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This week - let's all laugh at Luton?
This week - let's all laugh at Luton?
Wednesday, 16th Jul 2008 09:52

Chances are over the past few years we’ve all wished ill on Luton Town at some point, but as the authorities condemn them to a meaningless season and non league future should QPR fans be rejoicing or taking their side?

Luton’s points deduction - a joke in every sense of the word?
So we started to walk. There were about 1500 of us, all frozen and miserable. Hardy souls who just wanted to get home after another devastating night of suffering at the hands of our team. Despite battering Luton for a full 96 minutes we’d contrived to crash out of the FA Cup thanks to a late volleyed own goal from Zesh Rehman and now, after descending the rickety old stair case and exiting the away end via an Indian family’s front room, we had emerged into the cold night air and the darkness of the street to be greeted by a line of police officers and a ‘thou shalt not pass’ message.

We stood for what seemed like an eternity and then we very slowly started to move. With police front and back, left and right our convoy made snail’s pace progress down the back streets of Luton towards the main Dunstable High Road. “Where are we going?” I asked a copper. “Train station,” he replied. “That’s no good to me I drove here, I live in Sheffield, I’m parked in the opposite direction,” I pleaded. “Tough”.

And it was tough. Bedfordshire’s finest genuinely did intend to march 1500 QPR fans through Luton town centre in the middle of the night to the train station and then force them to board trains to London regardless of where they lived, how they’d got to the match or if their car was parked somewhere in that hell hole hoping that its owner would return before its alloys were replaced with house bricks. As the road opened out I made a break for it, and I wasn’t alone. QPR fans scattered everywhere and were immediately pelted with coins and abuse from all sides. The police made attempts to grab us as we legged it and some Rangers fans fell to the ground but eventually we made our escape, into the disgusting alley ways and side streets that surround Luton’s poxy, horrible, fire trap of a stadium.

Most of us were perfectly law abiding citizens, certainly I’ve never been involved in any trouble at football or anywhere else and the only crime I’ve committed to date was a speeding offence, but we’d been penned into a clearly unsafe stand for 90 minutes at a cost of 20 pounds and then we’d been falsely imprisoned on the street by a police force that planned to tell us where we were going and how we were getting there. As I eventually made my way back to the car, a full hour after the final whistle, I said a silent prayer. No more. After three visits to Luton in three months, one for a rained off fixture, and several other trips to this cesspit in recent years I prayed for no more.

There is no pleasure in watching football at Kenilworth Road. There is nowhere nice, or safe, to drink or eat before the match, anybody more than three feet tall struggles to get into the seats in the away end, the stewards are rude and obnoxious, the stand would claim the lives of everybody in it were it to ever catch fire with two three foot wide exits at the back and a four foot concrete wall at the front and the home fans hate us with a passion I’ve rarely seen and express this with loose change and bodily fluids. You can’t see the match, you’re treated like a prisoner of war by the police afterwards and all in all it’s everything a trip to the football should not be and if I could have had one wish that night as Zesh drew his foot back from 15 yards out it would have been that that was my last ever trip to Luton bastard Town.

It’s been granted with bells on. Not only were they relegated that year but a last minute diving header at the Loft End from Paul Furlong hammered the final nail in. I’ve had sexual intercourse less satisfying than that moment. Then, just in case they tried to return, Luton’s finances collapsed and they suffered a ten point deduction that helped to relegate them again last season. That meant there were two divisions between us. The faces of the scum bags that sit to the right of the away end and spend the whole game looking and screaming at the travelling fans rather than the football flashed before my eyes and I smiled. Enjoy Accrington Stanley lads.

Then, just in case they had any heart left in them and tried to climb back up the ladder again, it was discovered that the Hatters had made illegal payments to agents. Their exit from their creditors agreement wasn’t exactly kosher either. Another ten points off, then 15, then 20, and now 30 points making it 40 in total in six months. Everyday I woke up to the news that Luton had been deducted yet more points. The Conference beckons. Have fun at Lewes on a Tuesday night lads. To think they moaned about going to the Withdean - soon they won’t even be playing the best team in Brighton. Brilliant eh?

