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Mother Teresa Declared A Saint ! Liverpool Preparing January Bid !
Monday, 5th Sep 2016 15:18

Even as Mother Teresa was being declared a Saint in front of huge crowds at the Vatican, the transfer committee was already meeting on Merseyside.

Mother Teresa was today officially announced as a Saint with a massive press conference at the Vatican in Rome.

Pope Francis (Not Benali) declared "Blessed Teresa of Calcutta to be a saint." and sporadic applause broke out amongst a capacity crowd in front of St Mark's many of whom had taken advantage of a ticket bundle sponsored by Virgin(Mary) Media that gave a discounted rate for those that also bought tickets for Sunday's mass and the Vatican Choir's Thursday gig outside the Sistine Chapel.

But even as sporadic applause broke out amidst the assembled crowds a shadowy figure at the back was making notes and furtively texting.

Back on Merseyside Liverpool FC's transfer committee was already meeting and preparing the details of a £40 million pound bid to take the latest big name Saint to Anfield.

Speaking in Scouse, Jurgen Klopp said that

"after due deliberation and frequent prayer for divine assistance, and having sought the counsel of many of our brother bishops (Im assuming he is referring to John Bishop and his brother who played for Tranmere here) , we declare and define Blessed Teresa of Calcutta to be a Saint, and that being the case we intend to enroll her among the Saints we have already signed, decreeing that she is to be venerated as such by the whole of the Kop."

Southampton Football Club refused to make a comment, saying only that they were confident that Mother Teresa would be signing a long term contract very soon.

Saints related social media was rife with comments saying that this was typical of the club, that we are desperate for a forward and that Mother Teresa does not have appeared to have played in this position at an time during her career and that it seems that Les Reed has taken vows of chastity and poverty.

Photo: Action Images

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Zambucco added 16:16 - Sep 5
£40m not bad for an old woman who died 9 years ago and would be 106 if she was still alive today. Les Reed and the black box can clearly work miracles

SanMarco added 16:48 - Sep 5
The headline is an amusing joke. The other few hundred words spoil it. Brevity is the soul of wit as the bard wisely said...

1970 added 00:18 - Sep 6
Its still amazing how much money S***epool waste every season and don't win anything,
I know we all moan about our team but how can you give another team 50 million pound or so and still finish below them you'd think some-one would lose there job but instead they shell out another 34 million to the same team, priceless.

arfurdent added 08:50 - Sep 6
perhaps a bit tacky

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