Forum | Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies by numptydumpty

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Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies 14:37 - Jul 6 with 2173 views

Last night, this announcement was put out by the BBC.

"BBC1 will starts its coverage of the Mexico England World Cup knockout game from midnight tonight, however for viewers in Scotland, we will be showing multiple episodes of the holiday magazine show 'Wish you Here' !!!"

	"Walking in a Mackie Wonderland"
Poll:	Main Reason you started following QPR ??

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 15:20 - Jul 6 with 2054 views

colinallcars

I played golf with a chimney sweep once. He was brilliant - under par every hole.
I said “ blimey, what's your handicap ? ”
He said “central heating mate”

Edit….the ol' ones are the best

[Post edited 6 Jul 15:36]

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 22:57 - Jul 6 with 1799 views

digswellhoop

the batsman holding th bowlers wille

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 16:30 - Jul 8 with 1490 views

marky67

there was a good one going around last night before the colombia v switzerland game being dubbed
charlie v the chocolate factory.

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 16:54 - Jul 8 with 1430 views

Match82

I did enjoy the US commentator in one of the earlier England matches "well we all know that the English don't have a great record in Boston/Massachusetts"

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:13 - Jul 8 with 1344 views

Sonic_Hoop

. Darren Walsh:
I've got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts.

Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other, “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.” Tommy Tiernan

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:17 - Jul 8 with 1339 views

brewers_hoop

I saw a Chelsea season ticket nailed to a tree the other day - I thought ‘I’m having that’ - you can never have too many nails

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:31 - Jul 8 with 1304 views

izlingtonhoop

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:13 - Jul 8 by Sonic_Hoop
. Darren Walsh: I've got a new job collecting all the jumpers left in the park at the weekends, but it's not easy. They keep moving the goalposts. Two flies are playing football in a saucer. One says to the other, “Make an effort, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow.” Tommy Tiernan

Tommy Tiernan?
More like Gus's Gags c1971

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:36 - Jul 8 with 1287 views

Sonic_Hoop

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:31 - Jul 8 by izlingtonhoop
Tommy Tiernan? More like Gus's Gags c1971

You're right. It's the heat. Tiernan used it at the fringe.

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:38 - Jul 8 with 1270 views

izlingtonhoop

Match interviewer " Brilliant game. Insects were four nil down at halftime. Second half you brought the centipede on and he gets six goals! Why didn't you play him first half?"
Manager " He was putting his boots on"

Could be told better...
...probably by Tarbie

I copied it off t'interweb

Its the heat

Best or worst football jokes / sporting funnies on 18:41 - Jul 8 with 1254 views

izlingtonhoop

This one...
...I'm almost certain I first heard told (again much better) by Tarbie...

Olivander the Earwig went to play for the insects footie team and he scored 5 goals and he was complaining that none of the crowd were cheering his efforts... the manager said of course they were Olivander... didn't you hear the supporters singing Ear wig O Earwig O Earwig O...?

[Post edited 8 Jul 18:54]

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