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Warburton's Swansea preview
at 21:16 10 Feb 2020

Unreal. Not a single mention of our mountain of slop of a defence at Uddersfield (or all season) - just 'be clinical, take our chances, broken record, blah de blah de blah'.

I'm a Warburton fan, but his refusal to deal with our piteous impersonation of a defence is surely now becoming pathological. I think we fans need to start letting the cat out of the bag before the bum squeaks start to become shrieks. Hall is one whose time is surely up.

Seriously, what part of awaken and sniff the caffeine does the man not understand?
[Post edited 10 Feb 21:16]
Peter Shilton article (Are you reading Mr Lumley)?
at 21:00 15 Jan 2020

Interesting interview with Shilts in today's Guardian - I must admit I didn't realise he actually made his debut for England back in 1970, and had quite such an astonishing appearance record for club (1,390 games) and country (125 caps). Also interesting to see him criticise the state of modern goalkeeping for its perceived deficits in developing technique. (Anyone see where I might be going with this?) His point about top sides being built from the back, with a strong keeper and centre half, ought to be shouted very loud in the ear of Mark Warburton too.

'If you’ve got the right technique not only are you going to do great things, you’re going to avoid doing many bad things. And that’s the secret. Goalkeepers are not necessarily judged on saves. They’re judged on the amount of mistakes they make.'

'You keep your clean sheets and that helps the glory boys up front. If you’re letting goals in stupidly, it destroys the team. Alisson and Van Dijk are two colossuses – big, confident people. They have had a massive effect and got the best out of the other players as well. They’ve proved that football is still, fundamentally, the same. It all starts at the back. The goalkeeper is still the foundation of all your success.'

Wondering if a certain Joe L. could perhaps be sent a copy of 'Shilton's Secrets' (presumably, now they've been made public, they're no longer secrets) and locked up in a padded room at HQ until he's got it by heart. Though if one were to toss him a copy, I fear he'd quite likely drop it.

I also find it surprising he hasn't had more of a career in coaching, given his playing record. The guy might be 70, but so was Warnock, and the club could probably do worse than get him in on a retainer to try to do something - anything - for our hapless No. 1. If anyone needs a mentor right now, it's Joe.
[Post edited 15 Jan 21:07]
Warburton/Woodgate post-match on the BBC
at 18:47 9 Nov 2019

No idea what the hell is going on with the incompetent BBC today re reporting our game. First they report all kinds of players are missing for Boro who turn out not to be, then apparently Woodgate seems to be telling the world they won! Is it me going mad?

As for Warburton's post-match comments, I'm worried! For the second week running, he responds to our allowing the division's lowest scorers to increase their season's goal tally by 10% on our patch by flimsily bleating that 'we're human', and then talks about how (as the division's third top scorers!) we're not clinical enough in front of goal. It's just perverse!

I do more and more get the feeling, partly because he brought in Barbet, Kane and Wallace, he's in denial about criticising any of them - but especially Barbet. We could and should have won today, and the manager needs to work out how we're going to progress from having one third of a decent side - the attack - to a properly functioning team.
[Post edited 9 Nov 2019 18:48]
What do we need?
at 05:37 3 Oct 2019

4 players, I'd suggest.

A goalkeeper. (How I miss my Smithies!)

A tall (or alternatively small) ball-playing central defender. Are Danny Maddix and/or Paul Parker still in the building?

A midfield, Sean Derry-esque enforcer.

A better than Hugill Hugill (who I fear is looking less and less like an upgrade on Matt Smith, boys and girls).

(I make that a spine. We need to grow a bit of it.)

I shall ask Santa, as Mr Hoos doesn't quite warm the cockles in this domain.

That is all.
[Post edited 3 Oct 2019 5:44]
Antonio German
at 21:44 18 Sep 2019

Sad, tawdry and actually professionally scandalous story on the BBC today re the termination of his career with a Malaysian club 'for his own protection' after racist abuse from his own fans.

According to his Wikipedia page, the guy's racked up a ridculous 16 clubs (including 6 loans) in 8 years since his little not very distinguished spell (22 apps, 3 goals) with us ended. Something not quite right there, I'd say, quite apart from his skin being apparently 'too dark' for those lowlife Malaysians.

On the subject of ex-Rs who don't cut it, anyone heard of what's going on with JET these days?
On the importance of the new manager: open letter to Lee 'Teflon' Hoos
at 21:20 13 Apr 2019

Dear Lee,

I read with interest your use of the QPR website today to 'speak' - if only because it clarifies what I've recently pointed out to my little online tribe (albeit some fans seem not yet to have understood, or to want to) that you, as CEO, club spokesman and, bizarrely, former 'Co-Chairman', are as much part of 'hiring and firing' managers at QPR as Les, Amit and the rest of our baffling Board.

