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Middlesbrough 0 v 1 Queens Park Rangers
SkyBet Championship
Sunday, 5th July 2020 Kick-off 15:00
Hugill haunts his hometown, breathing life into QPR's lockdown - Report
Sunday, 5th Jul 2020 21:27 by Clive Whittingham

QPR stiffled their critics and made it seven away wins for the season with a 1-0 victory at Middlesbrough on Sunday.

The sort of points total that gets you into trouble in the Championship is not a particularly moveable feast. In a football league of 24 teams and 46 fixtures each, 50 is a pretty decent watermark.

Tell that to Peterborough, who went down with 54 in 2012/13, or Blackburn who were relegated on 51 three years ago, or Leicester and Walsall who went down with 52 and 51 respectively in the semi-recent past but, in general, over the last 20 years since QPR were relegated from this division for only the second time in the club’s 134-year history, the safety line hasn’t moved a great deal. Reading back through the third bottom teams in that period from Rotherham with 40 last season to Barnsley with 41 the season before, then Blackburn 51, Charlton 40, Millwall 41, Doncaster 44, Peterborough 54, Portsmouth 40, Preston 42, Sheff Wed 47, Norwich 46, Leicester 52, Southend 42, Crewe 42, Gillingham 50, Walsall 51, Sheff Wed 46, Crewe 49 and Huddersfield 48. Take all the emotion out of it, remove the masochism, ignore the woe-is-me fatalism and football fans’ penchant for ‘why always us?’ and it becomes simple mathematics.

Queens Park Rangers like to give this theorem the Good Will Hunting treatment. How close can we push it? What if, in the year Blackburn do get to 51 points in third bottom, we take a five win March and turn it into a seven defeat April? What if we get to 50, within six points of the play offs, with nine games to play, all of them against teams below us, and then lose every single one of them? It’s made the whole club jumpy – supporters, board members, managers, players. Ian Holloway spoke about it repeatedly - the eye-rolling, soul-sapping, here-we-go-again, bed-wetting, typical-bloody-QPR attitude that can snowball a routine pair of defeats into an all-encompassing crisis stretching on for games and games, weeks and weeks, defeat after defeat until managers are sacked, players are destroyed and written off, long term plans are torn up and the whole thing has gone to hell in a handcart. Fans race to be the first one to declare relegation imminent, a manager widely seen to be doing a good job in difficult circumstances not three weeks ago now surplus to requirements. QPR will almost certainly never win again, while half a dozen teams that haven’t been able to manage a point a game for 11 months will all go on a run of 4-0 wins. It can become a self-fulling, self-flagellation, shitshow. The Fields Medal, The Fields Medal.

And so we arrived in Middlesbrough. Three defeats from three matches, vague improvements against Fulham barely enough to dress the wounds of two wholly unacceptable no-shows against lowly Barnsley and Charlton, particularly as another pair of defensive errors meant Rangers were beaten in a London derby yet a-bloody-gain. Boro had taken one look at their pathetic 3-0 surrender to Swanselona in the first lockdown match and finally reached the inevitable conclusion that somebody who spent a playing career injured, scoring notable own goals, and booting Asian lads up and down Leeds High Street probably wasn’t going to be managerial material simply because he was born nearby. Into the Jonathan Woodgate breach stepped Neil ‘last job’ Warnock, for a twelfth annual farewell tour. With the sort of comic timing that’s made Mrs Brown’s Boys and Miranda successful in this country, the best QPR manager of recent times was back to face the club that binned him too soon and has never been the same since. I’m starting to think he doesn’t like Cornwall as much as he says he does.

Uncle Neil went big and early. Balls out of the bath. Against a team with just five clean sheets to its name this season, and the Championship’s third worst defence, he paired Ashley Fletcher and Britt Assombalonga together up front - £22m worth of Steve Gibson investment – with Man City loanee Patrick Roberts and QPR Twitfam cumsponge Ravel Morrison in support. #AnnounceRavel. QPR stuck with the back three system from Fulham, retaining Osman Kakay to the right of it, and selecting the faithful’s latest punching bags Todd Kane and Joe Lumley from the start. Lumley recalled for the first time since four successive goal-costing errors against Hull, Cardiff, Brentford and Sheff Wed over Christmas after Liam Kelly had himself been partly or wholly culpable in all four of the goals conceded under lockdown so far. QPR have been largely spoilt with goalkeepers over the last 50 years, 2019/20 has not been a vintage among them.

