| Nutters You've Played Alongside 09:25 - Feb 8 with 3800 views | Dorse |
PaulParker's comment about the off-side tactic of the El Tel era brought back some memories of a Forest supporting mate of mine, whose intolerance of QPR was based squarely on our use of the tactic.
Anyway, we used to play in the same team. He was a muscular sort of centre forward, not as tall as some but could put it about; I was the rangy centre back whose pace and positioning made up for the fact that I was functionally blind whilst playing without glasses. Seriously, I had to mark by smell. His best mate was an Irish lad whose first touch, shot and ability to dribble made him a great number 10.
For some reason (we never did get to the bottom of it), during a lull in play, this guy runs up behind the Irish fella and lays the nut on him, dropping him to the ground. Nothing is said. Not a thing. He then simply sends himself off and we play with 10 men, well 9 and some guy with concussion, for the rest of the match.
Have you lot played with worse? |  |
| 'What do we want? We don't know! When do we want it? Now!' |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 09:38 - Feb 8 with 2879 views | Metallica_Hoop |
An opposition Goalkeeper karate kicked our midfielder (Brentford fan) with a monk like kick so he had stud marks on his upper chest and shoulder.
The ref said it wasn't deliberate.....
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| Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 10:03 - Feb 8 with 2832 views | PlanetHonneywood |
I may or may not have found myself up before the London F.A. for an act of protection/prevention of a crime which may or may not have been a flying head-butt of a bloke who was definitely strangling my team mate/house mate and chap I was best man for.
Prior to this, two of my team mates were put in hospital from one terrible tackle and one that their bloke mistimed. We knocked one of their blokes out and the useless ref can be summed up thus; having lost all control from the start when I asked him why he hadn't given a foul on me (defender and bloke I may or may not have nutted, caught me on the hip with a tackle) he replied. 'Not worth it this late in the game!'
The resulting fracas basically saw everyone trading blows, it kicking off everywhere and the ref doing a runner from both sides for being seen as gash! Made for fun times when we were sat outside the meeting room for my disciplinary!
It was my debut for the college first team as well and amazingly, I was not selected again. |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 10:45 - Feb 8 with 2763 views | oldmeadoniansR |
I have played with some nasty pieces of work on the pitch. One fella used to know all the referees first names chat to them on the way onto the pitch and then proceed to kick lumps out of anyone anywhere near him. A speciality of his was stamping on the hands of anyone unfortunate enough to have hit the deck at a corner. |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 10:54 - Feb 8 with 2738 views | ozexile |
Not along side but played on a horrible Sunday morning in Watford. Hung over, raining should have stayed in bed.
Their fella was kicking lumps off of anything that moved. The ref had no choice but to send him off. He goes straight to his car gets a baseball bat and waits on the sideline. The ref abandons the match and he runs on swinging the bat at anything that moved. His own team crash tackle him and sit in him while our team and the ref grab our stuff and bail.
Flew to oz the next week and I never did find out what happened to that team. | | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 11:33 - Feb 8 with 2697 views | Lblock |
There's a book out there somewhere about Sunday morning football.
The Chiswick & District League has it's own chapter. One incident was legendary with a team I know of being thrown out after one of their number came on the pitch and chased everyone around with a knife.
We used to come up against some right goons -- none less than one of Chelscum's "film star thugs" now more known for "iz books an dat and after dinna speaks an dat"
As for nutters played alongside -- I'd say all of our team were nutters. We had to be. But by Christ I tell you those were the happiest days of my life as a single young man. You just cannot beat a changing room full of like minded individuals for pure comedy gold.
I'm so glad that a good lot of those boys now drink in the Queen Adelaide with me pre and post QPR games.
I'm getting all emotional.... |  |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 12:10 - Feb 8 with 2624 views | eccles |
A ref I know (dont ask!) was reffing a sunday league game a few years back where a gobby little midfielder for one of the sides kept disagreeing with his decisions and repeatedly called the ref a knut.