Just a word or two to the wise, and a quick query for now:

I was a QPR supporter while you were still studying at CEO school in the USA, so please don't tell me, in your folksy, faux-matey way, what it is to be QPR supporter. I know! I've been one (and a season ticket holder, club member, and fanzine contributor), in various guises and places, for 42 years. Like many others, I still will be when you've moved on for the sake of your career. Humouring me after the last four months won't wash, so just zip it - you don't have the credit!

The defeat against Norwich wasn't 'forgettable' , to use your no doubt carefully chosen bit of semantic spin (I know you did a bit of training as a lawyer too) - it was all too horribly memorable for all the wrong reasons under the footballing sun! Today's performance didn't 'put it right' either, although it was a mercifully welcome reclamation of a decent slice of pride. The truth is the players owe us fans big time with four more comparable showings - and only now to seal our safety and play for some restored credibility.

Finally, having played your considerable part in the fiasco of the incoming/outgoing JFK, Ian Holloway and Steve McClaren, what, precisely, makes you feel the fanbase should trust you (or anyone else at QPR) with the future recruitment of coaches, players or even the tea lady, and that you're not part of the problem rather than the solution? I'd really love to know - from you or anyone.

Today's performance by the players has come, as I say, as a bag of blessedly belated relief, but it isn't going to have me turning cartwheels after the way this club has been the worst in the land (bar the Leeds game) for the entire calendar year, or suddenly deciding it's not run by a bunch of shysters, if not rank incompetents. After the appalling combination of fecklessness, amateurishness, laziness and gutlessness (albeit with sprinklings of rank bad luck) for pretty much the whole of 2019, the alienation of a former well-loved club man and the farcical disconnect between the last manager's appointment and his removal, one swallow does most definitely not a summer make. You and the management team have a whole lot of work to do to convince me you're fit for purpose, and then some.

My eyes will be on you all, very closely indeed, in the close season and next campaign. As a kind of uber-accountant, you'll understand you're accountable in more ways than one. I'm sorry your complacent statement did not make me think you feel even a sliver of warranted embarrassment at your performance in regard to recruitment, or at least you couldn't bear to admit it.

You and others may find me harsh - so be it! For one who says he never gets involved in the football side, nevertheless, it's bizarre to me you're going to be dunking your oar in with the next recipient of our peculiarly poisoned chalice.

Yours, etc.,
Why I hate pro football and its apologists (and/or falling out of love with QPR)
at 22:59 12 Apr 2019

Inspired by Clive Whittingham's exemplary form of 'loving hatred' for QPR in his Norwich report (and in no particular order):

1. The banal, Orwellian, reality-indifferent, intelligence-insulting bullshit spouted to fans to deny the evidence of their eyes, hearts and minds after phoned-in performances (step forward Messrs Hoos, Eustace, and others too numerous/tedious to mention)
2. Slowing the game down, running the ball into corner flags and doing anything but play football in the interests of fan-despising 'game management' (some sharp-eyed readers may already notice an emerging pattern here)
3. The impossiblity of taking corners without multiple incidents of holding/pulling/ fainting/biting (usually permitted by unfit for purpose referees)
4. The diabolically shit (sub)standard of said refereeing below the Premiership
5. The lack of accountability and/or cynicism of DoFs, CEOs and chairmen for their misguided appointments and reversals of same a few days/weeks/months later
6. All-seater stadiums and the destruction of atmosphere (now tragicomically reappropriated by clubs' sequestration of 'singing areas' - what Baudrillard might call the ironic revenge of the object)
7. The rebranding of said stadiums with aesthetically bankrupt non-names foisted upon them by foreign consortia, supermarkets and ring roads etc.
8. The evident lack of love of many players for the game, many of whom have ended up, (I'm sure insignificantly) playing for QPR (Zamora, Assou-Ekotto, Barton, Jones etc. etc.)
9. The satanic subversion of the live game by Sky
10. Inane music/jingles when goals are scored
11. The ticket prices, and justifications for same
12. The nasty/negligent/unfit for purpose stewarding
13. QPR's 'Family Stand' bollox
14. The disappearance of flair
15. The grim poetry of Stan The Man losing his mind.

To misquote Sylvia Plath, 'once one has been bummed in the gob, what is the remedy?'.

Over and out!
[Post edited 12 Apr 2019 23:01]
Lee Hoos on Clive's Norwich report (via yours truly)
at 12:35 10 Apr 2019

It appears to have been written by a robot! Is Lee Hoos perhaps a robot?