It felt like it was written. You could read it like a book. And not a very good book either. Certainly not Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab. Which actually improves with every read. But then, sometimes it does come back to simple maths. A team that had 50 points after 38 games doesn’t suddenly become a team that takes nothing from nine played. A team that’s struggled for a year to do a point a game doesn’t suddenly start stringing a Harlem Globetrotters routine together. There are odd examples, momentum can carry you into all sorts of unexpected places, but even with Neil Warnock’s muck and nettles routine, Middlesbrough lost at Hull City on Thursday night. Hull. Despite the outlay on forwards they’re the Championship’s lowest scorers this year on 40, and they looked every inch of that here against a comfortably superior QPR team.

Ryan Manning sent a bouncing bomb the goalkeeper’s way after two minutes. Ebere Eze made orphans of Dael Fry’s children after four, humiliating him tight to the byline, but got rather carried away with an attempted elaborate backheeled finish while the goal was gaping. Steady young Eberechi, stop waving it around and start fucking. Bright Osayi-Samuel streaked away from fright back Jonny Howson on five minutes but just overran the situation into touch with a supporting cast of thousands arriving into the penalty area waiting for a cut back. Todd Kane’s overhit cross nearly went in under the bar until Austrian goalkeeper Dejan Stojanovic, a hasty January replacement for West Ham-bound Darren Randolph, clawed it over the top. QPR’s first corner was well worked, and Eze’s shot off a short routine with Bright was headed behind. Middlesbrough had two midfielders – Howson and ex-Oxford protégé Marvin Johnson – playing full back and catalogue model George Friend tucked inside as a centre half alongside Fry. It was a cobbled together, patchwork set-up and it showed.

Not that QPR’s defence, on course for a third consecutive season of 70+ concession is anything to lube up for either. The set up at corners, in particular, is artery hardening and the first Boro one of the day was worked fairly simply and without too much effort to a completely unattended Howson whose shot was blocked.

Given what has gone before, it was an absolute steaming credit to Joe Lumley what came next. Naturally you assume he might want an early touch of the ball, there might be nerves that need settling. If you’re sitting at home just praying he doesn’t make another mistake, what do you imagine is rattling around his skull? What’s your biggest fear? A baseball being hit in my general direction. Yeh, good one. No, it’s that. It never showed. He came bounding off his line like a spring lamb to fist away a Boro corner on 14 and then when the ball was returned, and caught the QPR defence half pushed and half retreated, he produced a big, commanding save under Fletcher’s feet before he could get a meaningful shot away. One long ranger from Roberts was pouched without incident, another from Assombalonga was parried without risk. When Roberts fed Fletcher in on an angle, Joe stood big and tall at the near post and saved high up with one hand. My beautiful boy.

We’re going to talk about Jordan Hugill now - generation Z’s Devon White. Because here goes Fall Out Boy roaring away into the Middlesbrough half with nobody around him, after Osayi-Samuel intelligently won the ball back and freed him immediately on the counter attack, and, just, how do you like them with only George Friend for vague company and the whole goal to aim at? He delayed, narrowed the angle, and shifted the ball onto his weaker foot, as all good strikers are taught to do, lulling the opponent into a false sense of security before sliding the knife in. Somehow Stojanovic saved, having been given every chance to do so when he should never have even figured in the equation. All the question marks and angst and Twitter threads and podcasts over why Queens Park Rangers rely on loaned strikers each season and how much it costs and whether they’re actually that good, or that bothered, henced forth like the sort of tidal wave of cum Sky Sports presenters reserve for Wayne Rooney completing passes or Leeds United winning away games until, just hold on a minute here, Hugill latched onto a long through ball from Ryan Manning and, oh my God, immaculately chipped the goalkeeper from 30 yards out to make it 1-0.


