JACKARMY.net POSTER PROFILE - Cambridge_Jack
Poster Profiles - Cambridge_Jack |
JackArmy.net accepts no liability for the inaccuracy of any poster profile. They are written with humour in mind and we cannot guarantee the accuracy of the information contained nor the similarity in the pictures used. POSTER PROFILE - Cambridge_Jack Cambridge_Jack is without a doubt the most useful poster on the Rivals network. For those of you that are old enough to remember the 1980s TV classic 'The A-Team' you will remember the opening lines of the programme which contained these words "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire: THE A-TEAM. CJ's own web site contains very similar wording "If you have a campaign and no-one else will back it then give me a shout because maybe you can hire Cambridge_Jack Leaflet team" OK, OK, I know it's poor but it just goes to show that you really COULD make it up! Cambridge_Jack's life history can be traced back to the 1960s and a small terraced house in St Thomas. Come to think of it has anyone seen a terraced house that is described by people other than small? I mean they're not big compared to say a palace but they do tend to be bigger than your average box. Anyway, I digress. The house was enough to see Cambridge and his two brothers Ipswich and Norwich and his sister Peterborough grow up with a happy childhood. Early indications of Cambridge's real life came in his early days where "Cereal Choice for Teenagers" and "Television past the watershed on weekends for all" were successful campaigns within his household. Indeed, such were the legend that surrounded these campaigns that it is believed that Geordie magazine Viz modelled their 90s character "Tory Boy" on the young Cambridge. However, the young Cambridge did suffer early setbacks in his political career with three successive election defeats in the form captain voting missing out to such school legends as Millicent Harrison-Blythe, Cuthbert Palmer-Tomkinson and most humiliatingly for Cambridge his arch Rival Oxford Blue. However, the latter campaign was surrounded by controversy with several wads of cash for questions taking place and Cambridge vowed there and then never to stand for form captain ever again. The fact that he was 23 at the time of the election was also a factor in his decision. Upon leaving school, Cambridge proceeded to travel the world. Well, he travelled to Newport but decided that was enough for him. The lure of Swansea was too great for him to resist and he spent three years building himself a retreat just over the top of Kilvey Hill. Many people believe that he lives outside of Swansea but rarely is he seen out in his home city, venturing out just three times a week for bread and milk and the odd can of baked beans. Cambridge though, despite his state of near recluseness (is that a real word?) has a wide circle of friends whom he entertains in his retreat. Many of them form part of his campaign team whom he lovingly refers to as SEALS (Swansea Election and Leaflet Services) although most of them reside in and around the London area which is something that Cambridge insists on as he wants them to be nearer the political hub of the capital. What many don't know (and I really don't know if I should tell you this) but Cambridge also takes the part of Sybil the Duck on matchdays. He won through an audition of three people to land the part and spends matchdays giving subliminal messages to the support through the power of his actions. So if you ever wonder why you leave the game with a desire to vote Liberal Democrat or boycott Marmite then you know who to blame. Cambridge really is a legend in his own underpants and for that reason alone we salute him as Swansea's favourite politician. Well, behind Cyril Smith of course. Where we would never have seen him. Favourite Food - Anything he isn't currently boycotting Favourite Drink - Cambridge is completely tee total. Bar Jack Daniels. And White Wine. And Lager. And anything over 5% proof Most likely to say - "Step into my office" Least Likely to Say - "Politics has never really interested me" All time Hero - Mrs Thatcher Favourite visiting fan - Mozzer Swansea's version of - Alistair Campbell To Read Other Poster Profiles - Please Click Here WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS SERIES? CLICK HERE TO E-MAIL US YOUR OWN POSTER PROFILES. PLEASE USE THE ABOVE AS A GUIDELINE TO WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR What to read next:Two players who have come to Swansea City in the last two seasons from London clubs have earned a position on the clubs retained list this weekend. Both are considered exceptional talents by the Swans academy, and their dream remains alive to become full professional players in the first team squad. As we stated this morning Swansea City have released their retained list and also confirmed the signing of Joe Allen for another year. The midfielder has been sitting on an offer for some weeks but indicated via a third party to us he would sign. We understand that the Swans retained list will be announced today or at the latest on Saturday. And of course that includes players that will be released by the club from the academy and first team squad. So, the Swans plans and immediate future regards players coming in will become much clearer. Or at least the areas they need to target. Bar the Macaulay Langstaff news there has been little of any concrete info in the offing this week. Mind you that alone caused a stir. Between now and the transfer window opening on June 14th, which is the date for the European Championships to start there will be little to speculate on. There’s a lot more to Notts County’s prolific goalscorer than meets the eye. Not least his excellent injury record and the fact at twenty seven he is now in his prime as a professional footballer. Swansea City centre back Nathan Wood is aware that the Swans will listen to offers for his transfer away from the club this summer. His contract was extended recently with the Swans triggering a one year option on the player. It seems Joe Allen’s immediate future will continue to be at Swansea City as an agreement in principle has been reached between the two parties. With the Swans retained list about to be named, generally around the 18th of the month, we take a look at those who stay, and their value to the club. The players who have the determination to turn next season in to more than a passing parade and a dismal home loss record. It was a pretty poor end to what can only be described as a disappointing football season for Swansea City. The defeat to Millwall yesterday was a display that has frustrated Swansea City supporters all season. A lack of effort, intensity and desire rewarding the home support with yet another home loss. Swansea City 0 - 1 Millwall - Player Ratings and Reports
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