Liverpool's Dejan Lovren has tonight been celebrating the fact that he has dropped down the pecking order to become only the second most hated man in Southampton.

For the past three years Dejan Lovren has been public enemy number one in Southampton after his body demanded to leave Southampton and rejoin his head that was already in Liverpool.

Now by a big coincidence a similar situation has developed beween the two clubs although so far Saints have managed to keep Virgil Van Dijk in one piece albeit one that is not training due to an unsettled mindset.

That has lead many Saints fans feeling that they would quite like to send Van Dijk's head up to Merseyside preferably on a platter.

However for Dejan Lovren the situation does have a silver lining in that not only does he get several privileges reserved only for the 2nd most hated man in Southampton and not for the first, but if Saints do hold firm he has a chance of keeping his place in the Liverpool first team this coming season.

Lovren has found out the hard way what it is like to be MHMIS in the eyes of Saints supporters, he has enjoyed the benefits of having obscene songs sung about him every time the two clubs have met, he has enjoyed hearing the laughter in Southampton from a lonely penalty box in Istanbul when he skied the penalty that put Liverpool out of Europe against Besiktas and of course a hefty discount on the sympathy usually given to a former Saints player when they have adversity in their career, with Saints supporters giving him a whopping 100% discount off their usual caring attitude.

But now he is only deputy **** to Van Dijk's number one he also gets other benefits.

He can now park his car in the centre of Southampton as long as he parks it next to one with say the personal number plate VVW 1 (Not the real number) in the safe knowledge that his will remain untouched whilst the other could be turned into scrap metal.

He now will no longer need an armed guard to get him into St Mary's as all Police leave will be cancelled to get van Dijk into the ground, not that he will need it as if Van Dijk does go to Liverpool, then he will be on loan at Tranmere for the rest of the season.

He will be able to take a cruise from Southampton without the worry of a submarine attack, as long as he has checked Van Dijk hasn't also booked that cruise.

Life has just got so much better for Dejan Lovren and he has Virgil Van Dijk's agent to thank for it, for the biggest ghostwritten piece of fiction to be published since Ashley Cole's Autobiography.

Photo: Action Images

ChristchurchSaint added 21:55 - Aug 7 Thanks Nick, light hearted to help get the blood pressure back to normal! 😆
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dirk_doone added 23:03 - Aug 7 Hats off to Old Les. He is brilliant at one thing: manipulating the Southampton fanbase. He's going to get his cut, Kat is going to get another 60 million and everybody is going to love them and hate the player they're selling. The same thing has happened so many times before - Lallana, Lovren, Wanyama, Mane, Fonte - yet we still fall for it. Who will be the next player Old Les's PR team sling mud at with their well placed 'leaks' before he is sold? Gabbiadini? Stephens? For the record, I don't like van Dijk and won't paricularly miss him. But, boy are we suckers for Old Les's PR.

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pete_boggs added 00:58 - Aug 8 DD a rare person without a woolly coat.
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oldeastterrace added 06:12 - Aug 8 When Les described Saints as a 'showpiece club' that tells you straight away that even he saw us as a stepping stone club for players. That's how we entice players here in the first place. We say to them "Look come here, if you cut it in the Premier League you will get a big move elsewhere'' The fact is we don't pay the going rate for players at the top of their game, so this sort of thing will continually happen. I f----n hate losing our best players year on year, especially to smug f----n c---ts like Livershite.. Do we have to except this? There are two ways at looking at this. We can say NO we don't want to be a stepping stone in which case it may be harder to attract the best upcoming players OR We can look at it and say to ourselves at least we will get a year or two out of some really decent players which will help our league placings etc. I would love us to be able to keep these players but the current 'Going rate' is way beyond what Southampton can or will pay! In short the only way to end this yearly turnover of players is for Saints to get MEGA wealthy owners and to extend St Mary's to a 75.000 capacity. As i say I f----n hate this like all of us, its hard watching talented players leave all the time. As far as Van Djyke goes his dirty filthy agent is at the root of this current situation. It sounds as if Saints were looking to keep him for another year but Jansen and VVD are acting like spoilt brats and as for Liverpool, the way they go about things is a f----n disgrace!!!

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SaintPaulVW added 08:37 - Aug 8 I can't wait for the football to actually start so we can get past all this sh1te. Oh yeah no one will be happy then either.
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NeilF added 13:37 - Aug 8 What has Van Dyke been saying to the medics who have looked after for the last six months? The work they have put in to get him back to fitness and he turns around and says "cheers for that, I am now just out to put in a transfer request!" Let's hope Les give the medics a bonus for being messed around and recoups all the expense spared on Van Dykes' recuperation.
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