Of course he did. There’s nothing more QPR, and more Hugill, than absolutely butchering a one on one chance with the goalkeeper one minute, then lobbing him perfectly from 30 yards out the next. Not only that, but killing his hamstring to death in the process. We’re not allowed nice things. Earlier his trademark lean-back-and-stick-your-boot-through-it finishing technique had actually benefitted us for a change as he stuck a Jonny Howson free kick high and handsome over his own cross bar. What a very QPR/Hugill time that would have been for him to finally get his head over the ball. If the glorious winning goal is his last action for the club this season/ever, then he finishes with 15, and with Nahki Wells’ contribution it’s the first time since Gallen and Furlong in 2003/04 that we’ve had two strikers breach that barrier in a season. Warbs Warburton sent on big bad Ilias Chair to join Bright Osayi-Samuel in the smallest frontline workforce since Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

A second goal might have been nice. Eight before half time Ryan Manning was fantastic. Then Ebere Eze was fantastic. And suddenly Todd Kane was into clear space, brushing his hands through the long grass and running towards the ghost of his late wife as Hans Zimmer plays Now We Are Free. Johnson pushed him over, interrupting the narrative. Bloody scoundrel. Yellow card. And Manning’s low free kick, around the wall to catch out an unsighted goalkeeper, brought a very decent improvised save from Stojanovic.

Manning isn’t quite so crash hot defensively and it was something of a surprise that it took 44 minutes for Boro to try the big left to right switch over his head that had paid varying dividends for Barnsley, Charlton and Fulham the week prior. When they did, they got good results immediately. First Patrick Roberts chested down, got in behind, and drew a corner. Then straight away again he was able to cut inside, delay and commit players, and eventually see a shot blocked by desperate lunges from the last men standing.

1-0 at lunch.

QPR’s approach to the afternoon session was pretty clear, pretty early. There would be controlled possession, not really designed to do anything in particular, but also draining the clock and denying Middlesbrough any opportunity to get a head of steam up. Twice they completed 25 passes in a move without really going anywhere, burning away hours as they did it. Straight bat. Get past that.

All fine and well, unless Luke Amos passes it straight to Britt Assombalonga on 48 minutes in which case it’s time for plan B. Plan B in this instance was Osman Kakay. A bit of a stranger. One of those youth team graduates QPR seem to keep hanging around for year after year, contract renewal after contract renewal, loan after loan, without ever really having a use for other than making sure we’ve got enough bodies lying around to field an U23 team each week. He’d been noticeably impressive against Fulham, and here he was arguably QPR’s man of the match. Last seen in our colours in a 7-1 loss at West Brom two years ago, he’s giving all the indications of somebody who wants to seize a chance he wouldn’t otherwise have been afforded but for these strange times. He tackles people like he doesn’t want them hanging around here again. You hear them all over the empty stadium. You wince for the victims. He pocketed £15m worth of Britt Assombalonga before this, during this, and every second after it. In the end the former Wealdstone frontrunner chucked himself to the deck in the penalty area begging for a spot kick in such flagrantly brazen fashion that even referee Scott Duncan – whose grasp of the rules around kicks from the penalty mark is loose as a goose – had to book him for diving. Every now and again Kakay relieved the pressure by storming 80 yards down the field with the ball at his feet, at one point going all the way to the corner flag and then reversing a glorious pass into Ilias Chair for a potential second goal. It’s not a proper QPR team unless there’s a lad with dreadlocks doing bits in it, and on the evidence of the last 180 minutes we’ve potentially got a new prospect on our hands here.

There were odds and sods to report on before tea. Kakay, again, steaming in with a goal-saving header ahead of Assombalonga when Howson crossed well after Bright had been very harshly penalised. Roberts, Boro’s biggest threat by far, got through three challenges far too easily but saw a shot blocked. Lumley’s come-for-everything-ask-questions-later approach to crosses finally produced a bit of a fumble on 64 but Ravel Morrison, otherwise forlorn and completely anonymous (#announceRavel), toed the chance over. Uncle Neil made three Boro subs at once, and they made not a jot of difference. George Saville, an £8m player going against free transfer Dom Ball, saw yellow for rugby tackling Ebere Eze and it was about as effective as he’d been all day.

We shouldn’t pretend this wasn’t a 10p 5p arsehole day. Because it was. Partly because we convince ourselves it is, and partly because it was. On 71 minutes Roberts nutmegged Amos on halfway, and then rounded the sort of Dom Ball challenge that makes you think he won his place in this game in a raffle. He fed Assombalonga, who seemed certain to score, with men in support, arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh, until Yoann Barbet produced a big, fat, French block and a half that sent the ball sailing out for a meaningless throw in on halfway. It’s Yoann Barbet’s mum’s birthday today. She’s 60. Bon-fucking-jour.

