave

Already some classics on here. I'll add a couple more;

Wearing a transparent poncho/cagoul type thing that was given out to away fans that were being utterly pissed on in the no roofed away section at Swindon. All this was while the players were being shat on on the pitch!

Went to an away game on my own. All the way up to Middlesbrough on the train on my jack as all my other mate couldn't make it.

Keep 'em coming...

I've got the Power.
Poll: MOM from todays Teasing at Teesside?

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 13:24 - Apr 15 with 2074 viewsMrSheen

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 13:01 - Apr 15 by FredManRave

Already some classics on here. I'll add a couple more;

Wearing a transparent poncho/cagoul type thing that was given out to away fans that were being utterly pissed on in the no roofed away section at Swindon. All this was while the players were being shat on on the pitch!

Went to an away game on my own. All the way up to Middlesbrough on the train on my jack as all my other mate couldn't make it.

Keep 'em coming...


I was once in the directors' lounge at a game, Oxford away in 1997 - not the 4-1, 3-1 on a Friday night the season before. When I say "directors' lounge", I mean formica-walled scout hut. Chris Wright came over and stood by me, but I was so furious I couldn't make any sound come out. He got his mobile out and had a long conversation about sacking someone.
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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 15:48 - Apr 15 with 1966 viewsDorse

One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 07:50 - Apr 15 by BrianMcCarthy

Only been ejected once. My crime was overcelebrating a goal in the Loft and for that I got a baton to the head and a drag to some holding room. Can't remember much about it as I was fairly concussed. Wrote a letter to AKUTR's which had just started up, Dave Thomas came 'round my house, helped me lodge a complaint to the cops, we became mates and I started selling the mag outside the Loft.


That's how they're all recruited. Allegedly.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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One thing you've only ever done once at a game... on 15:52 - Apr 15 with 1960 viewsDorse

Bought one of them plastic bottles of ersatz lager. Truly dreadful.

'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!'

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