No, actually. You see my hatred of Luton burns brighter than most. I hate their fans, their ground, the town, Mike Newell, Steve Howard, Mark bloody Pembridge, David Pleat dancing across the pitch, the bright orange shirts, the stand that isn't a stand at all, their police force, big fat Joe, the fact that they blamed and targetted QPR fans for our club's decision to sign Tony Thorpe, the fact you have to leave the game ten minutes early or face two hours being slowly marched through the town, the coins you get pelted with, the spit you get drenched with. Everything. I hate them. I never thought anything could happen to them bad enough for me to do anything other than point and laugh at them. But even I have looked on with increasing concern and, in recent weeks, outrage at their treatment at the hands of the authorities.

The ten points off for administration last year I can accept, and probably to my discredit, revel in. Luton certainly aren’t the first club to lose points that way and although some may see it as distasteful that Michael Ballack could have paid their creditors off with his wages and sponsorship money alone inside three months clubs in the lower leagues can’t moan and complain about how money doesn’t filter through from the top enough. It doesn’t, we know it doesn’t, it’s out of order but you can’t stand up in court and stamp your feet and say it’s really unfair, cloth has to be cut accordingly.

Their first points deduction for this coming season by the Football League I can also accept. After all Leeds United were deducted 15 points for the same thing last year and we all thought, and still think, that was a terrific laugh. But why have Luton been deducted five more points than Leeds for the same offence? Leeds were deducted 15 points, Luton 20. Why?

It’s now getting a bit silly. Another ten points have been taken off by the FA for the agent offences which means Luton have to win ten games just to break even this season. They’re going to have to display championship form throughout the campaign just to stay up. Essentially they’re now faced with nine months of meaningless football before dropping to the Conference. Some still may find this funny, to be honest I don’t blame you much for that after our experiences there over the years, but perhaps the thought that we could so easily have gone into administration this time last year may temper the laughter. Imagine us dropping through the leagues with one points deduction after another. I’ve often said never feel sorry for anybody in football because they won’t feel sorry for you but it’s hard not to sympathise with Luton at the moment.

Especially when West Ham, who also got involved with some dodgy conduct with agents and player registrations, were let off without a points deduction that would have relegated them one division because the offences were committed by a previous regime and the punishment would upset their fans. Both of those things apply to Luton. In fact the FA even admitted yesterday in their statement that it's unfortunate for the loyal Luton fans. So if it's unfortunate why haven't they been let off like West Ham were? The legal system works on precedence, it makes it fair. How can the authorities justify docking more points from Luton than Leeds? And punishing them harshly while letting West Ham off? They can't. There is no justification. 

Some would say that West Ham were fined an seven figure sum and if the same fate were to befall Luton the club would go out of existence altogether. However I’d say to them that fining a club with billionaire owners £5.5m is essentially like trying to slap them on the wrist but missing altogether. Not only is it not a punishment but it makes the governing body look ridiculous.

Of course the leniency shown towards West Ham may have had something to do with their status as a famous name and cash rich presence in the “best league in the world” (copyright Richard Keys) while Luton are the footballing equivalent of the dog shit you tread into your living room carpet by accident. Still it’s hard to see how those running the Football League and the Football Association can sleep at night while the name of Luton Town stands out at the bottom of their league tables on -30 points with 24 days until the season kicks off and no means to do anything about it. A grossly unfair punishment that goes against very recent precedent. Everyday something happens that makes me love our great sport a little bit less.

...and back on the home front
I’m not the luckiest of people all in all. I am, my old school friends will tell you, the boy who broke both his arms in two places after swinging from a particularly high branch and letting go and then 18 months later fractured my cheekbone by sledging head first into the same tree. However I thought the events of Monday were particularly unfortunate even by my standards.

You see travelling from Sheffield to every QPR game takes a little bit of planning and, thanks to the unique way the British railway system tries to rip off its passengers at every possible opportunity, plenty of advance booking. I resisted the urge to start booking anything other than holiday from work, most of which I was refused, when the fixture list was released because I have a feeling Sky Sports may show quite an interest in us this season and sure enough within a few days our match at Reading had been put back to a Saturday evening kick off.