To a neutral watching this, the game was done. QPR holding at arm’s length, Boro bereft and barely swinging, trainer considering a towel. As we lord recruitment elsewhere compared to our own it’s worth remembering again that Boro spent the thick end of £45m on this rabble while our team today was made up entirely of free transfers, youth team and loans. In a final 19 minutes of normal time and five added, with Neil Warnock’s big tub-thumping new manager bounce team pushing for an equaliser, I’ve written down two things, and one of them was Assombalonga’s attempt to con a penalty out of the immaculate Kakay. A scandal so cruel even Scott Duncan didn’t have the heart to enact it. The other was a mistake by the young defender, losing substitute Nmecha on another good Howson cross, but fortunately he volleyed over. In stoppage time Lumley powered off his line, came through a crowd, collected the ball, collapsed to the floor, and sealed the win. A return to action with no crowds to ironically cheer him may be an absolute tonic to a goalkeeper we were too quick to hail as the new messiah, and then equally hasty to write off. This was an all-encompassing, match-winning, commanding performance. I’m delighted for him.

Match Gallery: 12 photos

QPR engaged in all the dark arts we detest when they’re done to us. Ryan Manning, after an error, collapsed with a career ending knee injury, but was fine a few moments later. Lumley, helpfully, went to search for a ball for his goal kick, right at the back of the stand behind the goal. Luke Amos got a really bad touch of timewaster’s cramp. Ooooh no, it’s really sore, God, that stings, yeh, stop the play, stop the play, oooh, fuck me, that is tight, Jesus, no I’ll probably be ok, don’t bring the trainer on, just give me… yeh… let’s just give it… give it, yeh, a minute. No give me… 40 seconds, I’ll be ok, thanks, thank you, no, seriously.

Scott Duncan added five, and could have added ten times that. Boro wouldn’t have scored if we were still there now. It just doesn’t feel like that at the time, because of who we are and what we’ve seen.

Sometimes though, it’s just simple maths.

If the professor calls just tell him sorry, I had to go see about a girl.

Links >>> Picture Gallery >>> Ratings and Reports >>> Message Board Match Thread

Boro: Stojanovic 6; Howson 6, Fry 5, Friend 5, Johnson 4 (Coulson 80, -); Moukoudi 5, Saville 5 (Wing 65, 5); Roberts 7 (Tavernier 80, -), Morrison 4 (McNair 66, 6), Fletcher 5 (Nmecha 66, 5); Assombalonga 5

Subs not used: Dijksteel, Shotton, Clayton, Pears

Bookings: Johnson 38 (foul), Saville 51 (foul), Assombalonga 89 (diving)

QPR: Lumley 7; Kakay 7, Cameron 6, Barbet 7; Kane 6, Manning 7; Amos 5, Ball 6, Eze 7 (Oteh 70, 5); Osayi-Samuel 7, Hugill 6 (Chair 35, 6)

Goals: Hugill 32 (assisted Manning)

QPR Star Man – Osman Kakay 7 A surprise inclusion during the week against Fulham, nearly two years since his last QPR appearance, and did himself no harm at all there. Here we has confident, aggressive, bossed Assombalonga physically and frequently relieved pressure and changed the momentum of play by forcefully carrying the ball into enemy territory and then doing something useful with it.

Scott Duncan (Northumberland) 8 A poor referee, but kept a firm hand on this one without too many quibbles or complaints. Called Assombalonga’s late Oscar contender exactly right when, had he not made the effort to get around for a proper viewing, another angle could have led him to believe it was a penalty.

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terryb added 21:48 - Jul 5
"since QPR were relegated from this division for the only time in the club’s 134-year history"

You're forgetting the relegation back to the Third Division South in 1951/52 Clive, which was even before I was born!

