QPR can stop Manchester United climbing to the top of the league on Sunday if they can find a way to beat them for the first time in nine attempts and almost 22 years.

QPR (13th) v Man Utd (2nd)

Barclays Premier League >>> Sunday December 18, 2011 >>> Kick Off 12noon >>> Loftus Road, London, W12 >>> Live on Sky Sports 1

It was Colin Shindler, a Manchester City supporter, who titled his memoirs ‘Manchester United ruined my life’ and while I wouldn’t go quite that far myself, they have been like a London sewer rat to me during my 28 years on earth. I never seem to be more than five feet or five minutes away from them in some form.

I spent the first seven years of my life growing up in Grimsby where I attended a primary school that, as it was a mere 115 miles from Old Trafford, was full of horrible little boys in horrible Manchester United shirts. I went to a junior school in West London which, as it was just 211 miles from Old Trafford, was also full of horrible little boys in horrible little Manchester United shirts mixed in with the occasional Spurs fan. I went to secondary school in Scunthorpe which, as it was a slim 91 miles away from Old Trafford, was… I think you get the picture.

The fact that I was a QPR fan was of great amusement to them, the fact I actually went to watch QPR play games of football was totally alien. They would spend their Saturdays waiting for the scores to come in on Grandstand just to make sure that Man Utd had won again and QPR had lost again, then they’d spend their Mondays and a good portion of Tuesday taking the piss out of me. That I could name more Manchester United players than them and had been to more Manchester United matches than them didn’t embarrass them into shutting up as much as it probably should have done. Once a season, usually for a friendly match against a big European team, five coach loads of them would journey off over the M62 for an evening of meaningless football and trips to the Mega Store. I can feel the vomit bubbling inside me just writing about it.

My regular attendance at QPR games was actually sparked by a famous Rangers win against Manchester United. New Year’s Day 1992, Dennis Bailey hat trick, 4-1 televised win at Old Trafford – my dad could stand it no longer. Under strict instructions from my mother, who harboured dream of me growing up to be a normal person, he was forbidden from mentioning QPR in my presence or encouraging any interest in them from me. The deal was, if I mentioned them then he could go to town but not before that.

A 4-1 win at Manchester United, and a quiet week at school where I’d previously told everybody I supported QPR because my dad did without knowing a thing about Rangers or football in general, had me asking questions for the first time and before I knew it I was sitting in a pub near The Dell ready for an FA Cup Third Round tie with Southampton. We lost, and missed a penalty. I didn’t really understand how that could happen at the time. If QPR had beaten Man Utd at Old Trafford why were they suddenly losing, and playing abysmally, against this Southampton lot that I hadn’t really heard of before? But that’s QPR.

My dad would often put a drunken arm around my shoulder as such events unfolded and say “you don’t get this following Man Utd” as if it was a positive thing. Somehow in his eyes, and subsequently in mine, there was more honour in losing 2-1 to Stockport County in the FA Cup with your first team out than going there and winning 3-0 with your reserves and not really giving much of a toss about it. The horrible little boys at school didn’t think so, they found the Stockport episode particularly amusing I recall. It’s a phrase that often gets trotted out in our travelling group to this day, long after my father’s tragic death – the 20 stone man falling over a deckchair during the half time entertainment at Hartlepool, for instance, was a “you don’t get this following Man Utd” moment.

But what I’ve been waiting and longing for ever since that first ever QPR match in 1992 is to see Rangers beat Manchester United again. Initially chances came and went quite frequently. In my first season as a season ticket holder, 1992/93, QPR drew 0-0 at Old Trafford and should have won on their way to finishing fifth in the Premier League. At Loftus Road Rangers, in form and flying high in the table, were reckoned to have a good chance of beating the Reds but lost 3-1. The Lower Loft was packed with United fans, all wearing colours and making no attempt whatsoever to keep their presence under wraps in the time honoured manner for away fans stuck in the home end. I hated them a little bit more.