I can’t say the trip to the Madejski Stadium was one I was looking forward to very much so the chance to stay at home and watch that on the television was a welcome one. Sky’s games for the first three months of the season apparently picked I started booking trains for the remaining fixtures. I was initially quoted ridiculous prices of around £80 return for the two home games in September so decided to leave those for a while and see if anything cheaper came up but I bought seats for five or six other fixtures and was quite happy with that.

In an effort to cheer myself up and relieve the boredom on Monday this week I decided to have a look and see if the two September home games had come down in price and sure enough two £16 return tickets had appeared so at 1152 I snaffled them up for my younger brother and me for the Southampton home game. At 1154 it was announced that Sky had moved this, and our game at Birmingham, as well. The tickets are non-refundable. Now that’s bad luck.

Why didn’t they pick these games in the first place? Why was there suddenly a second round of televised games picked this week? Why weren’t we told? Agh, the frustration of it all. People have spoken about writing to the club or writing to Sky or stomping their feet but at the end of the day it’s part of the modern game – a part that we’ll have to get much more used to if and when we ever make it back to the top flight.

Manchester United have been known to go months at a time without a 3pm Saturday kick off and while I’m not about to have sympathy for those arseholes in the same column as I’ve empathised with Luton Town it’s still a poor situation for fans to be in. Even a club like Hull or Stoke can expect several awkward Monday night trips to Newcastle, Saturday tea time kick offs in Portsmouth or half past eleven starts at Middlesborough. Bollocks to the supporters.

Obviously QPR want to be on the television – for the money it brings and the increased brand awareness we’re apparently so keen on chasing. However I wonder if any club has ever thought about telling Sky to get stuffed? Is the money we get for staging one match really enough to compensate for the two or three thousand it knocks off the gate? Maybe it is. But what if a club was to just say no we’re not moving our match, it’s kicking off at 3pm on a Saturday when our supporters want it to and that’s that. Can clubs even do that? And does anybody want to buy two return tickets from Doncaster to London on September 13?

How QPR do in their three televised fixtures, and the other 43 matches next season, remains to be seen of course. The R’s return to action this Saturday at Stevenage, one of five first team friendlies scheduled to take place before the big kick off on August 9.

I find myself worrying about our pre-season again to be honest – sad bastard, yeh I know. For me our pre-season preparations over the past three summers have left a lot to be desired and while we’ve never quite plumbed the depths of the Italian tour and MK Dons disaster of 2005 we really haven’t put together a decent pre-season campaign for some time. With my limited knowledge of the game I’d like to see six matches, a couple of non league teams to start, then a couple of lower league sides, and finally a couple of quality sides to finish. Unless Chievo turn up with their starting eleven fully committed and ready to go then once again we’re going to be facing an opponent on the opening day of the season better than anything we faced during the summer.

Of course last summer we played Fulham and lost Simon Walton to a broken leg which killed all hope of John Gregory doing anything at all with that team but he could have done that against Wycombe or Harrow Borough or in training like Rowan Vine. For me you need at least one taxing friendly against a Tottenham or a Celtic or a Portsmouth just to get your eye in and I can’t help but think that Barnsley, who play Wigan at Oakwell a week before meeting us, might just have the match sharpness edge on day one.

I’d be interested to know your thoughts as always.

Discuss this story on the Message Board

Fourteen users have commented on this story. Click here to add your thoughts:

Luton is a s***hole. we dont care. You make out like you were attacked for no reason...Bollox. thats is the treatment you will get in luton if you try and take the piss thought you would have realised that by now the amount of times you claim to have come here. In reponse to spitting etc yes we did that to your lot because you are c****, mouthy w***** c****. toodles - Nichollsisgod

Pikey boy, you have pretty much summed up why everyone hates your poxy little club and hell hole of a town. Enjoy the non league, look forward to seeing you play the mighty Windsor & Eton soon. - FFE

The reply you got from a Luton fan sums up why there should be little sympathy or empathy for them. The fans get what their behaviour deserves. - Dave