That doesn't alter the relevance of your report though!
1

Northernr added 21:57 - Jul 5
BAH! Edit...
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Antti_Heinola added 22:12 - Jul 5
Thanks Clive. Of course, this was the first one since lockdown I've had to miss and it's the bloody win. Of course. By some miracle I snatched about 40 seconds of it in the park and saw the goal, and thought for a moment Todd Kane had done it.
Very glad of this win. Can't help feeling certain bed-wetters would have loved nothing more than a loss against Warnock (who I love, for the record). They'd have had a lovely evening. Turns out Warburton can change things up and motivate teams after all.
Big shout out to the poster screaming for Hugill to be dropped two games ago, too.
3

Myke added 22:27 - Jul 5
Cheers Clive, Too many LOL moments to mention today. As I just mentioned on the forum ( yeah I know I said I was never going to do that again, but hey, just entered month four of at least a five month unemployment lockdown and that's if schools return to normal over here in September) I believe that Lumley may have benefitted from there being no crowd present to barrack him if he erred. He is a confidence keeper and hopefully a clean sheet ( oh that rare beauty) will do him the power of good. As I argued last January, he is still a pup (as is Kelly) in goalkeeping terms and I think he could still do a job for us next season - and beyond. Credit to Warburton, he is not afraid to make big calls and cannot be accused of favourites or 'just muddling through' to the end of the season. As Brian said on the thread, if Lumley hadn't been recalled after the Fulham game, then clearly he had no future here. He was and has.
Kakay is another one I am so pleased for as the 7-1 humiliation at WBA that he was scapegoated for, becomes a distant memory. I questioned the necessity of playing three central defenders against one make-shift striker against Fulham, but here against the unquestionable ability of Assombalonga and Fletcher, Kakay (and his partners) more than rose to the challenge. It is gratifying to know that the likes of Ramsey and Eustace are keeping tabs on the likes of Kakay when he is out on loan and when he is training with the first team and that Warburton is listening to what they have to say. This has to give all the other players out on loan (like Smyth) a boost too.
Finally, on the down side, Hugill's reaction to his injury immediately after his super strike suggests rather more than a 'tightening' of his hamstring and being taken off as a 'precaution'. The man looked in a lot of pain, and as you rightly ask Clive, has he played his last game for the club? If so, so be it, give Oteh a decent run for the last 5 and see what he is made of. Because even if we win them all we won't go up and if he we lose them all we won't go down ( I promise) so never is there a better time to give them all a run. Maybe even give Clarke a few minutes, I know he is not ours, but feel a bit sorry for the lad. I know I shouldn't; he's already richer than me at a third of my age, but I guess we are all feeling benevolent this evening.
1

johann28 added 23:00 - Jul 5
Superb report; a perfect end to a great day A true masterpiece of prose: erudite, informative, witty. Wow.. 'Running towards the ghost of his late wife'?? Inspired. Am in awe🤗
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CliveWilsonSaid added 23:39 - Jul 5

I had Manning as man-of-the-match. Turning into such a good player. He benefits from this system as does Kane. As does the whole team really!
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ManinBlack added 23:56 - Jul 5
I will believe Warburton can motivate players the day we start winning most London derbies. For someone who has managed Brentford, I expected a better return than a 6-2 aggregate defeat. He must know how they get psyched up to play us so I expected him to gee our players up. I hope he proves me wrong next season and gets the results albeit there is a good chance Brentford or Fulham won't be with us.

Good result today and I hope we keep it going now and don't ease up again.
-1

Mistication92 added 02:02 - Jul 6
"QPR Twitfam cumsponge Ravel Morrison" - oh that's a sublime touch!

Generous 7 for Roberts? To me he had several corners and free kicks and did nothing with them, especially given the manhulks of Assombalonga and Fletcher to aim at. As NL pointed out on comms, I don't think he's going to make it at Man City. On that showing he'll do well to make it in the Championship.
1

timcocking added 04:35 - Jul 6
...smallest frontline workforce since Charlie and The Chocolate Factory...
1

Northernr added 07:40 - Jul 6
Mistication - Fair point, but he was the only one who looked like he might do something for them in open play. Needed a few desperate blocks at one time or another after he'd been able to run past several players.
0

Patrick added 08:24 - Jul 6
Welcome back, young Osman. I remember your debut in one of those semi-deserted league cup ties (in fact I sat next to your aunty) and thought "we've got a prospect here". Seriously, if the club are hesitating about whether to give the second RB contract to Rangel (who I have appreciated for his two seasons) or young (sorry, Angel) Osman, hesitate no longer.
1