The season after we took the lead at Old Trafford but lost 2-1, the winning Eric Cantona goal allowed despite a blatant foul on a backtracking Darren Peacock in the build up. At Loftus Road we took the lead and lost 3-2. A year later we took the lead again, Les Ferdinand lashing home from 35 yards, and lost again 3-2. In the FA Cup we made it to the quarter final when there were six other teams we could have drawn home or away, but we pulled United away and lost 2-0. Lee Sharpe did his funky dance by the corner flag right in front of us. Fuck I really hated them now.

And then came 1995/96, when Les had moved north and been replaced by Danny Dichio and QPR were relegated. That was the time I genuinely held out no hope of us getting anything from Ferguson’s team as they arrived at Loftus Road on a ten game winning sequence – Rangers meanwhile had won only one of the previous 11 games. Oddly that’s as close as we’ve ever been in my lifetime, taking a deserved second half lead and then having it snatched from us by Eric Cantona during the second reading of the classified football results. My brother (indoctrinated as well by this point) and I were absolutely heartbroken. I can never remember anger, revulsion, disappointment and fury like it as a result of a poxy football match.

It’s burned in us both ever since. Watching United lose almost provides as much pleasure as watching QPR win. I celebrated so much when the second Basel goal went in to knock them out of the Champions League last week that a neighbour came around to make sure everything was ok. I cheered so loudly in The York in Sheffield when they lost at Stuttgart in a group match a few years back that somebody threw a pint pot at my head from 30 feet away. When Everton scored an injury time equaliser against them last season my brother vaulted over two of the long tables in the Green Room and tried to climb up on the bar.

This is bitter, small minded, petty jealousy and hatred born out of years of frustration – any United fans reading will be in stitches at how some nobody who supports Queens Park Rangers can trot out such bile about their club. Chances are, League Cup tie apart, they haven’t really thought about us for a single second since 1996 and here I am all pent up with the fires of hatred burning in my chest. Every college, university lecture theatre, office and pub I’ve ever studied, worked or drank in has always had a Man Utd fan or three. People who don’t go to the games, but watch them on Sky Sports, and feel the need to gloat about the relative fortunes of our two clubs.

It has crossed my mind that should QPR win this Sunday I might stop going. Jack it all in, turn the website over to somebody else, surrender the season ticket, do something else with my Saturdays. After all I’ll have seen everything I ever want to see in football, what would be the point any more? I’d have closure on 20 years of QPR support. I started because we’d beaten Man Utd and I’ve longed for us to do it again ever since.

Sadly, I fear I may have to wait a while longer yet.

Links >>> Opposition Focus >>> History >>> Referee >>> Betting

This Sunday

Team News: Neil Warnock must choose between in form Radek Cerny and fit again Paddy Kenny for the goalkeeping position. The Czech’s form at Anfield last week has relieved the pressure on Kenny to rush back from his side strain and he may well get the nod again. Heidar Helguson should be fit to start after missing out last week with a thigh strain and DJ Campbell will be fitter for his 20 minutes off the bench last Saturday and another week of training. Kieron Dyer, surprise surprise, is the first QPR player to be ruled out for the whole season meaning his QPR career is unlikely to ever extend beyond the four pathetic minutes he managed against Bolton on the opening day of the season. Anton Ferdinand has failed in his bid to recover from a hamstring injury in time to play against his brother so Warnock must select two centre backs from a worryingly sparse pool of Danny Gabbidon, Fitz Hall, Matthew Connolly and Bruno Perone.

United have centre back issues of their own with Nemanja Vidic out for the season. Johnny Evans seems the most likely candidate to replace him with Chris Smalling used more at right back and Phil Jones pushing forward into midfield. Darren Fletcher has been ruled out for the foreseeable future with illness (ulcerative colitis) and while young reserve team midfielder Paul Pogba is being tipped in parts to start, it remains to be seen how Ferguson reacts to the stories that he is set to turn down a contract and head to Inter Milan. Dimitar Berbatov is fit again after an ankle injury but Tom Cleverley, Fabio, Rafael and Javier Hernandez are all out until the end of the year while Anderson and Michael Owen are likely to be out even longer than that.