I too thought that the treatment Luton has received was very harsh, considering the punishment of others with similar offences, but reading the comments from Nichollsisgod, I have now totally changed my mind. Your few paragraphs were beautifully put together, and without being patronising, by someone who strikes me as being coherent, patient and above all a true football supporter. The reply was neither coherent nor decent in any way and of course, as befits someone with clearly limited intelligence, missed the points you were making in favour of Luton Town FC. If that reply is a true reflection of the supporters of Luton, then I hope they enjoy life in the Isthmian League in the very near future should they exist at all. - Ivan

I would rather Play Basra Town away than Luton Town. Nasty fans Nasty Club Good Riddance - Robert

I guess much of what you say about our ground and the location is true and attempts to find a new ground and the anticipated money that directors thought could be made from it has really been the reason for our present state. We were shafted by directors, shafted by the FL and now shafted by the FA. Clearly we should have had points deducted for going into administration but why more than Leeds? Why we lose 10 points for paying agents through a holding company rather than through the football club is beyond me. Certainly, and as you say, it is a trifling offence when compared with West Ham's. I see little prospect of avoiding relegation and although I have bought a season ticket for next year all I can look forward to is being present when we finally get kicked out of the league. And that I probably won't be going to football after this coming season. Overall I think your views are well balanced - certainly not deserving the comments of nicholsisgod. But then anyone who truly believes that Nichols is God knows about as much about football as my wife. More importantly, you re so right when you say that it could easily have happened to you and also that you love football less each day. After nearly 60 years as a Luton supporter today I know exactly how you feel!  - dabarker

I am a Luton fan and after reading Nicholsisgod I have to say he does not speak for all luton fans, he is clearly a complete tool and the price we have to pay for care in the community. What is happening at my club is clearly a disgrace, League 2 is not going to be a competitive division this season with Bournemouth and Rotherham also due to receive points deductions. Instead of kicking teams in the nuts when they're down the powers that be should be helping especially as it was the League who gave the previous owners the go ahead after apparently passing their robust checks on eligibility. I agree that Luton and our stadium is a hell hole but you can't help who you support, I know we have moronic fans and I know out ground is sh!t but this is an issue for football in general. In order to stay in the league the new directors have had to sign an agreement to withdrawn their right of appeal, child killers have more rights than this! Anyway, for those of you who are supportive we give you our thanks. - jon

I think what has happened to Luton is a disgrace! No club should be punished like that. After seeing what clubs like West Ham have got away with it just is completely unfair. I feel sorry for their fans and the people connected with the club, hopefully they will bounce back soon. being a QPR fan, yes we have had problems at Luton in the past few seasons but Luton are a old club with history and the matchday experience is what the football away days are all about... take the rough with the smooth!! Poor stadium, shit hole town - agreed but so what. - Ben

Nicholisgod your a horrible little muggy git. Sort your life out mate. On the contrary, these are very traumatic times for LTFC, but thats football. We are QPR x -qpr_yuley

I am a Luton fan, who was forwarded this link by a QPR mate, and I think the article was good. Nichollsisgod is clearly of sub-standard intelligence, if he is real. I doubt that he could actually read all the words and just picked out the first ones about us having a sh!t ground and a large proportion of tw@t fans (which I would agree is a widely accepted opinion). His incoherent, unstructured and nonsensical response is unrepresentative. You're right in that we've been shafted by everyone and the FA have firm displayed yet again what an out of touch bunch of idiots they are.... - anuj_d

All football people will have a degree of sympathy for LTFC,it's the fans that suffer...But this also the strength,my guess is that Luton will get stronger with fewer true supporters nad regain our respect long after "Nicholls is God" has deserted them for some other inane passion,or indeed after he has been banned by the Club.he brings discredit to a club with afine heritage and does not represent true Luton fans - mjcig

F*** 'em. -hillsy

Couldn't have happened to a nicer club. Let's all laugh at Luton, a la la la. Again, we'll never play you again....... You Rrrrssss! - A

Have always loved to hate Luton. But this is just wrong and i feel extremely sorry for the decent Hatters out there. We need Luton to exist in the football league, if for no other reason that i can continue loving to hate them. Any petitions that need signing etc please post the link on the message board. - Nic

 

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