Ref booked him halfway through first half and warned him to shut up as he didnt want to send him off just for verbals. Gobby little midfielder took no notice and carried on chipping away. At half time the ref called the captain over and told him to have a word. Made no difference. Gobby little midfieder carried on abusing the ref throughout second half until eventually the ref just had no option.
He called the GLM over to him, 21 players looking on fully expecting the deserved red to be produced and without a word, dropped the annoying little git with a perfect right hook. He then picked up the ball and still without a word to any of the other players walked back to his car. He never reffed again.
Ah, Sunday football. I really miss it sometimes. |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 12:17 - Feb 8 with 2604 views | Nov77 |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 12:10 - Feb 8 by eccles |
A ref I know (dont ask!) was reffing a sunday league game a few years back where a gobby little midfielder for one of the sides kept disagreeing with his decisions and repeatedly called the ref a knut.
Ref booked him halfway through first half and warned him to shut up as he didnt want to send him off just for verbals. Gobby little midfielder took no notice and carried on chipping away. At half time the ref called the captain over and told him to have a word. Made no difference. Gobby little midfieder carried on abusing the ref throughout second half until eventually the ref just had no option.
He called the GLM over to him, 21 players looking on fully expecting the deserved red to be produced and without a word, dropped the annoying little git with a perfect right hook. He then picked up the ball and still without a word to any of the other players walked back to his car. He never reffed again.
Ah, Sunday football. I really miss it sometimes. |
witnessed the opposite of that, when one of our players chinned the ref, think he got banned for life.
once played with a bloke called buttler, oppo player had his hands round his throat once, cue all the people on the touchline doing their best blakey impressions, "I'll have you Buttler!!" |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 13:53 - Feb 8 with 2488 views | Northernr |
Good friend and QPR stalwart Polish Paul got a lengthy ban from, I think, the aforementioned Chiswick and District League for breaking both the goalkeeper's legs with his head while executing a bold diving header through a crowded six yard box. They had to have a benefit do for the keeper as he was self employed and couldn't work. |  | | |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:03 - Feb 8 with 2463 views | TheBlob |
There was this guy called Chris when we played for PENSA - never realised it stood for Penge Salvation Army.He had multiple hearing aids and couldn't annunciate words.He'd just come off congratulaing Blob for a spectacular lob over the keeper from the right wing and then launched into a series of horrendous fouls,totally oblivious to the referee's whistle.With bodies piling up - and attempts at sign language seemed to infuriate him more - we had to hit him with the tin tray that carried the half time oranges and tea to get his attention. |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:32 - Feb 8 with 2430 views | wombat |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 13:53 - Feb 8 by Northernr |
Good friend and QPR stalwart Polish Paul got a lengthy ban from, I think, the aforementioned Chiswick and District League for breaking both the goalkeeper's legs with his head while executing a bold diving header through a crowded six yard box. They had to have a benefit do for the keeper as he was self employed and couldn't work. |
how hard was his head to break both keepers legs with his fecking head ?
chiswick and district was a laugh as was the middlesex , anyone come across firefly in there sunday league careers ? |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:37 - Feb 8 with 2416 views | bosh67 |
Can't really compete with these. Best I can do is when I played in a Sunday league team I broke out from defending a free kick, lost two players but over played a pass to our forward who tried to break clean through. He was so angry that at the end of the game he picked up a sponge from a bucket and used it to disguise a punch to my face. It still hurt!
Next game the same thing happened but I got the pass through and he scored. At the end of the game I hid the sponge. |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:41 - Feb 8 with 2400 views | stonebridgers |
I heard a story of a bloke who got sent off and stood on the touchline abusing the ref. The ref warned him and his captain that unless he left the park he would abandon the game. The guy left and stood on a milk crate outside the ground shouting abuse at the ref but not before going into the dressing room and pi55ing all over the refs clothes. | |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 15:26 - Feb 8 with 2354 views | PlanetHonneywood |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:41 - Feb 8 by stonebridgers |
I heard a story of a bloke who got sent off and stood on the touchline abusing the ref. The ref warned him and his captain that unless he left the park he would abandon the game. The guy left and stood on a milk crate outside the ground shouting abuse at the ref but not before going into the dressing room and pi55ing all over the refs clothes. |
Outstanding and today's winner of the internet!