If Clive hasn't torn all of his hair out by now, I'm sure the last tufts will be on the floor after seeing this! It was a 'disappointing' result, wans't it? And I'm quite sure the players 'will be doing all they can' to put it right tonight. (LIke they did against Rotherham. And Bolton. And Stoke. And . . .)

I'd say Hoos' reply itself tells you something crucial about the current culture at our club - a pile of corporate speaking, 'listening' while not listening, bland, passive-aggressive bullshit! Is it just me or does it read as another nail in our coffin?


Dear Mr Thomas,

Thank you for your email.

I welcome feedback from supporters as it provides me with a valuable insight which I use so that we can work together to move forward.

I have taken the time to read Clive’s match report and share his views that the result against Norwich was disappointing, I know the players will be doing all they can to make sure they put it right on Wednesday.

We are currently assessing all options available for the managerial position and we will make a decision based on the best interests for the long-term future and stability of the club and for our loyal supporters.

Kind regards,

Lee Hoos
[Post edited 10 Apr 2019 12:37]
Eustace post-match
at 15:48 6 Apr 2019

A whole 84 seconds on the Offish, but could he be any more banal, boring and uninspiring if he tried? He almost sounds breezy about it all. 'Can't put his finger on' what went wrong after an utter mauling that could have been 0-8, a quarter of which was against 10 men!? He's not really a professional football manager, is he?

I don't see us getting anything at Millwall, who will surely be champing at the bit after seeing that shower of shite today.

As I write, people, Reading, Birmingham, Wigan and Millwall (who also have a game in hand on us) all winning - all of whom could be above us by close of play next weekend, with ourselves one place above the relegation trapdoor. The only tiny relief is Rotherham are 'only' drawing with Forest.

I still think we'll just about squeak through, but whether that's heart, head or blind hope speaking now, you tell me.

After 43 years, I've truly lost faith in the whole shambles.
[Post edited 6 Apr 2019 15:53]
McClaren's statement
at 20:32 4 Apr 2019

'In a statement released by the League Managers Association, McClaren said: "It's been a privilege and honour to have managed QPR, a club with such great history and tradition in English football.

"I am very disappointed to be leaving at this stage of the season after everybody has worked so hard to achieve the club's target of staying in the Championship.

"After a bad start, our performances midway through the season saw us challenging for a play-off place. Unfortunately, since then results have proved inconsistent but, with seven games to go, I felt very confident that staying in the league was achievable.

"We worked hard to build an environment and culture to develop young players for the long-term stability of the club. However, we are in a results-based business and unfortunately both results and patience weren't forthcoming.

"My thanks to the owner and board for giving me the opportunity to manage QPR and to the staff and players, who have been a pleasure to work with.

"Finally, thank you to the supporters who stayed loyal to the players throughout the ups and downs of the campaign. I wish everyone well for the remainder of the season."


Somehow manages to be dignified, resentful and delusional all at once. At any rate, it's hard to imagine a more surreal euphemism than 'inconsistent' for what we've had to endure since Xmas. And what exactly does it mean to present oneself as having created a 'culture' for the young players to thrive in if they were bombed out en masse on loan? If we weren't sure wheter or not he'd lost the dressing room, he'd clearly lost the plot.

For me, the fact that he ultimately suggests, had he not been sacked, he'd have had a chance of keeping us up says it all in terms of his own epitaph on his tenure. Not so much managing expectations as lowering them to the point of subterranean! That's what a 'team of men' gets you, evidently.

Painful, really! Don't let the door smack your arse on the way out, Steve.
(Our) timewasting
at 20:44 1 Jan 2019

Is anyone going to do the decent thing and call it out?

That's two bookings I think at least for Lumley now - one of the stupidest/most egregious offenders in the team, and possibly the most slow-mo keeper in the league when it comes to taking goal kicks or, well, doing anything, really. Presumably he'll be getting a ban at some stage, and I'll be interested to see what our manager has to say if/when he does.

13 minutes added on today is surely some kind of record. I know at least half of that was due to the aforementioned Lumley's injury, but that means the other half wasn't. When we're tired at the end of the 90 minutes after a really tough game like today, that could easily bite us on the bum. Today, we got away with it.

It's something when it starts at 60 minutes and amounts to a V-sign to the fans. We pay to be entertained, not to endure this kind of horrible gamesmanship. The managment team need to deal with it off the field, and the players on it - if not, referees need to start clamping down much harder. Going into the corners in the last couple of minutes is one thing, but for some reason it seems to have become utterly flagrant this season at this level.

We fans at HQ could take a lead by booing it loudly, including when we're ahead. But I'm not holding my breath. Though it was a very commendable point today, being dumped on by Villa fans calling us cheats sticks in the craw.
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