MrSheen added 08:52 - Jul 6
Patrick Roberts...I dimly remember all the hype about him from Fulham. Did Freaky Felix destroy his confidence, or was he just not that good?
0

francisbowles added 09:46 - Jul 6
To MAN IN BLACK

If you don't think MW can motivate players then where do you think those performances from Lumley and Kakay (2) came from?
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ManinBlack added 09:58 - Jul 6
Mr Bowles we won one match. If we win all the remaining games I may agree with you. One swallow doesn't make a summer etc etc. I would like to think Lumley and Kakay self motivated themselves out of personal pride now they have been given a chance again in the team.
I may have been too specific about London derbies because we were in a position to challenge for the last play off spot at the resumption. We played the first two matches of this mini season as though there was nothing to be gained from winning. These woeful displays suggested our manager could not motivate them to their importance.
I have also mentioned Mick McCarthy pointing out that complaining about the restart puts negative thoughts in the players heads. In other words our manager may have inadvertently de-motivated the team. As a manager Warburton should have known to keep his private thoughts to himself.
0

SouthAfricanRanger added 11:03 - Jul 6
Thoroughly enjoyed reading that Clive. Like always. You have a unique talent to blend all so well together. Here is to a much better 2020/1 season for us.
0

francisbowles added 11:21 - Jul 6
ManinBlack
They had a duty of care to the players to voice their concerns. Yes it may have negative connotations but they did get a partial result in getting the first midweek date cancelled.
They were the leaders in the protest others meekly got in behind them.

Of course, nobody knows how many injuries they may have prevented but it's pretty obvious that they allowed a bit more rest and recovery in the schedule which is a good thing.
1

PinnerPaul added 11:24 - Jul 6
ManinBlack -afraid you have resorted to the frequently 'lazy' assumption that defeats are always the manager's fault and improvements are down to the players themselves - " self motivated" ??? - Come on! - No way of proving or disproving that as I'm sure you well know!
1

Paddyhoops added 11:34 - Jul 6
Hugill has been great for us. Sure he's a miss two score one kinda of striker. Thats why he's with us and not West ham.
I thought there were some strange comments from Finney on the podcast last week in relation to the loan system and its apparent lack of success.
I think we've done quiet well out our two strikers, Hugill and wells. OK, Clarke and Amos have been poor but to get 30 odd goals out Wells and Hugill is good business. I agree there are no return on them apart from keeping us in the division! However at the moment that enough.
Maybe we can shift away from the loan system once we flog Eze and Bright. It still won't guarantee us getting a couple of free scoring strikers who we can call our own because they are as rare as rocking horse shite!!

2

ManinBlack added 12:03 - Jul 6
Pinner I am well aware that the players can down tools so the manager gets the blame but the conversation was mainly about the manager motivating. The comments I made about the two specific players is that they have points to prove and if they want to be in the team it is down to them to show the right attitude and perform.
I struggle to understand why the manager can motivate us apparently against Middlesbrough but not against a London rival or why our team would be more motivated for Boro rather than against Charlton.
I don't know the answer but I just feel that if Warburton had embraced the restart and said it was great we have a chance to top the season off with a chance to be in the play offs it might have been more of a spur to the team than what he actually said. It was the point McCarthy was making which I agree with as he has manager experience that I don't have.
0

thehat added 12:16 - Jul 6
Brilliant report Clive - Loved reading every minute of that!!
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Addinall added 12:45 - Jul 6
Defending the author here. Clive clearly states that Rangers were relegated for only the SECOND time in there history.
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Addinall added 12:47 - Jul 6
Edit - Their history.
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Myke added 12:56 - Jul 6
Addinall, I think Clive changed it after a gentle reminder from TerryB - the power of modern technology!
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Addinall added 14:49 - Jul 6
Thanks for that Myke. My mistake Doh. Incidentally I was there to suffer the 1952 one. long time ago that.
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kingfisher6404 added 16:02 - Jul 6
Going to keep mentioning this: Our squad was built on the cheap and is facing opposition that has had squillions 'invested' in it. We know our defence struggles against pace and with set pieces so to beat a £20m-rated front line on Sunday was surely a tribute to the team? Clive praised Manning but I was surprised at Kane & Lumley's performances - welcome back (now keep it up)! MW must now push for 60 points or more!!
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