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 15:29 - Feb 8 with 2335 views | wombat |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 15:26 - Feb 8 by PlanetHonneywood |
Outstanding and today's winner of the internet!
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seem to remember a guy coming into the dressing room with a chisel at north acton playing fields , we did have an incident when two players from our team laid into each other because one of them told the other guys wife to feck off during the game , funnily neither got sent off as the ref was a fellow R | |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 15:45 - Feb 8 with 2309 views | robith |
It's not football, but I was rugby captain of the thirds at university. There was this post grad Aussie called Mat who was an absolute lunatic. Actually made me uncomfortable playing with him. Played outside centre, and he was about 28 when the average age in our teams was around 19.
His favourite trick was while running full pelt at an isolated defender, without breaking his stride he would chip the ball perfectly into the player's breadbasket, landing a fraction before he got there so he could "legally" turn the poor kid inside out.
A ref sin binned him for it once. When I begrudgingly asked the ref what laws he'd broken he replied "None. But it *felt* wrong" |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 18:30 - Feb 8 with 2181 views | Lblock |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 14:41 - Feb 8 by stonebridgers |
I heard a story of a bloke who got sent off and stood on the touchline abusing the ref. The ref warned him and his captain that unless he left the park he would abandon the game. The guy left and stood on a milk crate outside the ground shouting abuse at the ref but not before going into the dressing room and pi55ing all over the refs clothes. |
How could I forget??!!
I got sent off once when running the line as I was a substitute.
The ref was an absolute bell end of the highest Order.
He did warn me numerous times to be fair... He marches up next to me and gets notebook out and says "Name" so I gives him my surname and first initial, which happens to be "C".
"And what does the C stand for?" asks Bell End Ref.... without thinking I responds looking him right in the eyes and say "Kunt".
The worst of it was I was also our clubs Middlesex and League Secretary. The disciplinary offence paperwork turned up with an envelope that said -- Warning. This correspondence contains offensive language.
I do sill miss those days! | |
| Cherish and enjoy life.... this ain't no dress rehearsal |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 19:41 - Feb 8 with 2123 views | PeterHucker |
I used to have the reputation for being our team's nutter but undeserved really.
I was a bit of a sly bastard Having learnt from many years of watching Alan McDonald who was a master at holding a player on the refs blind side and climbing on the striker to win the header.
but I never once injured anyone and only got booked 3 or 4 times in my life. Not bad seeing as I always played in central defence or defensive midfield.
I remember we used to play against a team who were all gay, can't remember what they were called but they played their home fixtures in Holland Park. They we're in the same division as us for years and One of our players used to make exactly the same sorry jokes every time we played them (backs against the wall lads, keep it tight at the back etc) until their little full back got fed up with it and punched him spark out Andy Impey style.
I used to also play on the AstroTurf pitch under the west way at top of Wood Lane. So many stories from there of punch ups with opposition. Not me you understand, but we had a South African bloke on our team who was a rugby player and was always up for any kind of ruck. One bloke I'd been marking who had the nark with me came back on the pitch after the match with a knife!! I didn't even know about this until after but some of my team were pushing and shoving with him and he ran off. The police were called and then some of my team mates were driven around the mean streets of Latimer Road looking for the culprit.
So much for a friendly game. |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 20:38 - Feb 8 with 2067 views | Drewster |
Not so much nutters, but a team I used to play against in the Reading Sunday hangover league back around 1989/1990. Second summer of love and acid and raves and all that.
This team would turn up, after being out all night raving in some field somewhere, smoke a few fags and joints before the game to get their heads straight and go and play 90 minutes. Some real talented lads as well, but hilarious when it went all wrong on the pitch. We used to call them the Adams family.
