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Saints Fan In Court Charged With Optimism !

A Saints supporter will appear at Southampton Magistrates court this morning accused of Optimism Ahead Of The Coming Season, a crime under the Football Conduct Act (2014) sub section B (Southampton FC)

The supporter who has not yet been named and appears on the court listings only as Supporter A will appear before magistrates at 10am this morning and is expected to plead guilty but with mitigating circumstances and the case is expected to be passed to Southampton Crown court for sentencing.

He was arrested after an elaborate sting operation by Hampshire Police who were alerted to his behaviour on social media by a number of supporters who were appalled by his comments about seeing no reason why Saints could not finish 12th this season.

These stood out in a sea of pessimism and he soon enraged other Saints fans when he admitted he had renewed his season ticket and he had faith in Ralph Hasenhuttl to again take us to a comfortable position in the Premier League with perhaps another good cup run thrown in.

But the real issue was one of grooming, he was allegedly encouraging other fans to do likewise in supporting the team for the current season.

One supporter who wished to remain anonymous had this to say.

"Initially no one took much notice of him, he blended into the crowd so to speak, but many started to spot tell tale signs that something was not quite right, it was the little things, he failed to froth at the mouth when stories emerged of Shane long being offered a new contract, he appeared rational when talking about Ralph Hasenhuttl's 3 years at the club and he more worryingly he seemed willing to give the new owners the opportunity to show what they could do.

This is not the Southampton way of doing things, we have a proud tradition of righteous indignation during the summer close season, it is our right to brag about not renewing our season tickets due to not being entertained and also to claim that the last season was the worst one ever and we cant allow one loose cannon to spoil all that"

Several fans contacted the Football Intelligence Unit and they started to monitor Supporter A's behaviour on Social Media and they too soon noticed a worrying trend of underlying optimism.

It was decided to mount a sting and a police constable was selected to infiltrate the dark underworld of Saints supporters social media sites.

This was not without danger, if the undercover man ( I say man, he/she/they were undercover it could be a woman or indeed someone non gender assigned) was unmasked it could have severe repercussions for them and their family.

PC X as he/she/they will be known set up their profile and set the trap.

It is believed that evidence will be presented by the crown that shows Supporter A is guilty of the following offences under the Football Conduct Act (2014) sub section B (Southampton FC), I will leave off the sub sections etc due to the time limitations in writing this article and as i'm making it all of this up they don't exist anyway.

Charge 1 - That in the City of Southampton on various occasions between April & June 2019 Supporter A did in a manner not befitting a supporter of Southampton Football Club said that he thought that the club could move forward under the new owners and could potentially finish mid table next season.

Charge 2 - That in the city of etc etc Supporter A boasted of renewing his season ticket and encouraged those around him to do likewise

Charge 3 - That in the etc etc Supporter A in a public place namely Saints fan social media, despite having many opportunities to do so he did not accuse Shane Long of "Stealing a wage"

Charge 4 - That etc etc Supporter A said he had faith in Ralph Hasenhuttl and encouraged others to do so.

Charge 5 - Etc Etc Supporter A sent private messages to others, containing material that could be considered offensive to others, to include but not exclusively, a copy of the league table in February 2022 showing Saints in 9th, historical data showing SFC in top spot in the Premier League and footage of an FA Cup semi final in 2021.

Charge 6 - Etc Supporter A suggested that he might attend the pre season friendly against Villareal and encouraged others to do so.

Charge 7 - Etc - Supporter A said he felt the club had ambition.

Charge 8 - Etc Supporter A admitted that he wanted Liverpool to win the Champions League and subsequently also stated that he thought that it was the French Police's fault and when challenged refused to call all Scousers Bin Dippers.

Charge 9 - Etc Supporter A incited those around him to get behind the team for the coming season.

Charge 10 - Etc Supporter A did allow three days of the close season to pass and by May 25th had not frothed at the mouth on social media that Saints had not yet made a signing in the transfer window using the excuse that the window had not opened yet.

Charge 11- Etc Supporter A on several occasions on social media did state that he thought Nathan Redmond was a decent player.

As you read this article Supporter A will be facing these heinous charges, something no Saints supporter on social media will surely condone, I would suggest that we should find him guilty with no regard for the actual facts of the matter,, he has infringed our right to spent May, June & July of any given close season to condemn the club, it's owners and it's manager before a ball has been kicked.

Our right to claim every signing shows a lack of ambition within the club, to repeat well worn cliché's such as "I would drive him there myself" whenever one of our players is linked with another club as if we are the first person ever to have made such a witty remark and perhaps much more importantly the right to change our minds every week once the season has started on any given player or signing.

The case is expected to be adjourned and passed to Southampton Crown Court for sentencing where he will be offered a plea bargain of either a season ticket for life at St Mary's or to be shot at dawn by a firing squad, whom he can choose himself.

It is believed that he will choose the latter option and has already selected all of last season's squad bar James Ward Prowse as he would still be alive at dusk.

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