Elsewhere: QPR are the first part of a live triple header on Sky Sports on Sunday with matches between Villa and Liverpool and then Man City and Arsenal to follow later on Sunday afternoon. This means that United can go top of the table, for a few hours at least, with a victory in W12 which would then pressure City and their ex-Arsenal contingent into getting a result against the Gunners at 4pm. Tottenham are also playing on Sunday, at home to Sunderland, as a result of their final European match of the season on Thursday night in Ireland.

Six of the seven teams below QPR in the table are in action today and Rangers can drop to just one place and one point above the drop zone if things go badly. Fulham host Bolton and West Brom go to Blackburn in a pair of six pointers while Wigan welcome Chelsea to the north west in the Saturday evening kick off on ESPN. Wolves are at home to Stoke. If you’re an optimist and looking the other way then two of the teams just above us, Everton and Norwich, are playing each other while Swansea face a difficult trip up to Newcastle.

Referee: World Cup final referee Howard Webb is in charge of our match this weekend, a man dubbed “Fergie’s rent boy” by supporters of opposition clubs who believe he shows Manchester United bias. We’ll see for ourselves on Sunday I suppose. This is the second time Webb has refereed a QPR game this season after previously taking our 3-1 defeat at Spurs, also televised on a Sunday afternoon. He refereed our play off final defeat against Cardiff back in 2003. A full case file is available here.

Form

QPR: Rangers are still stuck on one home win for the season (against Chelsea) after yet another drawn match that should have been won against West Brom. The Baggies join Newcastle, Villa and Blackburn in escaping from W12 with a point after being second best for long periods of the game. Only Man City and Bolton have won at Loftus Road this season. Rangers have won just one of their last six games and haven’t kept a clean sheet in any of them. Only the bottom three in the league have a worse points haul from home games so far than QPR’s seven.

Man Utd: Strange that people seem to be so keen to write United off considering they can go top of the table with a win in this match. They won the title last season with just five away wins to their name, and have already matched that total this term – this time last year they’d only won once on the road. Their home win against Chelsea earlier this season equalled a 108 year club record for 18 consecutive home wins, although since then Basle, Man City, Benfica, Newcastle and Crystal Palace have all achieved a draw or better at Old Trafford. Away from home victories have already been achieved against Villa, Swansea, Everton, Bolton and West Brom. They have won their last three away matches in the league 1-0 and are unbeaten on the road this season in the Premier League. They have only lost once in the league this season and have scored in all 15 games so far. Nani’s goal against Chelsea meant that he had scored the same amount of goals in his first 100 appearances for the club as Ronaldo did in his, but Nani also had 33 assists to his name by that point where Ronaldo only had 12.

Betting: Professional odds compiler Owen Goulding says…

Sunday brings with it one of the games Loftus Road has been waiting to host for some time now. And from a betting point of view, what better time to face Man Utd? Vidic and Hernandez (among others) missing. I would say the loss of Vidic could be huge, but this depends on Helguson being fit and putting in a performance similar to that against the other Manchester based team. Johnny Evans is the likely replacement and he certainly makes Man Utd more vulnerable defensively. In fact the Reds have only kept a clean sheet in one of their last six games. Unfortunately for QPR, the hoops haven't kept a single clean sheet since the infamous win against Chelsea. Therefore, I struggle to see the logic in some betting firms being favourite that both teams DON'T score. Therefore my bet recommendation for the big game is 'BOTH TEAMS TO SCORE' at Evens with Skybet.

Prediction: Brave resistance, a good start, maybe even the opening goal, and then a defeat. Life’s just not that good.

Man Utd to win 3-1, 13/1 with Unibet. Draw half time, Man Utd full time 18/5 with William Hill. Tweet @loftforwords

Photo: Action Images

Rs4life added 23:04 - Dec 17 Bloody United fans
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MelakaRanger added 02:22 - Dec 18 We win, we lose. Anything from this game is a bonus. But we must win against Sunderland. We simply must. Anything else means its time to panic.
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