Post game, back on the funny fags and down the pub for a Sunday lunch session.
Personal experience of real nutters was against some of the loons in West Berkshire where there is inbreeding issues. Got knocked out cold by a 'stray elbow' in mid air going for a header. Called it a day after that and the operations that followed to sort my mangled nasal passage out! |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 20:56 - Feb 8 with 2043 views | danehoop |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 20:38 - Feb 8 by Drewster |
Not so much nutters, but a team I used to play against in the Reading Sunday hangover league back around 1989/1990. Second summer of love and acid and raves and all that.
This team would turn up, after being out all night raving in some field somewhere, smoke a few fags and joints before the game to get their heads straight and go and play 90 minutes. Some real talented lads as well, but hilarious when it went all wrong on the pitch. We used to call them the Adams family.
Post game, back on the funny fags and down the pub for a Sunday lunch session.
Personal experience of real nutters was against some of the loons in West Berkshire where there is inbreeding issues. Got knocked out cold by a 'stray elbow' in mid air going for a header. Called it a day after that and the operations that followed to sort my mangled nasal passage out! |
Played for a couple of teams in Hayes and district Sunday leagues. When I first played for Ickenham sports reserves as right wing I got battered by the left back and left midfield playing against Uxbridge ex service men. Looked like I had been mugged afterwards, the turned out ref who observed my slow dismemberment was one of the other teams uncles. Played for same team for a season or two and we needed up having a mad older bloke in goal. Good keeper, but prone to get overinvolved. One game a gobby centre forward spent whole game winding him up, before scoring with a terrible handball. Our keeper was incensed by what had happened and the amount of verbals from the fella ( who was half the size of our keeper). We knew what was coming but the centre forward didn't. They brought ball back for a kick off and our keeper just ran from the goal screaming towards the centre forward. The guy turned 180 degrees and started sprinting the other way off the pitch with a our keeper in hot pursuit. Took about 7 of us to sit on him and calm him down. The centre forward was substituted when he refused to come back on. That was safest for all concerned.
Later played for a team called Excalibur a few divisions below where I found my true calling as a nasty right back. My team was one of those teams that was technically good, but silent as a morgue. Despite my being one of the less skilful players on the team I got quite a few games just for being loud and organising the side. Trouble is that I am not normally the loud outspoken type and by about 60 minutes of constant shouting my voice would start to go. Queue the chip from opposition centre forward who called me the horse whisperer. Unfortunately the nickname stuck. [Post edited 8 Feb 2016 21:01]
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 21:20 - Feb 8 with 2018 views | Jamie |
Many years ago we had a guy - I'll call him 'Rich' - turn up to pre-season training, tell us that he was a goalkeeper and that he was playing for us now. It was a small village and everyone had heard of Rich although nobody knew him well. Rumour abounded that he was in trouble with some local traders. His general manner and more than passing resemblance to 'The Monk' meant nobody bothered arguing with him.
Rich had a few rather unique warm up techniques, including hitting himself in the face to psyche himself up, and whacking his dodgy knee on the goalpost to pop it back into place.
There were far too many odd moments to fully summarise but they included him chasing me around the pitch with 20 other players and the ref watching and waiting to kick off, for the 'crime' of following up a shot he had spilled at the end of the warmup.
My favourite moment however was towards the end of the season. We all reported on time for a long journey to an away cup semi-final, however there was no sign of Rich. If he had a mobile phone, nobody had the number, and when registering to play for the club, he had given a fake address, so all we could do was scour the village and set off without him.
Miraculously we won that semi-final with a centre back playing in goal. On a sidenote, our manager/captain went up for an early header and came down with blood streaming down his bald head. A quick look in the first aid kits unearthed only some bandage tape and kids plasters. Out of nowhere came salvation. A woman had a sanitary towel in her purse which was taped to the crown of his head and back on he came. Midway through the second half, he got in an altercation and decided to plant a rather squelchy head butt on an opposition player. Anyway I digress..
The next week when Rich turned up, he claimed complete ignorance of his whereabouts, insisting that he remembered going to the local pub on the Friday and awaking late Saturday in a ditch.
When the final rolled around, we played the opposition off the park, only to concede a late equaliser in ET. At the ensuing penalty shootout, Rich threw his gloves in the bin, insisting they hadn't helped him so he was going barehanded. We lost.
Rich wasn't heard from again after that. At the start of the next pre-season, the word was that he was at Her Majesty's Pleasure for burglarising a poor old dear. | | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 22:49 - Feb 8 with 1962 views | queensparker |
Played in the Chiswick and District league as well. One nasty story was one of my mates who was a great player and still trying to make it at a higher level being put out of action forever when some c--t from the the other team in Whitton I think it was got fed up and broke his leg in three places. Mass punch up, game abandoned
The best Sunday League keeper we ever had was an Albanian lad called Miko who appeared out of nowhere, played for two years, and looked like the old Chelsea bloke Peter Borota. Outstanding and clearly with an interesting past. He radiated the feeling he'd been heavily involved in the general insanity round the Balkans but what a keeper. One day he didn't turn up and that was that. Always wondered what happened to him [Post edited 8 Feb 2016 23:07]
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 23:19 - Feb 8 with 1932 views | komradkirk |
Played in some tasty old boys league games back in the day,i was a ball winner with limited ability.
Great fun playing the Belfast teams as they all reckoned they were so much harder than us country (greater belfast)lads.
Highlight was probably when one of these wahwahs told me his brother was going to shoot me,so i asked him why he didn't have a gun of his own as i slung one into his ribs and he sobbed a little.Got away with a booking as our manager was ref that day.
To be fair i got a few slaps myself over the years
Good times |  | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 06:27 - Feb 9 with 1838 views | loftboy |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 23:19 - Feb 8 by komradkirk |
Played in some tasty old boys league games back in the day,i was a ball winner with limited ability.
Great fun playing the Belfast teams as they all reckoned they were so much harder than us country (greater belfast)lads.
Highlight was probably when one of these wahwahs told me his brother was going to shoot me,so i asked him why he didn't have a gun of his own as i slung one into his ribs and he sobbed a little.Got away with a booking as our manager was ref that day.
To be fair i got a few slaps myself over the years
Good times |
I refereed on the Chiswick league cor twenty years (got ref oc the year in 2000) sent off at least 30 players a season, the qpr lsa team became.the Suffolk punch had a real rivalry with bedfont Sunday, I abandoned a championship decider for crowd trouble!
I always sent off one of vics players, usually cor fighting, they got kicked out in the end, they had a fiver a player whipround to break the bedfont captains leg,it was won in about ten minutes.
I once had to barricade myself in the dressing room in a hounslow league game after some little nutter attacked me with a bottle. |  |
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| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 11:42 - Feb 9 with 1725 views | ozexile |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 06:27 - Feb 9 by loftboy |
I refereed on the Chiswick league cor twenty years (got ref oc the year in 2000) sent off at least 30 players a season, the qpr lsa team became.the Suffolk punch had a real rivalry with bedfont Sunday, I abandoned a championship decider for crowd trouble!
I always sent off one of vics players, usually cor fighting, they got kicked out in the end, they had a fiver a player whipround to break the bedfont captains leg,it was won in about ten minutes.
I once had to barricade myself in the dressing room in a hounslow league game after some little nutter attacked me with a bottle. |
Was Vic the manager with the QPR tattoos who ran the line? Also involved with Harrow St mary on a saturday. | | | |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 18:42 - Feb 9 with 1588 views | loftboy |
| Nutters You've Played Alongside on 11:42 - Feb 9 by ozexile |
Was Vic the manager with the QPR tattoos who ran the line? Also involved with Harrow St mary on a saturday. |
Vic Stevenson of the LSA dont think he was involved Saturdays as he's always at Rangers | |
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